Don't you just love it when smug parents-of-two-perfect-children get their come-uppance with the third?!

[roisin]

I have friends who had a girl first (same age as my ds1), but very placid and easy-going; at first they were prepared to give me the parenting benefit of the doubt that maybe boys were different.

But then they have a boy (same age as my ds2), who is also malleable, compliant, and generally angelic at every turn.

They then become irritatingly smug parents, convinced that their children's good nature is entirely due to their wonderful parenting skills...
Then third child comes along ...

He is by no means a demon-child-from-hell ... he's just a normal, boisterous, at times hard-work pre-schooler.
But he hasn't half changed some of their smug attitudes

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I had my hard-work, demon, mentalist children first. Number three has surprised me the other way - he is so easy, placid and adorable. I think of him as my reward for having it so hard with the first two. I thought all children were hyperactive nutters until I had my third.

DS1 didn't sleep properly for 18 months, had colic, was difficult to potty train thanks to my making a real pig's ear of it, but is the liveliest, most run-away-ist, most engaging and enquiring little chap I know.

DS2 slept better, didn't have colic, potty trained better because I wasn't so pathetic by then, and is energetic, chatty and engaging but in a less intensive way.

DS3 just sleeps, so far!! early days I know (he's 9 weeks today).

So, like Celery, some of us do it in reverse order

Got my comeuppance on no2....

No 3? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ahahahhahahahhahaha

I have two "good" children. I daren't have a third!

Oh, I'm a bad person but I am so hoping this happens to my cousin. She had her first baby 6 months ago and he is the easiest going, most amenable baby ever. She is, of course, convinced that it is all down to her fabulous parenting skills and is constantly criticising other mums (not to their faces) because they are obviously just doing it 'wrong' and their babies would be fine if she had anything to do with it. I really, really want her next one to be a child from hell just to wipe the smug grin off her face!!

Having said all that, I'm expecting dc3 in Dec and as ds and dd were pretty chilled out, I'm terrified that I am also going to get my come uppance!! Especially wrt my evil thoughts about my cousin!!! Half the people I know with 3 say the 3rd just brought themselves up, the other half say their 3rd was a total nightmare.

Contraception is the answer I think .

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I am shocked how incredibly judgemental some parents are though .

One of my dear friends has a very placid easy 2 year old and I often go out with her with my ds (also 2). Ds is lively, smiley, shouty, cuddly and still eats the crayons (this is not a joke - I stupidly gave him a crayon and paper in the PUSHCHAIR the other day and 2 mins later was given back half - the rest he had eaten [grin}).

Her dd is more serious reserved and sits nicely a lot doing colouring. I can tell my friend thinks I am doing it wrong - especially when ds was the only child (among about 15) the other day who was banging a toy VERY LOUDLY on a table repeatedly. (I did stop him by the way)

The problem is though that we are both 41 so are unlikely to have any more so she will pretty much always belive she has it right and I have it wrong (until they get to be teenagers anyway - emoticon)

I don't mind though - ds is just so much fun as I watch him running and singing to himself as he waves his arms around - for that I'll put up with the downside of other mothers thinking I'm doing it wrong.

My first dd was such a challenge (she still is, especially this morning at 5.10am ). Not only has her behaviour been a challenge, but also the attitudes of others who seem to think that their one single peice of unasked for advice will solve all our problems. Along came dd2, who is such an easy going baby and such a reassurance for our parenting abilities.

Know what you mean about the names LTH. DS1,2 and 3 have two middle names so by the time DS4 came along we'd used 9 names. The only two family names we hadn't used were Les and Ron! We didn't use them this time either.
DS2 was, and still is my tricky one. DS3 was a perfect baby but a terrible terrible 2 year old.

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if my one-and-only ds is one of the erm, "challenging" ones

do i have good odds of one of these perfect ones next d'ya reckon? [pleading emoticon]

i was pretty smug w ds1 and ds2 put me/us firmly in our place. so was ready for anything w ds3 who seems pretty alright to me...

mind you, they are all still technically babies (oldest is 3, youngest 9months) so i guess commenting yet is a bit premature.

and its all a bit of a blur really too, if im honest... its not so much that this one or that one is easy/difficult, its how the whole pack behaves as a unit that you have to watch out for

good luck trinity

yes Fio. definately. go on, i dare you

so, if my two children are quiet and generally well behaved and polite does that make me a smug mother? Are you telling me that all the effort I have put in to bringing them up was pointless?
I am pg with no 3 and sincerely hope that he/she will be a good sleeper and nicely behaved when older. And just as I take credit for their good behaviour I also feel some responsibility for their bad moments.

You see, I am a smug mother. Please don't disabuse me!

What I really love is when SMOGs (smug mothers of only girls) have a boy and realise that mothers of boys weren't just making excuses when they say boys tend to be livelier. It's not a bad thing - but it is different.

Should I expect my comeupance this time around then?