How long to try settling in at nursery?

[icedgem30]

Hi everyone.
My dd (2y6m) has just started going to nursery 9-12 this week. She had two taster sessions which she loved, the first day was fantastic and she was so happy. Then on tuesday, wednesday and today it all changed and she started screaming and crying when she was dropped off.

If I knew that she was fine after I'd gone and she had calmed down I would be fine but she doesn't she cries throughout the day. It's breaking my heart for three hours knowing shes crying and i'm not there.

I want to pull her out but DP says she will get used to it, and says it will be good for her to play with other children. I can't deal with knowing how upset she is and leaving her there. Can anyone advise how long I should give it before I look to taking her out? Thanks

Took us a whole term with dc2 dc1 half term. It's just something that improves with time. Pulling her out won't help at all. It's hard no denying it but once they settle it's great x

Thanks :)
I know it won't help, I just come home about 9.20 and worry endlessly until I pick her up at 12 because I know she's upset that I can't get anything done etc.

I've spoken to her key worker who also told me not to pull her out and that she will be fine. Friday she was fine all day apart from when I dropped her off when she roared.

Just worried now she has had a weekend at home that today is going to be even worse. Really hope she does settle but ill give it a while longer x

Change is not easy even for a grown up! Give her some time.

I will .
doesn't help that other family members point out she clearly hates it and I feel awful for making her go. But I will definitely give it more time.

I could hear my daughter from the car park. She was really hard to settle but we just kept going and now she trots in no bother. It's worse for you x

Thanks. I feel really awful leaving her to cry and knowing she does cry through the day makes it so much worse. Today they said she had more good than bad, just a few tearful moments, just don't know how I'm meant to stop worrying for the three hours. Hard isn't it :(

With my 1st I cleaned the whole time . My second Im more chilled . I relax more x

I'd give it a week. If she still doesn't like it, and you don't need her to go, then stop and try again in September.

Depends if you really need her to go or not. How often is she going?

My son wasn't really ready when we tried him at 2.6 months, fast forward to three and a bit and he was fine and actively looks forward to going.

If you can wait 6 mths it might save a lot of heartache all round. They do grow out of their anxiety about separating, once they are mature enough to understand time and the concept that you will always come back. If she's your first then you/your DP don't yet have experience of how they change and mature as they get towards 3/3.5. But they do.

I would go with your instinct. Yes she will settle eventually, but it might take a while of her being v distressed. If you can, why not just leave it till she is old enough to separate from you happily?

IMO if they are not yet comfortable with that then they are not really yet of the age that they "need" to play with other children and so on. Presumably she doesnt start school till at least Sept 2016. You have a long time yet!

There is a range with children - my eldest started at 2.5 and was totally happy with it from day 1. Never a cry or a backward glance. My youngest started at 2.6 and never really settled, although he never howled all the time and could be "persuaded" to go with the promise of a treat at the end of it. Still he never really bonded with the staff or showed any enthusiasm so we moved him earlier this month to a new setting which is quieter and which he loves. He's now 3.3 and actively looks fwd to going.

Trust your instinct.

She is going 9-12 Monday to Friday. I will be starting a new job soon hence why I put her in now hoping that by the time I do start I would have got the worst out the way iyswim.

Today was fine, DP dropped her off and she wandered off in on her own, I picked her up and the lad there said she had been fine, and she gave me a picture she had coloured in. Feeling much more positive now.

The thing is she is always happy when I pick her up she says she wants to back etc she says see you tomorrow to the staff so I do think she likes being there.

Key worker assured me she will be fine, I will stick with it for this week and think about it. Thanks everyone for your help :)