The first few months are hard, right?

[MyBalletShoes]

And things will get a little easier, right?

Trying hard to convince myself nothing lasts forever, good or bad.

2.2 year old DS1 and 10 week old DS2.

The little one is sleeping like a baby i.e. waking every 40 mins or so. Hasn't ever done a longer stretch than 2 hours. Feeding constantly, just like his big brother did at this stage. All normal behaviour but tiring nonetheless.

It just seems like if one is happy, the other isn't. Or one is crying because the other is crying. I keep looking forward to the 3 months mark, the 4 month mark, the 6 month mark etc but I'm very wary of wishing their little childhoods away.

Plus I always wanted 3 DC if we were so blessed but goodness me, this is hard work with just 2! Although perhaps now is not the time to be worrying about that!

So, any tales of moving through the fog of the toddler and newborn stage and coming through reasonably intact?

Right and right.

I had a similar age gap. Six months on things will be completely different. In time for summer too

Just think of this as the chrysalis stage. Hibernate and don't be overly ambitious. If everyone is fed, clean and reasonably happy, you're winning.

Thanks for replying.

Summer is what I'm looking forward to. And there are lots of nice things happening over the next few months. It's just hard when battling sleep deprivation. And questioning if you're doing anything right!

Is the little one taking any of the feeds from a bottle? A couple if you could just get a fraction more sleep it would help a lot.

If I could go back and change one thing it would be to prioritize myself slightly more. (I martyred myself a bit)

Currently on DD3 - 5y, 2y and 6m.

While DD3 has not been the hideous pain of hell on earth challenge as a baby DD2 was its still been a bit of hunkering down in the trenches to get through it but it's starting to get to the easier/fun stage.

You'll be fine.

If it's any consolation, I'm currently finding the Xmas holidays hard work with DD (4.9y) & DS (14 weeks). There has been a large amount of TV watching while the weather has been rubbish, I'm longing for some nicer weather too when it will be much easier to feed DS when out & about. (I realize I'm fortunate in that i will have time alone with DS when DD is back at school, although school run/feed timing has its own set of issues!)
It's amazing how fast it goes in the grand scheme of things, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.
Fingers crossed you get some more sleep soon!

(And when I say martyred, I mean co-sleeping, EBF on demand, cloth nappies etc despite being sooo sleep deprived) Mums matter too, they are the keystones...

No Arsenic, no bottles as yet. Find expressing makes me so engorged but it might get better as the weeks go by. DH is fantastic and will keep him downstairs, letting me sleep upstairs and only bringing him up for feeds but you're right, it's all broken and a good chunk of sleep in one go might help.

Softly - glad to hear going on to have a third does happen even if DC2 is challenging! Looking forward to the fun part and the boys hopefully playing together because of the reasonably close age gap.

Fidgety - I know exactly what you mean about the holidays. I feel it's been too much tv and not enough exercise for DS1 who needs treating like a puppy in terms of exercise! Cannot wait for the better weather and for DS2 to become a little happier at being out of someone's arms so that he can go in the pram and we can get to the park.

Thanks so much for the kind words. Just seen another thread with a similar theme so I guess it's a universal thing!

It gets a lot easier. By 9 months I was plotting dc3.

Haha, like the idea of plotting a third DC. I do remember thinking 'never again' after DC1 but, yep, about 9 months onwards my mind was changed.

It's just DH who needs convincing!

DS1 is 2.4yo and DS2 8 wks and I share your pain. My issue isn't sleep deprivation as much as DS2 resisting naps, getting overtired and spending a lot of time screeching as a result. I seem to spend all my time trying to get him to sleep while DP and DS2 "have fun" or so it seems to me.

We're all just focussing on getting to the springtime....!!

I know what you mean re waiting for 3mo mark etc. my friends say something magical happens after 6mo so here's hoping

We can only hope flipflop! Things always seem brighter when the days are brighter too so hurry up spring and summer!

Stopping them from getting overtired is the devils work isn't it? I never appreciated how much easier it was just with one DC. Trying to spot tiredness signs with an older child also wanting your attention is hard isn't it. I hope your DH manages to give you a break from it over the weekend and that you get to have some fun time with DS1!

What happened at 9 months to make you think that? My LO is still quite high maintenance at 6 months

I think that the turning point for me was when dc2 started being entertained by toys and was more settled into an eat/sleep routine. With both my dcs naps got longer when they started crawling and went down to 2 naps. At around 9/10 months dc2 was taking two pretty long naps (having previously been a cat napper). I suddenly found that "all" I had to do was entertain the toddler for large parts of the day. Tv on and I could be pretty undisturbed for about 2hrs a day if need be. Sleep still shit but days are much less relentless.

