Toddler won't eat

[SweetPeaPods]

My ds1 is 20months. He went off food (proper meals) in Dec, including his favourites like fish pie. Over Christmas he got bad tonsillitis so would only eat yoghurts. He picked up a bit (after antibiotics) and started eating some weetabix and crisps.
He is now refusing all good again. He just won't put anything in his mouth. I've tried tempting him with food DH and I are eating, as well as chips, chocolate, Jaffa cakes, fruit but he just shakes his head. He looks like he is getting his molars through so I'm sure that's not helping.
So, how long do I leave it? Surely at 20m he should have more than milk? I spoke to HV who didn't seem too worried but I am.

I've just had this with my ds who is almost 14 months. He's always been an amazing eater and suddenly he got either very fussy or just literally wouldn't eat a thing.

He's just had 3 of his first molars break through so I think that was definitely part of the problem. He is now eating things like cooked carrots again whereas I think previously they were hurting his gums.

He did get in the habit of resolutely refusing even a mouthful of dinner. So I cut out absolutely all snacks and that made a huge difference. It meant he was genuinely hungry and therefore are his dinner without any fuss.

I think without realising it I was upping the snacks because I was worried about him not eating which meant he was satisfying his small amount of hunger with empty food like rice cakes etc.

Yesterday was a real tuning point for us and so I will continue to cut out snacks until I feel proper mealtimes are restablished. His appetite still isn't where it used to be but I read that's normal as they turn a year, they just need fewer calories as they don't grow as fast. Maybe this is also partly it with your ds even though he's older? Also I am genuinely shocked at what an impact the molars had on his eating.

Hope things improve for you!

Ps - I also stopped offering him alternatives when he refused a meal. It felt horrible him going to bed without dinner but equally I felt that we were starting to go down a really slippery slope with me dancing about like a loon offering him many alternatives.

Thanks, glad your lo is improving.
I wondered that about offering yoghurts, Weetabix etc as I don't want him going to bed hungry. But he's even refusing them at the minute so maybe I should stop offering. Hopefully the molars will break through soon then hopefully back to normal.

When dd2 molars came through she did exactly the same thing . Even though she wasn't whinging I was worried. I gave a small amount of calpol and found that at meal times I gave really soft stuff like pasta with no sauce just parmesan and oil / carrots / mashed bananas ( they were a lifesaver) she tried them . Some days no some days yes . It did my head in and even took her to be checked over as she just wasn't eating. However she slowly started and I just tried to keep it as normal as possible.

The yogurts are acting as meal replacements at the moment. He's getting all his calorific needs that way. Aim to lower the number of yogurts you offer him slowly and ensure he is hungry before offering him other stuff. Avoid giving crap like Jaffa cakes as you will be just swapping one problem for another. Change to Greek yogurt with pureed fruit if you do give yogurt? There are lots of tasty healthy foods about so no need to stoop to rubbish.

Move towards having yogurts as puddings.

Also along with the teething this is the age where children are becoming aware of their own personalities and not wishing to do and eat what they are told to.

If you give them choices it makes them feel more independent and grown up. So small bowls of carrot sticks and or peas etc. on the table with their pasta or whatever they can help themselves to.

Also sit and eat with them, don't 'hover' or fuss whether they eat or not.

The yogurts really started when he had the tonsillitis so it was cooling for him.
He really just refuses anything at the minute, even the snacks. That's why I'm worried.
We are still putting him in high chair at meal times and he watches us eat. You can tell he's hungry but then gets upset.

So it's only while he's ill? As long as he's having liquids he'll be fine, no one wants to eat when they feel rough do they? Try him with a piece of fresh lemon (good for Vit. C) some children love them and it'll help his sore throat. Yoghurts can 'bung up' some people.

sweetpea just to say that I was also worried about ds going to bed hungry. But a few nights ago I'd absolutely had enough, he wouldn't so much as try his dinner, so I cleared it away and didn't offer anything else. That night he slept 12.5 hours straight so that taught me that I should have been listening to ds - he genuinely wasn't hungry.

OP, this has been my ds his whole life and he is 22 months. Very rarely he eats properly, normally very small amounts and just recently sod all. He is sleeping badly too. I feel like I did when he was a refluxy new born. He didn't eat or sleep then either. Things are so bad I have called the HV today. Now that's desperate! At least you know your son can and will eat when he wants. I am still waiting for this with ds! With your son it probably is just a phase he will grow out of.

DD is getting 4 molars through at the same time and has eaten nothing (absolutely nothing!) for 4 days. They look so sore and swollen so assuming it's that. Must be so painful for the poor things. She's drinking milk though so I'm not going to worry just yet, I've been giving her the ready made formula as it has plenty of vitamins in.

I feel like I've had a breakthrough in recent weeks with my dd who has always eaten like a sparrow and who doesn't eat much fruit or veg. Here is what I have done:

• I have cut out her morning milk which we used to give first thing.
• The only snack I offer (once a day about 10 in the morning) is an Ella's kitchen fruit pouch, or fruit. No other snacks. She is therefore hungry at mealtimes.
• Regular mealtimes - I make breakfast at 7.30, lunch at 12 and tea at 5.
• We have breakfast as a family, and she and I eat the same lunch together.
• She quite often eats my food (which is fine by me).
• We go through veg options together before I cook it so she chooses what to eat and serve the veg up first.
• She likes yoghurt in different types of packages, and I use that to bargain with her - eg if you eat 3 pieces of broccoli and 5 pieces of fish you can have a special yoghurt.
• I will then have a piece of fruit and she sometimes will have a few little bites.

She is now pretty much eating 3 good meals a day - whether it is because of what I have done, or she has just discovered food, or is going through a growth spurt I'm not sure, but she is starting to fill out a bit and I'm now starting to relax a bit with the snacks. Constipation has always been a bit of a problem and I have banned white bread which also makes a difference.

Good luck. I have found it thoroughly exhausting, and am chuffed to pieces she's tucking in to food with a bit more gusto.

Congrats tomatoplant Try giving her pure rye bread, (Waitrose and the big Sainsbos do it) instead of wholewheat, you'll cure the const. completely (I'm terrible with any type of wheat) and that's how I got over it.

Tomatoplant how much milk do you give now?
I'm hoping once these molars are through eating will be back to normal. Think we're just unlucky having the weeks of tonsillitis first.

Milk isn't necessary after the ist year (though the manufacturers would tell you different of course). When I stopped milk ds recovered from tonsillitis immediately, cows milk is for calves.

We had this - a shorter phase though admittedly. TBH I didn't do anything drastic, I was worried about him being hungry so did just go with what he would eat (mainly fruit and sometimes snacky stuff). It never affected his sleep, I thought it would and though we still have fussy times where he refuses a meal, it's lots better and he always tries his food and mostly eats a decent amount. Previously he was a dustbin so I've had to adjust my mindset and let myself trust this new, fussier appetite. he's 21 months.

I guess with your DS he's had a bit of a run so is more in the habit of not eating than eating but hopefully it wont last.

Lightheated but a funny "singalong" - you're not alone bigtroubleinlittlenappies.com/baby/hungry-eyes-nod-fussy-eating-phase/