Struggling with almost 2 year old

[Firsttimemum84]

My son is almost 2 and speaks quite well but I really struggle with what feels like the constant moaning/crying if the smallest things don't go his way. I find myself getting cross with him and having been brought up by a shouty Mum it is the last thing I want to be. Any tips on how to stay calm? Also does anyone have any good book recommendations on how best to communicate with toddlers? I so badly want to be a good loving Mummy.

I can really sympathise with you, my 2 year old drives me bananas with her whinging and I don't feel like I deal with it very well. I was recommended a book which I have just started reading and it's really great so far - Calm Parents, Happy Kids by Laura Markham. Give it a go and see what you think, hopefully it will work for you too.

Toddler Taming by Christopher Green.kept me sane when I had 3toddlers.
Ds was 2 when twins were born!!

My son's nearly 3. I find that if he's being a handful, I just sit in a different room for a bit and leave him to have his tantrum alone (Obviously where I can see him).

I'm sure you've been told, but ignore tantrums! It may stress you out less, knowing you don't need to deal with him until he's calmed down, but keeping an eye on him. They'll get bored eventually because they're not getting any attention from it. Give him attention when he is being good and that's it.
They throw tantrums because they think if they do that, you'll maybe give in and get them what they want. And if you're going to give him warnings, carry them out or the next time he'll just think "that's not going to happen anyway, why bother listening".
(They don't call it terrible twos for nothing, ha!)

I've been looking at books like "I'm Sorry", "Why Share?" and other manners books. I know my mum had a massive set of manners books when I was young and it helped me understand why people help others out. I want to do the same with my son.

I would put moaning and whinging in the same bucket as full on tantrums, it's an unwanted behaviour only worthy of ignoring anything else would be rewarding if only because it got your attention.
I ignored this in my house and it slowley vanished.

I second the Laura Markham book, I was struggling with ds's tantrums and moaning and found myself getting very annoyed and prone to shouting but since trying out her approach things have been so much better. She also had a blog called Aha parenting which is worth looking at, I think she answers a question on there about how to deal with a child who whines a lot.

How to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk = brilliant