Once you let your child sleep in your bed, is there no turning back?

[TrixieLox]

I keep hearing this from people, over and over. Thing is, I’m exhausted. My 18mo has had to go in her ‘big girl’s bed’ as she was climbing from her cot and is now waking every 30mins to an hour from about 1am, this has been happening for a couple of weeks. We’re trying different techniques that don’t work except for the one I know works and my instincts are telling me is what she needs: being in bed with us. It just feels completely natural.

Hubby hates the idea. He says he doesn’t want the same to be happening 5 years down the line. If we go down that road, he's said we'll need to get a single bed for her room for him to sleep in (she has a toddler bed converted from her cotbed currently) as he’s worried about crushing her in his sleep (but he barely moves when he sleeps). It’s not just my hubby either, people at work, friends, family… they all tell me I’ll be creating a rod for my back.

I’m coming to the end of my tether, have an important job interview this week but my brain can’t function from exhaustion. I’ve told my hubby that’s it, she’s coming into bed if she doesn’t stop crying this week just so I can SLEEP. He’s agreed but I can tell he’s downcast about it and envisaging years ahead of us never having a bed to ourselves.

What are your experiences of this? Did your children stay forever once you made that move?

well, they're 14 and 15 now and no, so it all worked out in the end

we co slept for a few years. Two young children, 15 months between them. We turned our bedroom into a huge bed. Lots of reasons for that and it was the best choice for us in the situation and I don't regret it at all.

I have no rod. It's a long long time ago and doesn't affect anything.

It did keep me sane at the time because I was on my knees with the sleep deprivation. The biggest danger to my children at that time was my lack of sleep!

A bed is just a bed. Somewhere to sleep. Whatever allows that to happen is fine in my book. It's not forever, far from it.

Dd did this at about 2.5 she would walk in and get into our bed....we let it go on for a while but started walking her back and she was fine with that after a few days and stopped the visits

Can you go to your daughters bed and sleep with her? I find this much better because they tend to doze off again really fast and you can then return to the comfort of your bed or if you fall asleep with her it'd no biggie and your partner cannot complain. Or he can go there you can sleep in your bed with her as you said.

I go to my DC and they never come to our bed. It has saved DH sanity.

We did it and they aren't in our bed now! Dd, who is 8, co slept from when she transferred to a big bed from her cot. She stopped naturally when she was 5.

At the time she would go to sleep happily in her own room, her own bed, but would be in ours by the monning! We coped by buying a huge low bed so she didn't wake us up climbing in. Suited us all, and she stopped when she had enough.

She used to say that it wasn't fair that she was the youngest, but the one who had to sleep on her own.

Do what suits you as a family.

I have my son in with us all the time. It feels completely natural to have our son close to us in the night and we all get some decent sleep. He is 16 months and gets put in his cot to start with but will often end up with us. Neither me and my partner have a problem with it, who decides that a child must sleep in their own bed. Mind you I come from a mother who regularly was happy with me and my siblings sleeping in her bed or each other's so to me it's normal. Do what you feel best.

I'm pretty sure it comes to an end at some point.

However we've been cosleeping for 7 yrs now. And by we, I mean me, DH goes to one of the boys' beds, and they're both in with me. Surprised we managed a DC2 and DC3 tbh!!

We have this past week, put them in a room together in the effort to get them back out of our bed, I need a good nights sleep and DC4 They started with waking 3x per night, then 2x per night. On the weekend they slept right through and I was worried something was wrong

Last night DS1 woke DS2 at midnight as he needed a pee and was too scared to go alone. DS2 was bawling, so unimpressed. But that was the only time last night, maybe we are getting there.

I wouldn't mind having them in with me until they are ready to go, but I think it's time, and occasionally I'll let them back in for a treat now and then.

So yes, eventually they do get out of your bed, but it may be a long, hard road.

Nah. DD1 co-slept from 3-12 months. Now she spends at least 99% of nights in her own cot. She is 2.4 years old.

We have co-slept with DD2 from night 1. She is 4 months.

No worries about rods here.

all of ours slept in our bed when babies (bf at night) or ill or frightened.

they grow out of it, don't worry

You have to do what's right for you Hun,if I was as tired as you I would look at my options. Could you wait for her to fall asleep and carry her into her room so she wakes up in her room you can tell her how proud and what a big girl she is. I'm not sure.
I tried not to get into this habit. But my son was an ok sleeper. My friend was a single mum and had her daughter in with her, she liked the company just as much as her little one liked being with her mum. It did get to be hard work in the end though. She would only sleep with her mum, or her nan and it went on until she was 9/10 she's 16 now and fine.
But trying to get her into her own bed alone was a nightmare she said she would never make again. Although she did ha. X

I think there is such a thing as a rod. I still have a 6 and 9 year old in with us full time . My 11 year old would like to be with us full time but we negotiate.
Honestly I'd like my bed back. Yes they won't be there at 16 but it's not necessarily a quick fix.