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Parenting

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Original poster

How do you deal with 18mo tantrums?

45 replies

Treesandbees · 08/01/2015 22:26

DS has started tantruming and I'm unsure how to deal with them. It's simple things that seem to set him off like not wanting to put his coat or shoes on to leave the house or leave the park or get in the bath or jumping on the dog...sigh! This results in monumental meltdown. No consoling helps, distraction doesn't help, ignoring doesn't help. Do I need to start a naughty step? Not sure he would understand the concept though? Any tips?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Millie3030 · 15/01/2015 23:05

Mumsnet is a great distraction when they are in full tantrum, 'walk away and mumsnet' may be my new motto.

theendoftheendoftheend · 16/01/2015 12:55

I took her to a play group this morning and she was lovely! I think maybe I've become so worried about taking her to that kind of thing, when actually it might be just what she needs.
Can I ask, how much do your toddlers eat? I let her have 4 petit filous for breakfast as I didn't want her to be hungry angry, she had snacks there and has just eaten nearly all her lunch too!

LackingCommonSense · 16/01/2015 15:50

I find DS much more agreeable when we're out somewhere. He's more likely to have a tantrum at home! Usually when he's tired.

On a typical day he'll have a banana and activia yoghurt for breakfast (I don't like petit filous due to sugar content) or porridge, and two main meals (eg bolognaise, chicken tagine/pie, caulflower cheese) plus desserts (eg fruit/jelly/raisins/biscotti). Snacks are usually fruit or rice crackers.

I'm sure he'd happily eat more some days!

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HyperThread · 16/01/2015 16:01

Can I join in too please? LO is 19 months and has tantrums when anything doesn't go her way. It's exhausting

GothicRainbow · 16/01/2015 17:12

Theendof that's great, I find if we're out and about - as long as it's not a shop - then DS is so distracted he doesn't have time to tantrum! Definitely get her out to some groups will do her a lot of good I reckon!

My DS is eating loads at the moment, today he's had 2 pancakes and a bowl of cheerios, a sandwich, cucumber, lunchbox soreen, snacks including a rich tea biscuit, corn ring crisps & sultanas and is now ploughing his way through my patented hidden veg pizza - has peas, courgette, mushroom, sweetcorn and pesto in it!!

theendoftheendoftheend · 16/01/2015 21:32

Gothic your pizza sounds lovely!
I think this morning worked partly because she loved all the toys and partly because she had all my attention, which never usually happens. I'm definitely gong to do it more often, it was so nice having a happy baby then a supremely angry one. She's like The Hulk!

Millie3030 · 16/01/2015 21:36

Yes I think they are generally better out and about, I don't mind doing quick visits to shops, but I always plonk him in the trolley. And give him his little snack pot of raisins or one by one hand him a rice cake. Lots of kisses and involving him in things, like saying "that's a flower" when we are in tescos etc. 15/20 minutes maximum.

Food wise for breakfast he has porridge fingers, baby led recipe, basically porridge for lazy mums so they can feed themselves and a banana. lunch is a sandwich and an apple/grapes/raisins and dinner is fish cake, peas, mashed potato/ jacket potato and beans/ spaghetti bolognese etc. fruit for pudding.

LackingCommonSense · 17/01/2015 06:59

Yesterday's tantrum was because he wanted a yoghurt when he got back from MILs, but wanted to watch Peppa Pig at the second time. He wasn't allowed as the lounge is carpeted and yoghurt is messy but the high chair in the kitchen apparently wasn't acceptable!!

LackingCommonSense · 17/01/2015 07:00

*same time not second time!

GothicRainbow · 17/01/2015 13:10

We've had similar tantrums lacking so we have now bought a little table and chairs in the living room which he can sit at. This has actually helped a lot with meal time tantrums - maybe it's knowing he's in control of when he can get down rather than mummy having the control when he's in the highchair.

LackingCommonSense · 17/01/2015 13:15

That's an interesting idea. I've actually been wondering about getting one because he likes using his cousins and trying to colour. where did you get it from?

GothicRainbow · 19/01/2015 17:22

My DP's bought my DS's for his birthday but have had a quick google and its similar in style to this:

www.argos.co.uk/m/static/Product/partNumber/2882020.htm

Except his has a jungle picture on it

LackingCommonSense · 19/01/2015 19:42

Saw something similar on Amazon actually..thanks for the link!

Millie3030 · 24/01/2015 18:24

Tantrums today have been interesting, he now has a new hate for his car seat, and can't see why jabbing his fork into the wooden table is not allowed. Cue high pitched screams and wailing on the floor. To think this is only 18 months, this is before the terrible twos and the threenagers

LackingCommonSense · 26/01/2015 13:25

Yes mine wants to run around with his 'ork' and doesn't understand why I won't let him!

hawaiibaby · 26/01/2015 14:35

walk away and mumsnet

LOVE IT.

Have you tried writing him a letter? didn't work but it made me feel better.

bigtroubleinlittlenappies.com/2015/01/22/memo-to-my-boss-biting-is-unprofessional/

lastly, I try to remember it won't last... not forever, surely?!

Millie3030 · 28/01/2015 19:05

Ha ha love the link, special skills Unwavering ability to fake enthusiasm thought it was just me. Yes darling the cow fits in the barn for the 100th time this morning, brilliant.

hawaiibaby · 02/02/2015 22:27

Haha - yes here too! "Mmm, it is a car, yes that's another car, and another car. Oh yes, 6 more cars, so exciting!"

lem31 · 10/02/2015 21:26

I tried naughty step for the same reasons as you - run out of options! I only used it for more dramatic behaviour - hitting, throwing food etc. He took it with good cheer - sat there very well and enjoyed the cuddles after to say sorry. It was good for me more than him I think - gave me some space and time to think and I felt I was doing something.

Spoke with health visitor in the end and her advise was to ignore as much as possible. Have to say it's worked brilliantly. He still tantrums but if I can't do anything about it I tend to leave him to it until he is ready for comfort. I approach him every minute or so to see if he is ready and if he pushes me away I leave him to it a bit longer, if he wants a cuddle I pick him up. I also try to explain as much as possible. Tantrums are relatively frequent, but tend to be short lived.

In the meantime, check out the blog hurrah for gin. She has some great insight!!

Millie3030 · 11/02/2015 15:50

My DS doesn't understand naught step, well he just gets up to walk to me. So I may try it again in few months when he understands. He is actually being very good today, no meltdowns so far. His talking is getting better, so is his pointing so he can now communicate more, he seems less frustrated.

I have been trying the 'just ignore, and cuddle when he has finished' and it definitely has reduced tantrum time. He had one in the kitchen the other day because I wouldn't let him play with the big shiny knife (evil mummy) so he laid on the floor and screamed, stomped feet, I just carried on calmly and even stepped over him as I was walking round the kitchen. But just pretended he wasn't there, it lasted under a minute then he was happy as larry again. Toddlers are hilarious!

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