the pressure of mummy reliance/preference

[guinnessgirl]

Yet another horrible bedtime for DS (4) where he fought everything and left both me and DH at our wits'end, all because it was daddy's turn to do bedtime and not mummy's.

Does anyone else find the sheer relentlessness of their child's preference for mummy to do everything totally exhausting and stressful? What do you do when you just feel like walking out of the house to escape the perpetual neediness and refusal to allow dads to do their share? Parents of older children, does this ever wear off?

I'm trying to get dh to do lots of things as it's starting to crop up here at 4 months.
Daddy will be "tolerated" if he's playing, changing, bathing or has some expressed milk. But once the task is done, she demands me.
I know she'd be fine if I wasn't in but that there would be constant grizzling if not full on tears.

Yes it's exhausting. My DH broke his right hand in early December which meant that I had to do everything for DD (now 14 months) for 8 weeks. He couldn't even lift her. Now he's out of plaster she's still insisting on me doing everything. I'm shattered. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and had to do everything while suffering with awful morning sickness and I thought id get a bit of a rest now he's on the mend, but no luck

My ds is 4 and prefers me but dh and I have been quite firm (most of the time) about daddy doing things too. This has meant that I have had to sit back and let dh deal with the tantrum or resistance his own way. It felt like we were breaking his heart and killing his spirit but it turns out that wasn't the case. He still prefers me but will happily go with dh too now.
Of course all children are different so thus may just be a phase, for both of ours!

We had this, it was so so difficult and exhausting for me - and I really resented how my husband would give in and come and get me.
While dh had always been reasonably hands on I spent more time with her than her did.
We had a breakthrough when dd was nearly 5 and in her first term at school dh, due to having spare leave, took half term off and looked after her for the whole week.
This massively improved their relationship and we have had far less favourite parent since.
Good luvk
Katy

If DS wants me to do everything with him for a while I just get on with it, and DH takes on more household jobs to balance it out. It always swings back the other way at some point and DH will end up doing everything while I do the housework, I honestly don't see the point in letting DS tantrum over something so insignificant?

DD had a day with DH a couple of weeks ago and it appears he was fun enough to break the Mummy phase she was in. Is that an option?

Does it ever wear off?

I don't know . DD had a dental appointment today and she had a stop because her dad was going to take her instead of me.

She's 15

They stop throwing tantrums about it, but I still get the big sad eyes from both DC if I say that DH is picking them up/ dropping them off or that I will be away. It's inevitable because I travel more for work than DH does at the moment but it's still wearing and depressinng , although I do wonder if I unconsciously encourage it somehow because I like them to need me. They are 12 and 8.

Daddy has taken him out for pizza tonight with dad's mates. Bliss. We have found that them having fun games that mummy doesn't like (things like pillow fights, daft physical stuff, bath time with water everywhere) and nights out or morning excursions with daddy(I am a big advocate of this one ;)) really help limit this. If he is given the choice, he always chooses me at night, but he doesn't complain like he did at 1 and 2 since whe has done more alone with daddy. He is 3 now.