Definitely agree with Tarka.

At around 9 months, or thereabouts, BLW was going well so he was feeding much more regularly around his meals and, most importantly, less frequently. He was only a few weeks off taking his first steps so he seemed less frustrated and would happily crawl and cruise around the downstairs following me round. Plus, while night sleep was still very broken, naps had gone to one in a morning and one in an afternoon. It also probably helped that it was summer!

It might not be at 9 months for everyone but at some point it just felt like things were falling into place a bit more.

My LO is 17 months old and I'm still waiting for things to get better. Things seem to be getting worse.

In what way sksk?

LO is just generally, all around difficult! I've given up thinking it will get better except maybe in a few more years.

Can I join the thread? My DS is nearly 12 weeks and I've been promised by so many people that it will get easier between 3 and 4 months that I'm pretty much watching the clock and hoping that there will be a magical transformation where he'll suddenly start being willing to nap and sleep without begging, pleading, rocking, feeding and generally tearing our hair out... I could also do without the crying!

I'm heartened to hear some of you say you began to be able to face the idea of having another - after a very difficult birth and 3 months of really hard going I'm seriously tempted to stop at one despite having originally hoped for another...

Let's grit our teeth and get through this bit together - bring on the summer, and some happier times!

The first couple of months.... and the next 18 years

It does get better really, otherwise we wouldn't have 3, 4, 5, and some even more.

The first 75 months have been pretty trying so far, yes.

I have two DC (2yo, 4yo). They are 2 yrs 3 months apart. It was really hard to start - much harder than I thought it would be. DC1 'owned' the terrible twos and DC2 was entirely nocturnal for six weeks and then progressed to hourly wakings. There was a particularly low point in the snow once when I stupidly went out home without the buggy, newborn in sling and eldest child laid down on the frozen road, had a tantrum and refused to walk. I carried them both for a mile 2 weeks after giving birth - all three of us were crying.
But it's totally lovely now. They have chosen to share a room, adore each other and play loads and loads with each other. Chin up ladies, it does get better

I have had real doubts recently about having more! Everyone said "oh you forget about the birth because you decide to have another". ! 17 months on I am still upset about the birth and the damage it has done. On top of it, I am waiting for the time when LO will settle. School, maybe?

Sksk from a fellow 17mo's mother!

This thread has nearly killed my desperate broodiness for dc2!

Hey I'm reading with interest. Ballet - I have a nearly an 18 month old and I'm nearly halfway through 2nd pregnancy. So my age gap will be around 1 year 10 months.

I hope things do get easier for you, I'm freaking out about the pending birth, esp as ds has started the twos early.

It's great to know so many go on to have dc3 and plus. I think 2s my limit thou

I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling sksk ?? DS1s birth was pretty rough and my recovery after was even harder, something I didn't fully realise until DS2 came along and I thought 'Wow, so people really can feel ok after giving birth. Who knew?!' Is there anyone you can talk to about it all?

Bingle I was exactly like you. I so, so, so wanted a big family (well, 3 or 4) but a few weeks after DS1s birth I remember crying in the kitchen to DH about not being able to do it again and how all my plans were ruined. Quite dramatic looking back but it was how I felt. DH was rather bemused and kindly said that perhaps 2 weeks post partum wasn't the time to be worrying about that. He was right and time changes things - it must do, hence the arrival of DS2!

too many - that sounds like a very exhausting trip. I was the same about a month ago. Decided to walk into town. I did have the double pram but DS1 was insistent on walking and DS2 was crying in the pram as he tends to do when flat on his back and out of my arms. DS1 decided he wanted to walk on a particular wall which he always does with either me or his Dad. I was so insistent on trying to keep things normal for him that I let him but just couldn't manage both the pram and him up the hill and he slipped. He was fine but shocked at nearly falling so started crying. DS2 got even louder with his tears and I just thought 'what the hey' and joined them. Not my finest hour but I was just so exhausted with it all. I'm so glad it's got better for you and that yours are good friends now. That's the one thing I hope for most with mine.

Racheyg - thanks for the kind wishes! I'm sure you will be fine with your second birth. Mine was quite a healing experience in more ways than one. And fingers crossed your small age gap means that the biggest slog will be done at the start of their little lives.

As I type this DS2 is flat asleep on my chest but he has done two, two and a half hour blocks of sleep in his Moses basket since 8pm. I never would have thought that possible even 48 hours ago so miracles do happen!

I'm so grateful to everyone who has shared their experiences and am thinking about everyone who is struggling with their LOs at the moment. It won't last forever ??