Settles at night for dh but not for me

[Hegoethdown]

14 month old ds sleeps through or with just one quick wake up when dh puts him to bed but when I do he wakes throughout the evening and I struggle to settle him back in his cot- he wants to be in our bed! Anyone else experienced similar?

Do you do bed time differently?

No don't think so. Wondered if it was some separation anxiety type thing?

If it was separation anxiety it would be there all the time, no matter who put your DS to bed.

Children can easily tell if one parent will 'give in' easily and give them what they want - ie to sleep in Mum and Dads bed.

We have similar with all our children, but the other way around. If our (older) children wake in the night and walk into our room - they always go to DH side of the bed. Why? Because DH opens the duvet and lets them get in. Then complains and gets very grumpy about it in the morning. Whereas if they come to my side of the bed, they know I will instantly turn them around and walk them back to their own bed.

DGH grumbles, why is it always him who has the disturbed night with children on his side of the bed. Why can't they go on my side for a change. He knows full well why.

I could give a similar example with whining. Child asks dad something, he says no, they whine and winge and keep going on and on about it - until he gives in and gives them whatever it is. They come to Mum and ask the same thing, I say no. They ask again they get told off and sent to their room.

DH asks why he gets all the whining yet the children immediately accept no from me. I don't ever give in

It might be, but maybe its just more that you 'respond' more.

Is it a recent thing and without fail?

Either way, jut have eh put him to bed from now on :) maybe watch what he does, to see if it is different

It's the same thing in our house recently. Dd has been going through a patch of not wanting to go to bed, screaming at the mere mention of bedtime and waking up crying in the night.
I have been able to settle her just fine upon going to bed - giving her a cuddle, telling her I'll stay a while, giving her a kiss, then telling her that I need a wee or a cup of tea or to go sort out ds and that I'll come back and give her a kiss. She accepts that and is fine. I try it in the middle of the night and it just results in screaming. Dh, however, says exactly the same thing (I've heard him), leaves the room and she goes to sleep! I told him that he must have some sort of magic wand and that it's his job to settle for during the night. I'll do bedtime instead.
I have no advice or suggestions; I just wanted to say that it's not just you and that I know how frustrating, perhaps upsetting, it is when they won't settle for you but will for someone else.

Thanks all! I do about 90% of bedtimes and night wakings as dh works shifts so can't change that. He goes to bed for both of us without a problem but the way the rest of the night goes does seem to depend on who's put him down. I do give in and bring him into our bed but I work too so don't have the energy to be firm! And is he really old enough at 14 months to be so aware/ manipulative??

is he really old enough at 14 months to be so aware/ manipulative??

Does his Dad bring him into your bed?

It's not manipulation, it's more like being trained to do something/forming a habit. And yes 14 months plenty old. I recall hearing our 8 month old cry in her room, dh went to her, she apparently looked at him, looked disgusted and rolled back over to sleep (no point crying as the non-milky one has come).