Treating siblings equally and fairly, how do you do it?

[sandyballs]

The reason I ask is this. Last night my two DDs (twins aged 5)decided they would both draw a picture of me and then I had to judge it and say whose is the best:

DD2: Don't say both of us mummy because you always say that and it can't always be true.

Me: OK, I'll choose a definite winner.

They finished their pictures, I studied them, complemented on different aspects of both, colour, likeness etc and then said: "Ohh it is so difficult, I know I wouldn't say it, but I really think they are both very good, you are both the winners".

Cue DD2 screaming and throwing herself on the floor, "You always say that, you said you wouldn't etc etc, do it again, do it again".

So I study the pictures again and say "Right I have a definite winner, due to blah blah blah, the winner is DD1 ".

Due DD2 again screaming and throwing herself on the floor because she hasn't won.

I would have try to pick the best of both oictures and said 'Well, I can't compare them because they are so different. I really blabla... from DD1 and blabla bla from dd2'. I would also have emphasized than not one is better than than the other, that they are both different and that you love them for different reasons.

However, I do have similar questions with my two and can't say that I would have arrived to such a toughfull answer . I will keep an eye on this thread as I am sure I will find ideas that will be helpfull for me too.

Tell them the question is not fair because you know you'll make one of them unhappy and you never want to make either of them unhappy. Would you ask them to decide whether they loved mummy or daddy more? Not that you could decide, anyway. So you refuse to be made to choose, and that's that.

There's a book about this kind of thing, "siblings without rivalry" I think. What they really want in the end is not to best each other but just to get some individual praise.

tell them dd1 is the winner in the use of colour category and dd2 is the winner in the imagination category (or whatever category suits them)

As for the general question of treating siblings fairly - with my 3 and 1 year old I'm probably already showing signs of making the classic mistakes of expecting too much of the older one, so I'd be interested in any responses to this.