advice needed from veteran mums for motherless first-time mum

[tintinenamerique]

Please take a minute..

I feel I need some general steering in the right direction with 9-month old pfb and after losing my mum several years ago I'm a bit stumped as to who to turn to.
Ds is a delight and the happiest baby around, however there are a few things niggling me.

1. Food - picked him up from nursery where they told me that (again) he has had 2 weetabix for breakfast (the little mite weighs just 16lbs), they seem to think he's hungry and needs to be fed more.

This is a typical day milk feed at anywhere between 2.30 and 4.30am (I then offer him another about 6.30 but he rarely takes it) 7.30 - breakfast (2 days a week at nursery), weetabix or ready break maybe a snack at 10.30 12 - lunch - pureed slag bol/chicken casserole etc or Ellas pouch (7+ months) + yoghurt or similar 2.30/3 - offer him bf - sometimes wants it, not always, snack and water 5.30 - dinner - like lunch 6.45 - offer bf, rarely takes it Why is he hungry and (moreover) where can I increase the food?

1. Milk. I hate hate hate milk. He's only just stopped throwing it up, he won't take formula, he doesn't make a fuss just refuses the bottle/cup etc and goes without. He was sleeping 7-5 with no night feed, now he's up wanting milk in the night (usually just once) but pretty much never takes any milk before bed
2. Night waking, nights were good (see above) as soon as he started on solids, but in the last few weeks he's up again wanting milk (once) and in the last week, nights have been horrendous with him waking up throughout the night and refusing to go back to sleep at after 4am (until 7.30 or 8). He naps well (2 x 90 mins a day).

Sorry for epic post, thoughts required on any or all of the above points.

I would hardly describe myself as a veteran as I only have a 2.5 year old and a 17 month old but didn't want your post to go unanswered.

I looked at the WHO centiles charts and it looks like he's around the 25th centile for his age on weight. What was he when he was born? Has he stayed broadly on his "line." If so, I'd say there isn't too much to worry about for a start off.

Secondly, it sounds like he's getting plenty in a day but maybe start moving him from purées to more solid food? At 9mos DD1 was still just eating purées and it ended up being a bit of a battle to move her to solids. With DD2 I introduced them earlier and it was certainly helpful.

Does he like banana? Maybe offer that as a snack if he doesn't want his afternoon milk? And add it to his breakfast?

Also, in my experience, sometimes they eat more at childcare - they get to be part of the gang - rather than when we're sitting looking at them at getting a bit stressed about it (and no matter how hard we try not to, let's face it, we do.)

But I wouldn't worry about any of it unless you're overall worried about his weight gain.

Thank you Middlings. He was 0.4th when he was born and is now between 2nd and 9th, I'm not concerned about his weight gain, just don't want to think of him being hungry.

He's eating more mush than puree (i.e. our food given a 'once over' by the stick blender) but maybe I need to increase the portion size for starters and keep trying to fill him up until he starts sleeping properly again (or bursts whichever comes first).

I'll start with bananas.

That sounds like a good plan. I'd also definitely do the snack at 10.30 - if he doesn't want it, he won't each it!

The intervals between him eating sound good - and you're not describing him as being unsettled and acting as if he's hungry. I think he probably would be if he really was!

On the night wakings, at this age, I think people think it's not linked to food - could be age, teeth, phase of the moon, day of the week, anything .

Good luck! This feeding thing is horrid - so stressful. I said on another thread the other day, when I first weaned DD2 she'd eat anything that was put in front of her. A sausage roll, bit of cheese and a yoghurt is a win these days.....sigh.....

You're bf? He sounds as if he could do with more milk, at under a year it should still be the main site e if nutrition, it's very high in calories

If I were you I would make dinner earlier - before 5
Then bath and try lying down together skin to skin at about 7 to encourage bf

Then sneak in a dream feed when you go to bed

Hopefully then nights will be better (but if he does want it in The night, bf him)

Not sure weetabix is a particularly filling breakfast - is he really wanting two or are they encouraging him to eat as much as they can spoon into him, because he is small? His weight seems to be tracking fine, you might need to show them his red book. Well meaning comments from them, but they shouldn't make you feel that you have been under feeding him!

I think there might be a sleep regression/development leap thingy at 9 mo too? Not much to do but bf in the night and weather it out. Bf so much about comfort/being close to you as well as food.

Thank you for these replies. Things are much improved (he slept 7-7 for the first (and hopefully not last) time last night).

The message seems very much to be 'get more calories in' and after speaking to nursery, this is what they are suggesting too. I've upped the portion sizes, made more food I know he loves (I'll deal with food fussiness later) and generally tried hard to get him to eat a bit more.

As for the breastfeeding. He refused a couple of mid-afternoon feeds this week so I took his lead and dropped this one (I know the points made have been to up the milk) but...it has meant he wanted the pre-bed feed. It seems that these two factors combined have filled him enough to keep him going a bit longer.

I think also he's been feeling a bit run down with teething/a bit coldy.

It's always so obvious when you're not stuck in the middle of a difficult sleep-deprived place.

Next time I have such a hellish week, I'll hopefully feel a bit more prepared!

You could maybe go for an oats based breakfast - porridge or I make granola here.

Although weetabix is fine I think.

I once experimented with dd1 to see ow much she could eat t about that age and she ate 3 weetabix followed by a pile of fruit.. I was gobsmacked

It sounds like you are doing fine though.

I would agree with above posters with regards to introducing solids. Banana, avocado, chunks of cheese, up his dairy if he's not into milk.

Hi I have four children and I think what you're doing sounds right I wouldn't worry about his weight if he is roughly following the same line. The only thing I would suggest changing is the purées start introducing mashed with a fork and more finger foods. At the end of the day he will eat what he wants and as long as you are offering him food at regular intervals (which you are) I really wouldn't worry (I know not always easy) it sounds like you are doing a great job :)

I believe they can also go through a nursing strike at this age but keep persevering offering feeds as generally no baby should self wean this young.

I agree to offering more finger foods as well rather than just purées.

I found feeding a minefield with a not very interested in food baby, I just kept offering but not pushing it. I'm not best qualified to advise on that. There is definitely a sleep regression around 8 or 9 months though if that helps you understand the night issues a bit? Plenty of threads about it on here. It does pass!!!

Just wanted to add to the point about the growth spurt - around 8-10mo, which often leads to night waking for feeds/sleep regression for a week or two. DS1 pretty much bang on at 9mo spent about 10 days having a feed in the middle of the night and was generally hungrier. I did a dream feed when I went to bed after the first 2 nights having realised what was going on.

As for food, milk is their main nutrition for now and I go with following their lead. At 9mo DS1 was having about 4-5 large bottles a day (8-9oz), I think, he had Ready Brek for breakfast with fruit puree, and then everything else was just a bit of see-what-happens. We gave him regular food, wouldn't say we were strict BLW what with the fruit puree etc but we followed that line of thinking. If he ate, great, if not, no worries. Food is for fun until 1 and all that As long as they are thriving and happy then that's the main thing.

I feed my dd lots of full fat Greek yoghurt every day, sometimes twice a day. Dd gets through a big pot every week.

It does sound like filling up before bed will be helpful in getting a longer night. If he doesn't want milk perhaps offer yoghurt or cheese.

Might try the Greek yoghurt trick, he would eat yoghurt all day.
Have managed to reintroduce bedtime feeds and a combination of that and generally upping his daytime food seem to have improved his sleep (he did 7-7 a couple of night ago for the first time ever!)
Feeling reassured by your responses, thank you. Yes, larryphilanddave - he does seem to be happy and thriving so I guess I must be doing something right!