Introverted mum of introverted toddlers & the art of socialising

[eversomuch]

My dc are 2 & 3, like me they are pretty introverted & highly sensitive (cautious & slow to connect with others, don't like noisy, crowded places, for example). I find it a challenge to arrange play dates & make friends with other mums. can't do small talk, etc. I want to help my dc make friends & navigate social situations but I don't seem to be that successful at it. Have any fellow introverts discovered ways to help make it happen?

Oh no, you've posted this in a really quiet area of the board!

Consider this a bump.

Your dc will be old enough to do after school clubs and what not soon enough.
I started swimming clubs etc very young and used to go with a girl on my street, it gave the mum a chance to have a coffee etc.
Nursery groups do things like charity cake days etc that are fun to get involved in.
I think the mystery around socializing is simplified when you can focus on a regular activity.

mums plural not mum.

You see its posts like this that make me think I had it easy really - had my first baby when living in the town I grew up in, and had a ready made set of friends, then moved to another town where lots of my old school friends were and they had children similar ages. Just those few friends here were enough to get me started on making other friends too, as i got to know people and groups through my existing friends!

It took a good 2 years of going to groups etc before any of the other friendships really took off though. It took a bit of effort from me, an introvert, but once the DC saw me joining in and chatting they soon followed my example. I don't have regular meet ups but I know the others do lots of stuff I could go and join in with, ifyswim. I found it got easier when my eldest started nursery and then school. Nowadays I make myself do chat and joining in as much as I can stand just to set an example for the DCs really.

Its hard work sometimes, so I really feel for you ever

I used to hate going to groups when they were that age- I have a similar gap. I found the playgroups so noisy and there's always be an issue to sort out- fighting over toys etc. I stopped going .
What I did enjoy was a free cookery class for kids run by our children's centre. It was structured and led by a pro. Some of the music ones are ok too in the same way- unless of course you are expected to sing and don't wish to!
Now they are both at nursery so that's their socialisation as far as I'm concerned. We don't really do play dates as I don't know many other mums but I'm sure by school age that will happen.

I think the children's centre drop in to play things are good. There might not always be other kids there, but if not they can still have a good play, and if there are, it's only a couple max so easier to talk with parents (I think) and just make small talk about the kids / the centre.

It's hard as I'm not introvert but my son appears to be (so far) and I want him to get used to other kids / socialise, but not make him feel uncomfortable. He likes playgroups so long as i'm near - doesn't really play with others just the toys - so we do that but stick to quieter ones. The best thing for him is a music group, about 12 kids under 2 and it's a structured but lovely and relaxed session where he sits on my knee for a lot then joins in with actions, dancing around and stuff and he adores it. I think because there is something to focus on and I'm doing it with him, but I like to think he's also getting used to engaging with others.

Good luck OP x
PS - have you tried the local board for meeting other mums /kids?