Won't poo in the potty/loo

[tracykb]

DD1 (3.3) has been dry for nearly a year, but absolutely refuses point-blank to poo anywhere except a nappy. When we first started potty-training her, she had a couple of accidents at nursery and went through a period of not wanting to wear knickers, or just holding in her poo till she had a nappy on. She was diagnosed with coeliac disease in May, which affects the bowels, although with DD seemed to have more impact the other end IFSWIM, so I let things go for a while, but since she's been on a gluten-free diet, and therefore quite healthy, things haven't improved.
She simply says 'mummy I need a nappy to do a poo-poo in' and 99% of the time goes immediately and then gets dressed again. Which is all well and good whilst we're at home, but not so convenient when out and about. She doesn't do it at pre-school though. Every so often, either I or OH try to get her to go on the potty, but we just end up with a hysterical, constipated child.
She's impervious to reward charts/bribery with treats and it's difficult to with-hold day-to-day stuff with twins of 19 months to see to as well.
I have heard it's quite a common problem, but have no idea how to tackle it. Any ideas anyone?
TIA

I know it sound odd but have you let her watch you and your DH having a poo on the toilet? If they see it as the norm it is often easier to get them to follow.

I know it sounds weak but I bribed dd with chocolate. I figure that a bit of chocolate will do less damage than severe constipation. It only took 2 days and now she happily poos in the toilet and wipes herself (aged 2 and 7 months). Quite embarresing in public tough when she shouts "I've done a poo, chocolate please"

Try putting something in the potty for her to poo on for a while. Sometimes they just don't like the feeling of 'losing' a poo. I used to use an old terry nappy but any sturdy rag folded up will do.

Had a friend whos DS did the same. She used to lie the nappy in the potty and then he had to see if he could get it in the nappy! Took a few days but he seemed happy with idea, she then gradually took nappy out. Also have you got one of those potties that is like a little chair? both my DS1 and hers found it easier to go on them as they can hold the 'arms' and hover if they need to!! Good luck

I was having problems with ds (5) pooing on the toilet and my hv suggested keeping some bubble mixture by the toilet and getting him to blow bubbles as
A) it gives him something fun to do
and
B) it relaxes the relevant muscles giving them no choice but to poo

Thanks for these replies and ideas. I will give them a go tomorrow. Had the idea today that maybe she thought it was yucky to poo, so when I changed her nappy told her what a lovely poo she'd done and what a shame she couldn't see it in the potty and I was the only one who'd know how good a poo it was - anyone listening would have thought I was mad!

Don't know if this snippet of info will be of any help but.....
my friends daughter was exactly the same and she eventually took her to the doctor as she was worried that the problem was deeper thans he could see. the doctor reassured her and suggested that she just let her poo in her nappy for now if that's what she wants and not to make a big thing of it and let her choose when she is ready. My friend really had no choice as she had tried every bribe and star chart under the sun so she completely chilled out about it and sure enough, within a few weeks she was doing her poos on the toilet with no fuss at all and the DD never even mentioned the fact.

I was in the exact same situation. My little boy has been doing wee on the toilet all year and only took a couple of days to train him. Poo has been a nightmare. I gave up and let him do it in the nappy which he only wore at night and he would hold on. He never asked for the nappy to be put on but had trained himself to poo just before he went to sleep, we would change him and all was fine. However the constant holding on is not good for them and his poo at nigh was quite large for a little one. I finally took him to the doctor who said his anus wall was streched and they begin to lose sensation to go and so just hold on. She prescribe movicol half sachets and after 3 days he did a big poo on the toilet and has now been pooing in the toilet for 3 weeks!
Go to the doctor and get it checked out again- what harm can it do?

My dd1 was exactly the same...although she didn't have anything medically wrong, she simply refused to poo anywhere but in her nappy. For her I think she had a "fear" of pooing somehow...she once accidently pooed in her bedroom and she was mortified!! She screamed as if she had seen a ghost!
I absolutely could not get her to do it on the toilet/potty....she would sit on the loo because she knew that she had to, but after a bit she'd say "its gone away now"
I really did try EVERYTHING! Stickers, bribes, getting cross....she'd been to the doctors twice...she would pee ALL the time because her little bladder had no room with her constantly full intestines! (the amount of times I thought she had a urine infection!!)
One health visitor even recommended I give her laxatives!!!!!!!! then she'd have no choice to go!!! (I didn't do that!)
I'm afraid in the end I had to resort to simply refusing her a nappy...I had tried all I could...I tried reasoning, encouraging..she must have watched every member of the family poo...and friends children too!! I tried the "Put a nappy in the potty" trick...she was just so adament!
I was worried, as she was coming up to 3.8 years...and she was starting school at 4! I just thought..god she can't possibly just store it all up all day...and what if she had an accident!!!!!
So I just refused her a nappy! She had a few horrendous tantrums, then on the evening, she proudly came downstairs to say she had done it!!!!! I went to look, and she had indeed done it in the loo.
She got a huge hug, lots of fuss, and we put the Tent up in the garden for her for the weekend! (she had wanted to do this for weeks!)
She has been fine ever since (she's 5 now).
It is a nightmare I know but if all else fails maybe you could resort to taking the nappy away??
You just have to be VERY strong and not give in!!!!

My ds was like this - he had been badly constipated when he was little and I didn't want that to happen again, so I went with it. I just put a nappy on him when he wanted to poo. I didn't really see it as a problem - it was usually only once a day. He was 4 before he would poo in the loo. We were on holiday and in the pool when he needed a poo. I said that we could go all the way back up to our room for a nappy or we could just dash to the loo and he's be back in the pool quicker. So we went to the loo. I had to hold him really tightly while he sat there for another month or so, after that he was fine.

Thanks again for your advice. I think we will just chill out about things for a while. Every so often I'll mention what a great reward she would get if she did manage a poo in the potty, but other than that, I think we'll just use positive psychology for now. So long as we're sorted by next year when she starts school...