Staying at MIL on a (pre)school night

[pipsqueak77]

I guess this one would go well on a AIBU thread but in guess I'm asking what other parents do... I have a 3 year old at preschool (goes 3 days a week) but hubby is pressuring me to let him stay at my MIL's house during the week. I'm not comfortable with this on a school night as my MIL never puts him to bed until 10pm and she is a dreadful time keeper and is always late to get to places etc. I can see him going to bed at 10pm and never getting to preschool the next day, which I don't like. Trouble is, hubby is blowing up at me regularly saying I'm being mean and what's the problem with him missing a day of preschool here and there. I guess I'm a routine person and don't see it's necessary in the first place. There are 4 other days/nights to have sleepovers so why can't one be organised for then. MIL is not a planner, more a spontaneous person and likes to do things off the cuff, but I'm not, I'm a definite planner lol. Just wondering what everyone else thinks/does/did during the preschool years...

Not sure how old your ds is but assuming he's at pre-school so 4 or under - there is not a chance I would let him stay at MILs on any day of the week if she was to put him to bed at 10pm. My 10yr old would be a mess let alone my 2 year old.
Tell DH to wind his neck in and gently say no to MIL

sorry just seen you say he is 3 .....

Hi olives, he's 3, yes 10pm would make him a mess the next day. But as it's preschool and not school my hubby and mil don't see a problem. I just keep getting phrases like "he's my kid too, why do you get to call the shots, I have a say in it too, I'll take him there if I want" from the hubby (things not too rosy at home ATM(!) and I'm 20weeks pregnant so am feeling the strain). I just don't get why I'm being made to feel like such a bad guy by the hubby so whilst doubting myself I thought I would get some opinions on here. I'm a routine person, so are my folks, but hubby's family are definitely not and whatever happens happens. I'm just struggling to fight my corner cos I'm way outnumbered! So whilst I'm trying to stand my ground (which is upsetting) I'm also beginning to doubt myself (which I hate myself for!)...

No.

Not a chance.

Why is your husband pressuring you?

I just don't understand this obsession some grandparents seem to have with regular sleepover with very young children. My DD is 3 and she sees her adoring grandparents loads... but she lives with me. I don't feel the need to pack her off every week, and certainly not with a flakey grandparent who can't be trusted to put her to bed at a decent hour, or get her to preschool.

Thanks seaoflove, it sounds crazy but when you're the only one who feels a certain way about bedtimes in a school night it's easy to think you're going mad. It's good to get more perspectives on here (and reassuring that some people would feel the same as me). My husband has been brought up in a completely different way to me so we have very different ideas when it comes to our son. I really didn't realise how poles apart we were til we had a baby. L

nope I get pee'd off if we take DD to mil midweek and she's still up 1hr after her bedtime cos she's miserable the next day for preschool.

Why does your dh want her to go so much? Weird...

I'm not sure cheapandcheerful! He wants our son to spend more time with his grandma I guess but he only goes preschool for 3 days a week so why the other 4 aren't any good is beyond me! He's in such a good routine and is a fab sleeper, I don't get why he wants to disrupt it so much! Not sure if sometimes dh wants to just annoy me on purpose sometimes (we are rowing lots atm). No idea. Your guess is as good as mine lol