How to encourage experimentation in my dd?

[Earlybird]

How can I help a cautious child understand that it's OK to try new things? I want her to have the confidence to experiment, take a risk now and then and "give it a go", knowing that new experiences could be fun/interesting/yummy etc. She's 5.9, btw

What sort of things does your DD like doing, Earlybird?

It's probably best to build on those.

Eg: DS1 was quite shy when younger. He liked singing, so we bought him a karaoke machine for Christmas. He used to use it in his room, then sang with his friends when they came round, then decided to join a youth theatre.

Little steps are a good way to build confidence IMO, as well as LOTS of praise and encouragement, obviously.

Humphrey, thanks for your response and suggestions.

I probably haven't given enough details. So, I'll elaborate....even though it might be a bit serious for a Sunday night!

DD is a curious, lively child who does well at school. However, she is extremely cautious and hesitant when faced with anything unfamiliar - whether it's a new food, a new experience, or a new concept. She becomes nervous, tense and immediately seeks out adult help rather than having a go herself. She also seems to think she should know how to/be able to do many things straight away, without allowing for practice and improvement.

I'd like for her to know that experimentation can be a positive thing, that some risk taking is good, that practice is necessary to master new skills, and that not succeeding straight away is OK. I think it's also important to know when to conform/follow the rules, but also that different ways of doing things are OK and even good.

Any ideas? Reading that back I think I sound like an overbearing mum. I just want her to be happy and relaxed. How can I help her?

I think the best thing to do would be to ensure she doesn't feel embarrased or ashamed of being so cautious and make sure she is feels secure by letting her stay within her comfort zone until she seeks out new things for herself.

I may be completely wrong though!

Why not let her see you on a journey of exploration - not in the sense that you're leading her, but that you're experiencing something new yourself. So that she can see you looking forward/apprehensive, trying it, getting it wrong, then getting it right, enjoying it, excited, fulfilled. It might be meticulously planned by you, but as far as she sees it could be totally spontaneous. The objective being not to teach her but to let her see you doing something new and that it's quite safe.

Good ideas, thanks.

More thinking out loud from me: I'm a single mum, and wonder if I have been over-protective at times. The negative interpretation of being protective/responsible/organised could be termed "controlling" - maybe she has not been allowed to experiment enough?

DD is also an only child. I think children understand when they try to emulate an older sibling - sometimes they can, and sometimes they can't because "I'm not yet old enough to do that", which is it's own logical and valid explanation for trying/sometimes failing. I think when dd tries some new things, she sometimes puts pressure on herself to master things that are beyond her abilities.

....perhaps this is some early signs of perfectionism - ie, wants to get it "right", and if that's not guaranteed, she hesitates/often refuses to try at all.

Given my own personality, I don't think I could handle a "daredevil" child , but I wish she felt more interested in experimenting/being resourceful to find answers. At the moment, she's doing a cd-rom suitable for 3-5 (which of course she finds very easy), instead of attempting the one suitable for 5-7 which would be more challenging and might even have some aspects she couldn't do. Just one small example....

Good point about her being an only child. When we had only one child we were far too involved in him for his own good, but couldn't really see that until we had had another and had seen other one-child families from a different perspective. But it's very difficult to back off and not guide your child! School also helped ds become more adventurous and courageous.