3mo hates bedtime

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He settles fine for naps, and feeds well. However when it comes to 7pm he just cant cope. He usually wakes from his last nap at 5.30, and today he last fed at 3pm. He refused milk at sixish, tried again at seven in an attempt to get him back to sleep, and he has been crying since 7.

Last night it was til 9.

He is with DH or I and being cuddled/comforted at all times, I wouldnt leave him in this state, but I just dont understand. Its been at least a week of him not settling at this time of day. It doesnt seem to make a difference if we try and put him down in the living room with us or the bedroom, with one of us turning in early.

Surely after a 1.5/2 hr awake period and four hours without milk, he should want sleep and food!? I feel utterly helpless.

Help!

Is he overtired by then? My two struggled with a 7pm bedtime at that age; DS in particular would go down for the night between 5:30 and 6 (5:10 was the earliest!)

I dont think he is over tired - he is happy and alert after waking from his teatime nap, and no eye rubbing etc in the interim. He eventually fed and then cried again. DH paced the floor with him til he zonked on his shoulder.

Is he happy to not sleep just sit and watch?

At that age/ time, dh and I would just be prepping dinner, so would pop ds's in a sling and just get on with dinner prep/ then eat whilst they just watched from sling/ sat on our laps. Occasionally they would fall asleep during this time. Otherwise we would settle for sleep in living room with us around 9pm

So basically they liked being with us, but not particularly doing anything or being fussed over at that time.

Maybe feed at 5.30pm again when he wakes, then just let him sit on one of your laps/ in sling whilst you get on and do other stuff

No, Art, he just cries and wont settle on us/in chair/on mat. He hates the sling anyways.

He has woken crying every 15 mins this evening since falling asleep on dh at 8.

he might be constipated or something like that. sometimes there is no real reason! you just have to comfort them and they always fall asleep eventually.

Are you breast or bottle feeding?

My DD (nearly 4 months) doesn't usually go longer than 2 hours between daytime feeds. So if she was fed at 3pm she would want another full feed at 5pm.

If you are breastfeeding, it could be boob rage because let down is not fast enough when baby is very hungry. The answer would be to feed earlier.

It does sound to me like over tired and over hungry causing anger and frustration.

Yes mine would feed every 2 hrs also. 4 hrs would be way too long

Can you try feeding every 2 hours tomorrow and see if it helps?

He is formula feeding. He is an odd one with his feeds - he woke at 7am this.morning and was totally disinterested in his bottle til at least 8, I expected him to wake and be hungry (he has slept from 9the previous night).

I always offer milk when he is grizzly or gnawing on his hands etc, so its rarely a full three hpurs between feeds. He fed at 3pm today and I offered him milk at 5.30 and he wouldnt entertain it.

My DD also never wants a feed when she wakes in the morning, it's usually 30-60 minutes later.

How do you get your DS to sleep? I know my DD would refuse a feed and start screaming if she got herself into an overtired rage. Milk will get her sleepy as long as I time it right. If she is over tried then a feed will not help get her to sleep.

Could your DS have got to the stage where he was over tried and just wanted to sleep.

Do you use, have you tried a dummy?

He wont entertain a dummy, dd had one so we assumed he would too, but a good few weeks of trying and he would just gag on it. Found one yesterday so gave it a try last night and no joy.

Its frustrating as once asleep properly he sleeps well - woke at 5.50am, took a feed and went straight back over. But I dont want a 1.5-2hr crying fit every evening

I wonder if he's going through one of those development phases where they are very unsettled and sleep is disturbed for a while (a couple of weeks perhaps) before suddenly learning a new skill? My dd did that. I don't know if you've heard of The Wonder Weeks but she seemed to follow the chart to the day although ds didn't appear to be affected at all.

The only advice that I can offer, if you can call it advice, is to try and comfort your ds as you are doing without overstimulating him and hope that it is a phase and passes quickly.

I hope it is just a phase. You make a good point about the developmental phases. DDs sleep was screwed in the weeks leading up to her taking her first steps and crawling and talking etc.