Finding it all a bit sh*t right now :(

[Taler]

We waited 3 years for our DD. I remind myself of this fact when I'm having a tough day, like today.

She's 14 months and is really starting to have paddies now when she doesn't get her way or if she can't do something. I know it's all "normal" behaviour but until recently we've been used to a really happy, contented little baba but more recently she gets grouchy far too easily. Today she has been grisly pretty much all day.

In fairness I think she is also teething but it's not all down to that.

I am just finding that I seem to have less and less patience and I SO don't want to be that way. When I can be rational I KNOW how lucky I am. Firstly to even be a mum as at once point I was facing life with the prospect of not being able to have children. But also because she has always been this really contented baby and that if she has an 'off day' I should be able to handle it better than I do.

I would really appreciate some advice/tips on how you other mums deal with your toddlers who are grumpy and when they are so clingy too.

I try distraction all the time. Sometimes it's works. Also days like today she has had her dummy more or less the whole time. I know you don't see any 20 year olds walking round with a dummy but until recently she'd never been dependent on it but now she is much more. Part of me wants to gratefully hug the person who invented the dummy but the other part of me really doesn't like that it's sometimes the only thing that'll work.

It's been a really tough day and I guess I'm just wanting to offload

Really quick reply (sorry) but I so remember these feelings of when thing start getting tougher, and you worry that you're doing things wrong and it's all too hard. Don't stress about the dummy, our dd had hers until she was 3.5 and she's absolutely fine! Just try to go easy on yourself, try not to worry too much, and make the best of the good times and know things will get easier!

It's so hard when they start having these sort of early tantrums. So be kind to yourself.

Firstly, the dummy - don't stress. She's young. It's very easy to get caught up on the idea that you should drop dummies, bottles etc about 1 but that's not always real life. Let her have it at the moment. There's a high chance that in a little while things will be calmer and you can broach the dummy then.

I found that it was a learning curve, slowly trying to work out what they are having a paddy about. At 14m she probably doesn't know herself. When she starts to cry, stop for 10 seconds or so and try and work out what might be upsetting her. As they move into toddlerdom, some tantrums are understandable and there are ways out of them.

But none of that can stop you when you get wound up. We all do at times. Stop: take a big deep breath. Close your eyes and breath in and calm your shoulders. They are children, and children are here to keep us on our toes

The biggest thing is that it doesn't matter how long you waited to conceive your DD. Don't let that stress you more. She is just doing what most children do, and you're just doing what most parents do at one stage.

It's all normal. I found that there would be a few weeks where something would seem disastrous - sleep, food, tantrums - and then very suddenly it would calm down and everything would be ok. "This too will pass" is a cliched phrase but it is generally true. This might be a tiring few weeks, but it will calm down.

This is the first time I've felt a bit better today having read that! Thank u

Don't put extra pressure on yourself for how long you waited for her. We ttc for 2 years with ivf and of course i'm so thankful for ds but it doesn't mean he's any easier to parent that if we'd had him straight away! harder if anything what with me being an older bird than I had planned

I tend to think of everything in phases with LOs, this phase won't last, roll with it - get through it - you'll have your lovely DD back before you know it, nothing lasts. though - everyone struggles at points x

No advice I'm afraid op (I'm clueless!) but you have my sympathies. DS has always been a very chilled out little guy but is becoming increasingly toddler-like (he's 13 months). Today we had our first public tantrum. In the bloody library. He'd just got a certificate for being a good book start member(oh the irony!), we picked some books, checked them out and I said it was time to go. He screamed the place down, red in the face flailing his arms. He went all stiff when i tried to get him in his buggy and the whole display was horrible. There was this poor woman using the computers who was on the phone about a job at the time and it must have sounded like a zoo. I don't know why I thought my pfb would simply pass over the tantrum phase but I thought it was meant to be terrible twos???? I'm also very embarrassed that I was so flustered, I probably looked like an idiot. I'm still sort of hoping it's a short phase due to teething .

Exactly the same thing here.... Down to DD having dummy more. She's 17months so slightly older. Tantrum at playgroup today threw herself back on the floor when I tried to stop her from escaping out the door.
Some days she is a delight, some days she is really hard work. Found her much more easy going up to about 13 months.
Not much advice to offer but just wanted to say I'm in exactly the same position with my DD

what worked in the past when clingy was putting her in a carrier. I couldn't always do things round the house (and god knows it was always when tea needed preparing and she hates me standing still when she's being worn on my back) but for things like hoovering and picking up it was perfect handsfree closeness for her and meant I could crack on with stuff. If possible I would take her for a walk, even just 5 minutes to the end of the road and back, just to reset the woe!

At the moment if we are home, she will be all over my legs so I aim to spend at least 20 mins just doing something purely with her: playing outside, reading a book, sitting with her while she plays, or getting her to help with laundry (putting clothes in or pulling out of machine, handing me clothes to hang on line, snapping up nappies together) and she often does off and plays after we have had that 'contact'.

I hear you on the facing prospect of life without kids (been there too) and feeling lucky and I personally think that just makes us feel worse having that sense of 'should be more grateful'. Hard days are hard days without extra guilts, and we're all blessed with these funny little people especially when they're sleeping happily and peacefully

Wouldn't worry about the dummy (but then DD didn't use one), my friends 22 month old still has his. It sounds like it works for your DD right now, so I would just go with it!