6yr old getting frustrated with her teacher.

[caleyhighlander]

Hi, I am new to this forum and come with an issue that my 6yr old has with her school teacher.

She has trouble fastening her coat and usually loses patience and asks me or teacher to fasten it for her.

I do help her fasten it but teacher doesn't, he says to her "if you give it a try first and if you can't do it then I'll help you" but dd just gets frustrated and says to teacher "I can't do it" and then starts to cry.

So, should teacher just help her instead of asking her to try it herself first or is he right and dd wrong?

Nothing wrong with asking her to have a go. Is there any chance you could buy her a coat that's easier to do up though?

She struggles with all zips though plus its the school uniform waterproof supplied as part of the school uniform.

I am working with her on learning how to zip a coat but its a slow process.

Of course she should be asked to try first! Perhaps it would help to work on her ability to deal with frustration at the same time as learning to zip?

Yep I would ask her to try first too! Remember the teacher has 30 children to get ready at break /lunch once shes had a go he can help once everyone is out.

Can you attach a little key ring/ charm type thing to the zip to hep pull it up. Then work on her getting the zip "catch". She'll need to practice, practice, practice and oil the zip. She has my sympathies, zips frustrate me.

The teacher is right and your dd is wrong.

I teach nursery (3 and 4 year olds) and even at that age, we encourage the children to have a go at putting their coats on before they come and ask us. We also teach them to ask their friends to help by holding their coat behind them for them to slip their arms into.

At 6 I would definitely expect children to have a go first before asking for help. If the zip is stiff, I think there's a trick to do with rubbing a candle on the zip to help it run more smoothly. Would that help?

Your dd sounds like she needs some help to deal with her frustration in more effective ways. Perhaps you could do some role play with her, or give her more opportunities to work at different things she finds difficult so that she builds up a little more resilience. Learning a musical instrument is very good for this.

The teacher is right - it's not as if he/she is refusing to help, they are asking the child to have a go first.

Imagine 30+ pupils all standing and waiting for one person to zip up their coats!

You can help by encouraging her to have a go instead of doing it for her.

Zips can be hard.

I have to make sure that DS (7) is looking at what he's doing as he will try to do it without looking which of course gets him no-where!

So when he's stressing about not being able to do it (while looking into the distance or at me defiantly!) I ask him to let go, calm down, take the pieces in his hands and look at what he's doing, make sure that the zip bit is all the way at the bottom etc and then lots of praise.

Good luck!

Of course the teacher is right! She'll never learn if she doesn't try.

Learning to persevere when a task is hard is also important, more so than learning to do up a zip in fact. Ds2 (6) is learning to tie his laces at the moment. Plenty of tears over that one I can assure you but he is perfecting the art of tying a bow whilst sobbing with frustration.

Oooh more CoatGate!!

Just get her to practise - she'll get there. Yes it's hard, but that's life. she must learn to do things for herself and know how to cope when she can't do it first time.

The teacher isn't her wardrobe assistant.