What age would you let your DC go on holiday with another family?

[rookiemere]

Thinking about inviting one of DS's friends on holiday with us for a week. He would be 11 when we go, DS would be 9. We've got two bedrooms, so they'd just need to pay for flights and a bit of spending money.

He has stayed over for a sleepover and he has been on days out with us and seems happy and comfortable with those, also recently was on a school trip where I think they were away for 4 nights.

Perhaps it's a bit young, I don't know as DS is younger. What age would you feel comfortable with your DC being away with another family for a week?

Oh I should say as well that we know the parents fairly well, have had nights out and went away on a short break together.

I let one of mine go with another family for a week aged 10 (within UK).

We offered a share of petrol costs (declined, as they would be taking the car anyhow), a contribution to keep (accepted) and provided generous pocket money.

If going abroad, make sure you have insurance properly sorted.

Thanks AuntieStella. Did you know the family already? Were you sure that your DC would be ok for a week without you?

I let DD2 fly to Spain with her friend & friend's parents when she was 10.

Yes, I knew the parents fairly well as the DC had been in the same class most of the way through primary and played together frequently outside school.

My DS wanted to go, had had the odd sleepover with them before, and had been away on things like Cub camps, so it never really crossed my mind that he'd be anything other than OK.

I think 11 is fine. I went with friends
& her family aged 11.

I wouldn't actually ask for a contribution though.
If you invite you pay.
If they offer then perhaps work out a contribution to living costs whilst there (food / days out/ treats/ ice crams)
Obvs suggest pocket money is all that's needed in the first instance.

Thanks for further responses.

We weren't planning on asking for a contribution- the flights would be the main cost and we would ask them to pay for his which I think is reasonable. The accomodation will cost the same regardless so I wouldn't expect anything for that and he has fairly simple food tastes, so apart from the water park we usually go to, there wouldn't be too much to pay for.
I feel a bit weird mentioning it to them though - not sure why so need to think it through.

Would depend on how well we knew them, where to and for how long tbh.

We have taken DD's friends away with us for a few days but only ever in the UK and not for a week.

DD has only ever been away with my parents for any length of time (from abt 8/9y) and I think 5 or 6 days has been the longest, and first time abroad with them was last year, aged 12y.

We took our cousin away for 5 days when she was 7y which was fine.

I really couldn't say what age as it really would depend on the exact situation and how dd felt about it at the time.

I would only take a friend for DD though if I was able to cover all their costs inc accommodation and flights - unless it was them who initially suggested it. Otherwise I think it puts the family in a difficult position. I'd only expect them to have some pocket money of their own.

Likewise when DD went away with my parents they paid all her costs and declined any offers towards flights, etc. We just sent pocket money.

Ah ok - I'm not sure on the etiquette of this ! Is it not different though hulababy as it was DDs GPs?

I'd be happy to cover his meals, but don't think it's unreasonable to ask for flight costs - I'd ask the parents and not mention it to their DS so if they couldn't afford it ( which I believe they could as I've checked flight prices and they aren't excessive) then they can turn it down. Normally I do apply to the we're inviting so we pay rule, but I feel in this case as we'd still be covering the accomodation then it's ok.

It's an interesting one though - maybe I should put another post up about costs and who should pay?

We've just declined our 13 year old DS going on holiday with his friend. We would love him to go but we are already having a family holiday which is fairly expensive (to us) and I can't justify the cost of flights for one of the family to have an extra holiday while the rest go without.

I hope I have explained that correctly - I would ask the parents and state what you would like them to pay for but be prepared to be turned down.

I guess grandparents is different us.

However, if I was doing the inviting I would only do so if I could cover all costs. It would be for mine - or rather - dd's benefit after all.

If dd was invited by a friend I would offer to pay towards the holiday but tbh as dd doesn't 'need' a holiday as such I may not may not agree to her going depending on costs etc.

Ds flew out to France in the summer to meet up with a friend who was out there for a month. He was 11 and we paid his flights. He had 10 days out there, had a ball and flew back. He took some pocket money and left €10 for a bottle of wine to say thankyou.