Hi everyone, although I'm new I've been rowing the forum for some time now, so know how easily people are jumped on and misunderstood. Now before I explain the situation i'd just like to say yes, I chose to have children and yes, I know they are my responsibility and that I shouldn't juat automatically expect help but this isn't the case here.
Anyway from the beginning. I'm married, have three wonderful children, a boy age almost 12, a girl age almost 9 and a boy just turned 4. Me and my husband had our first child young ( well me anyway lol ) and from day one we have been independent, not relying on anyone for anything except for one night out a year for birthday/annicersary. I absolutely adore all my children as you'd expect but my eldest two were what you'd call "model children" ie they fed, slept, potty trained like a dream, they were both very easy going happy children. So as they were so "easy" to care for like I said we had occasional offers of help from my parents, as well as oh parents but they are a lot older than my parents do don't like to put on them to much.
Well it turns out my youngest Ds has autism/add, he has recently been diagnosed after two long long years where me and my Dh have struggled like you wouldn't believe. we have been and still are trying to see the positives in everything so not to make our children upset but it's so hard. We get absolutely no time together except maybe the odd hour hear and there of a night, well that's only if Ds goes down to sleep ok. We don't have proper nights out or go to the cinema occasionally or even out for a bit of tea, our whole lives are our children and although to a certain degree it should be, I'm now starting to feel resentment for not being able to enjoy even an evening once a month with my husband I love dearly, and unfortunately I know exactly where and to whom I'm feeling resentment towards, my parents!
Don't get me wrong they love our kids but there idea of showing them how much they love them is to spoil them with toys and sweets every week (well maybe not every week). They come once a week to see them but you can always tell they at itching to go by the end. I wouldn't say I'm extremely close to my parents so don't tell them absolutely everything but they know how much we and my Dh and out family as a whole have been struggling due to our sons behaviour, meltdowns etc yet they do nothing.
I don't expect them to babysit week or even every other week whilst me and my Dh go out on the town getting drunk but I feel sad and angry that they won't help out once in a while. I see all my friends get regularly and quite extensive help with their children off their parents and can't help feel envious. And the ironic thing is that when me and my sisters were little my parents went out almost every Friday and Saturday night and we were sent to either set of grandparents over night. Don't get me wrong this I loved as I adored my grandparents BUT my parents had help regulary. So why when me and my Dh are on our knees at the minute and have spent the last two years struggling to come to terms with how much our lives have and are going to change, ( and our sons ) will they not help us?