Sleep consultant

[Babytalkobsession]

After 14 months with little progress the time has come...I'm prepared to pay good money to get myself some sleep. I literally can't take anymore, to the point of getting ill / negative thoughts.

So, any recommendations for a good sleep consultant? We're in the South West but looks like most do a telephone / Skype service.

Please help me get my sanity back

Just thought, if I get any replies at this ungodly hour I won't be trusting your recommendation!

Had to check this thread in case there were any recommendations! DD has been up for two hours and counting! Yawn!

Where in the SW are you? I used Ellen from Night Nannies who are in the Bristol/Bath area. She was fantastic & saved my sanity!

Sorry, meant to include link. Here it is.

Mine was called Nicola from childsleepsolutions.com (or co.uk, I can't remember which) and she was brilliant.

A two hour phone call for £75 and she gave me my life and my sanity back.

I second ellen at nightnannies, she was fantastic. She gave so many tips and was happy giving multiple medications too. She felt very safe, we were happy leaving our lo with her, she was very reassuring from day one. She was based in bath when she came to us, it worked out at about £135 per night but was so worth it! We handed lo over and had the best nights sleep when she was here. She is worth millions!

Thank you! Just sent a message to Nicola at Childsleepsolutions as that seems more what we're looking for for now. We're in Exeter so doesn't look like Night Nannies cover us. Shame, a whole night off would be utter bliss.

I'll report back how we get on, fingers crossed for some sleep tonight sweetsorrow zzzz...

Thanks so much for your replies

I've PMed you contact details for another person. I hope it goes well and you get some sleep soon!

Ive been in touch with www.lovemornings.com and though haven't used them yet, have found them very professional and pleasant

Millpond do home visits ( a friend of a friend used them and it worked very well - they will use whichever method aligns with the parents' views).

But Millpond say that a home visit is a last resort - their main thing is their book (the Kindle version is just a few pounds) which gives really detailed advice on dealing with all sorts of sleep problems in various different ways (both no-cry solutions and CC) . I found it really useful when I cracked at 14 months and did (very gentle) CC. I was on the point of getting a sleep consultant, but didn't need to in the end.

I was really against CC until I just couldn't carry on. It ended up being much less painful than I expected (less than 5 minutes total crying per settle, which we had to do a few times per night for 3-4 nights. Blimey, when I write it down, it makes me wonder why I waited and suffered for so long before doing it! But I never wanted to leave my DD to cry at all. I know that CC isn't so easy for all children though )

If you do decide to go that route, my brief summary would be:

1. Read the millpond book!
2. You can go up in any size increments (we started at 1 minute, and went up 30 seconds at a time), but you MUST go up each time
3. No physical contact when you go in. Just use your voice.
4. If they don't calm within a couple of minutes of going in, leave again anyway
5. 14 months is a good time to do sleep training developmentally (see 'bed timing'), and it is REALLY, REALLY worth getting it working. The child is happier when they have had a good night's sleep, and you are a better parent. It's brief, and genuinely doesn't harm them.

I used Sian at sleep babies. All done by Skype as we are overseas. But very effective - basically transformed our lives. It's gradual retreat, not cc, which appealed to us.

This is so interesting that sleep consultants worked for you. Can I ask what they advise you to do? So say baby goes down ok but then starts crying at 2am. What do you do?
I would go in, pick LO up (is this where I'm going wrong?!) and try and calm in my arms before putting back down. As soon as LO hits the matress again though the crying starts. what's their method?

Well me and DH used CC so when DS got upset we'd leave him for two minutes before going into him. He would always be standing up in his cot so what we had to do was pick him up at arms length, I.e not bring him in for a cuddle, say to him, "it's bedtime DS", kiss him on the cheek, lie him back down and leave the room. We'd then repeat that process leaving longer time scales between when we went in to him. The process involves leaving him for 2 minutes then 4 minutes then 8 minutes. I would never leave him longer than 8 minutes.

The consultant told me that picking them up and cuddling them can make things worse as every time you soothe them by cuddles the minute you put them back in the cot they start crying with anger because you've put them down again. She said that by not picking them up in the first place you are avoiding that problem.

Thanks writerwannabee83, how old is your LO can I ask? Boy or girl not that that makes a difference sleep wise I'm sure! :-)
Does the sleep consultant just ask the issue on the phone and ask you about a typical night and then advise you what to do the following night? How many nights do they say try it for?

DS was 9 months when I sought out advice because we had a multitude of problems and I couldn't cope anymore. I was in a very low place.

I emailed her and she emailed me back a few hours later asking for a general overview of my problems and then telling me about the services she offered. I opted to go for the basic package which was £75 for a 2hr phone call consultation.

Prior to our phone call she emailed me a questionnaire with about twenty question all about DS's current routine, including naps, bedtime, his meals and his feeds. It asked about his personality, his behaviours, what type of parents DH and I were and what we had already tried to address our problems. It was very in depth. I then emailed it back to her so she could formulate a strategy prior to our phone call.

When she called we actually spoke for 2.5 hours and she was wonderful. We spoke more about DS's problems and she went through all the different forms of sleep training and decided together which approach we thought would work best. Once we had done this she discussed it in more detail and made it very specific to my DS as opposed to formulating a generalised plan. She completely restructured his day, changed all his meal and feed times, told me when to put him down got naps, gave me very specific instructions on a bedtime routine and his nap routine and explained all the rationale behind everything she was telling me to to. She spoke a lot about sleep cycles, behaviour shaping, learned responses to sleeping cues, the importance of a set routine etc, she was so knowledgable and thorough.

Anyway, I stuck to her plan and followed it to the letter and within 2-3 days we had a completely different baby.

The change in him was phenomenal and after months and months of going through hell with his sleep I couldn't believe the changes that were taking place.

It's been about eight weeks now since we enlisted her help and I am still amazed at how things changed so dramatically. DS sleeps from 7pm-6am every night and has two set naps a day (each usually 1hr 15m long) and he is so much happier. As am I!!

Good luck with finding someone n it's worth doing when you are in a place to commit to any strategy suggested.

I have baby number 2 who is 11weeks old my older one is 4 n I totally appreciate how hard sleepless nights are looking after my own is so different to working nights. My 4yr old slept through from 15weeks exc bf but number 2 is showing little sign of doing this.

Thanks writerwannabe that's really good to know. I get the method she proposes for first putting them down and getting them off to sleep at night but what did she suggest should they wake in the night? So say you use the 2 minute, 4 minute, 8 minute method and then they fall asleep at 8pm but then they wake at say midnight crying? What are you supposed to do then?

The exact same thing. Go in after 2, then 4, then 8 minutes and repeat until they go back to sleep. The actions taken are the same whatever time of night the baby wakes.

Thanks writerwannabe I'm going to give it a try :-)

Hi we used Sian Thomas at SleepBabies, we had a home visit but she does offer Skype consultations. Absolutely wonderful such a lovely lady and he has now slept through for months (except illness) Good Luck

We used Andrea Grace, dd was a truly horrendous sleeper and now sleeps for around 11-11.5 hrs a night. Well worth £275!