Sharing bedrooms - will it work with a 4yo girl and 2yo boy?

[Skara]

Thought I'd consult the oracle as we just can't work this one out ourselves. DD is just 4, ds is just 2. Would it work putting them in together? She seems to like the idea but dh is concerned that she won't have her own space. We've talked it round and round in circles and really don't know if it'd work. The plan would be then to have a study/spare room and a nursery for the baby - would it be better to plan for the baby and 2yo to share? All suggestions would be grovellingly accepted as we just don't know what to do

MY two used to have separate rooms. But one room got too much damp in so i moved my ds who is 4 in with my daughter who is 5, the first night they mucked about abit but after that they are quite good. It keeps them company aand i think its nice. But on the downside my ds keeps messing her room up, and she gets annoyed about that and he also wakes her up everymorning. so soon i think he will have to move back to his own room, luckily we have a four bedroomed house. so we can do that. Why don't you just try it for a few nights to see what happens and if it doesn';t work out move the 2yo back.? just a thought.

I shared with my db for years and it was fine. Sorry if i am a bit thick but are you PG or if not what is the sex of the baby? Could you put them in together for a while and see if it works? Could you divide the room at all so they both have their own space? My baby will have to share with ds later on but if I could I would love to have a spare room.

I presume dd and ds have always had their own rooms, their own space, and their own stuff? 4 yr-olds don't 'need their own space', but if she has been used to it you might have a battle on your hands. May be easier to put the baby in with ds.

(Our two boys are 22 months apart, and have shared a room since ds2 was 6 wks old). They've never really known any different, and seem to like it. (Ds2 is 5 next month!)

oops, sorry yes I am pg! Forgot that bit, also that we are talking hypothetically at the mo as we're trying to work out what to do when we move house shortly. I don't have to worry too much about who wakes whom as they both wake up at around the same time every morning naturally and they're as bad as each other for mess (ie take after me and make a lot of it!).

We've done it both ways, Skara - dd2 aged 5ish and ds1 aged 2ish shared for a while, then dd2 moved in with dd1 and ds2 shared with ds1, can't remember ages but it all worked OK most of the time.

You could start out with dd and ds in together while the baby is tiny and see how it goes after that. If the baby is a girl you either could put the girls together later or the 2 younger ones - if the baby's a boy then put the boys together. The possibilities are endless!

Or they could each have a room and you could put a sofabed in the biggest room to be a guest bed, doubling the kids up only when you needed to (so long as you have a good place for the essential PC!)

Roisin, I agree with you that 4yos don't need their own space :-) DH's view is I think coloured by having shared a room from age 6 till 14 whereas we'd be moving them long before that age! They don't really have their own stuff either - we've always just had a free-for-all when it comes to toys but I don't know if that naturally alters as they get older?

My ds1 and dd share and have done since he was 4.5 and she was 2.5, about 10 months now, and it's worked really well. It's quite a big room and it does have a natural barrier about half way in the form of a chimney stack, so they nominally have their own area, but I'd say it's done wonders for how they get on. They used to wake each other sometimes, but it doesn't seem to happen now: the novelty's worn off. I think it's improved their closeness and ability to share (never great, I admit). We'll swap it around when the baby (now 14 mos) is a bit older, though not sure which way. I say do it, you might be surprised at how good it is for them!

good typing bt

Good point about the crying Beetroot, especially as ds is a good - but light - sleeper. And sofabed idea is brilliant Janh,
I know it might seem an odd question, it's just I haven't a clue what happens to children when they get older - I mean I don't know if my lovely little 4yo is going to turn into a 7 year old Kevin the teenager . I have NO experience with bigger children and think I'm having a pg hormone related crisis of parenting confidence!

We have 4 bedrooms 2dd 7&8 2ds 5& 12 and its basically musical bedrooms.ideally we want girls to share as closer in age but ds 5 is adamant he wants to share room & sleeps much better if he does. We keep pointing out benefits of own room etc etc and poor dd 8 would love to be by herself.I now want 5 bed house so problem resolved and there can be no more arguements but that aint going to happen just yet- by the time we can afford it the oldest will be at uni & we won't need it anymore.I do agree that sharing a room is a positive experience and encourages closeness and a necessity to get on with each other. Although dd8 feels embarassed about it because she has lots of friends who are only children with beautiful bedrooms(who I suppose would love to get the chance to share a room).

i have a 4yo boy and a 2yo girl and it works fine. they have bunk beds. i wouldn't put baby in with the 2yo otherwise when baby wakes up, so will the 2yo...double trouble at night!!!! our 10 week old baby sleeps in with us at the moment but when he is a bit older and sleeps better, he will share a room with my 4yo ds1 and dd will have her own room. but for now its working, and the 2 eldest actually love each others company. the 2yo doesn't fret as much if she wakes in the night as she knows herbig brother is there with her.

We have dd (almost 3) and DS2 (just 1) in the same room, mainly because DS1 always had the baby (ie tiny) room and was (is) quite attached to it; DD then arrived and we did the big 2nd room as her room/their playroom (lots of big toys in there), then naturally put the baby in there once he was out of our room (saved movign the cot apart from anythign else!). Good point about baby waking siblings, tho have to say that DD and DS1 both slept through some grim nights of controlled crying when DS2 was 7-8months, but then they are both very good superstar sleepers. Think it's good for DD to view the room as not particularly HERS iykwim as apart from anything else it's where children play when they come round (garage, train set, dressing up stuff is all there). But we may chop and change when they get older (or even get an extension ho ho ho...now why isn't there a MN thread on extending your house? everyone I know seems to be doing it!)

We have dd (almost 3) and DS2 (just 1) in the same room, mainly because DS1 always had the baby (ie tiny) room and was (is) quite attached to it; DD then arrived and we did the big 2nd room as her room/their playroom (lots of big toys in there), then naturally put the baby in there once he was out of our room (saved movign the cot apart from anythign else!). Good point about baby waking siblings, tho have to say that DD and DS1 both slept through some grim nights of controlled crying when DS2 was 7-8months, but then they are both very good superstar sleepers. Think it's good for DD to view the room as not particularly HERS iykwim as apart from anything else it's where children play when they come round (garage, train set, dressing up stuff is all there). But we may chop and change when they get older (or even get an extension ho ho ho...now why isn't there a MN thread on extending your house? everyone I know seems to be doing it!)

durr, sorry about that, there's something wrong with my network server so I seem to either post twice or not at all!

durr, sorry about that, there's something wrong with my network server so I seem to either post twice or not at all!

thanks everyone, think dh and I can sit down this weekend and discuss it now I know the general opinion is that it is A Good Thing. I have this vision in my head of my two lovely offspring in there, with patchwork quilts and very 1950s bedroom-ness with stripped white painted wooden floor and rag rugs (suspect that my pregnancy nesting instinct may be going off at a tangent, given that th reality of our new house is 1970s horrorcarpets, vile wallpaper and monstrous curtains ) And Clary, we'll have to start the thread on extending at some point cos that's what we're going to do - giving everyone a bedroom of their own and us a study, probably in 3/4 years time...I quake at the thought of the disruption even now!