Parent and baby groups

[branflakeontoast]

I'm not really sure what I want to know, all I know is I'm sort of terrified of them and I need a bit of a kick up the arse reassurance, because I do want to go!

There's the young parents group, for under 22s. I am 22, but the lady I spoke to seemed to think that was fine. Now this is probably stupid but I was bullied a bit in school, and mostly the people I know of that have had babies at my age or younger were those girls or their friends. I do live in a different area now, and I know I shouldn't assume it'll be the same but I'm a bit worried I wouldn't fit in there, being probably the oldest one there and a bit of an old soul anyway!

As for the other groups, I'm worried no one will speak to me because I'm young! I know 22 isn't that young but I could easily pass for 17/18, and I read a thread on here where people were saying they wouldn't really speak to younger mums because they think they'd have nothing in common. Do most people think like this?

Also a tad worried everyone will know each other already and not be interested in making any new friends so I'll end up sat on my own, ds is three months so I have left it late-ish to start, I think.

Anyway I do know I'm massively over thinking this, so I need tales of going to groups where everyone is lovely and it was all fine, and probably to be told to get over myself and just try it!

I was 21 when I had DS and I will confess its a funny age because your not really counted as a "young mom" but your also a lot younger than the majority of moms at groups.

However I really enjoyed taking DS to groups. The groups I went to weren't what I'd expected baby groups to be - I'd always thought for babies it would be sitting in a circle having to talk to other moms. The groups had different areas set up in the room with activities going on and the focus was definitely on the babies. Moms did talk but pretty much about the babies and not a lot else. People talked to me as much as any other mom there.

Also if you go to one and don't like it, you never have to go back, just try another one instead.

I do think you are over thinking it a bit. Why not just try a couple and see if you enjoy them ?

Yes. Go and see if you like it.

You don't have to go back if you don't like it. Try out as many as you want to. You'll eventually find someone you click with and if you stop clicking with them, drift away and find another one. Sure Start centres are everywhere, they all offer groups (just Google the ones near you). I do think you need to branch out and find some parents to network with when you have a new baby (just so you don't go stir crazy).

Unlike school, you don't have to hang around if you don't like the other kids. Get your coat and go and explore the world of parent groups :-)

Start off going for your DC and you may find as a bonus that you make some new friends. Visit a few different groups, to see what suits you both best. I try and make new people at our group welcome, but Sometimes I'm too busy, so definitely visit more than once.

Can't believe people wouldn't talk to you if you were younger as you wouldn't have anything in common - you've got children.

You've got nothing to lose by going along. I didn't have any friends where I lived (had moved 500 miles) before I had DS1, I just had to start talking to people and then progressing to asking for numbers/coffee, so definitely advise going back a few time. I was badly bullied at school and still find it hard to chat to people, but it's much easier when you have little ones in common. Remember people are rarely as confident as they seem. I did still feel lonely on mat leave sometimes, but joined the zoo which meant I always had somewhere fun to take my DS even if we hadn't seen anyone else that week.

I had my eldest when I was 22 and looked much younger. I did meet a few people at toddler groups that obviously had a very negative idea of what 'young mums' are like and were surprised that I didn't fit that stereotype but most people were lovely I found that there are people there that want to catch up with their friends but we're also happy to include others in the conversation and there were some mums that would spend most of their time playing with their child but, again, they were always happy to chat!

Everyone is in the same boat, go along a few times and see if you start to feel at home, if not then just try another group or a baby class :)

Thankyou very much everyone, I needed that

I have to go to the children's centre this week anyway to get ds measured so I'll sign up to something while I'm there!