2.8yrs and still in nappies - is this really slow?

[xenabelly]

hi all

Am a bit fed up lately, my little girl is 2.8yrs old and still in nappies all the time. She just seems to have NO IDEA when she is going to do a wee or a poo. We are regularly encouraging her to use potty or toilet and doing the whole stickers and big cheers but she just doesn't seem to know when she is going to have a wee in order to tell us - so we've not been hassling her too much cos we thought she would just do it in her own time.

Some of the signs are there, when we're out shopping she always asks me if she can sit on the toilet 'like mummy' (which we do but she never does anything). And she has started asking for her nappy to be changed or just taking it off when it's wet or dirty herself so I think she's getting there but just a bit slower than my friends kids.

However,my MIL is driving us nuts, saying we need to put her in knickers and just let her wet them so she will feel 'uncomfortable' and that we're 'not trying hard enough to train her'. My hubby has been on my side all the time, saying to ignore his mum and we'll do it when we're ready BUT yesterday he suddenly decides that his mum is right and she needs to wear knickers or she'll never be out of nappies.

I gave in cos we were going to his mums for tea, so I thought right well lets see what happens. Anyway, sure enough, she went through 7 pairs of knickers in one evening !! She understands that she needs to tell mummy 'if I want a wee' and 'I need to say mummy, I want a wee' but she just doesn't seem to know. Fortunately my MIL changed all her knickers (I sat smugly in corner!).

She's in Pull Ups this morning because I just can't face changing her knickers and pants every 5mins.

This has turned into a bit of a long one but just wondered what you all think. Is she really old to still be in nappies? Does this knicker thing work? Does it sound like if we leave her a few weeks she'll get in herself?

Am so gutted that my hubby has 'swapped sides'

Help!

p.s - I DO want her out of nappies aswell but also want to keep my sanity!
p.p.s - I love my hubby and MIL to bits most of the time.

She's your child and you know her best! Mine were out of nappies in the summer before their 3rd birthday - it was just easier to let them run around half-naked for a while and get used to the whole thing, and it was all a bit hit and miss for a while.

My nephew was in nappies until six weeks before his third birthday, he was then in 'pull-ups' for a couple of weeks to get used to the whole 'pulling up and down like a big boy' thing, and then came out of them and was clean and dry within a week, literally a week before his 3rd birthday. A couple of weeks later and he was dry at night too! I've been really impressed at how simple and hassle-free the

Firm believer that there's no absolute 'right' time - only a time when it's 'right' for you and your child.

I didn't even think to start potty training my son until the month before he was 3. I had put him in pants as he was in terry nappies and it was so near to bath time I didn't want to use one for 10 minutes and he wet them. I decided he wasn't ready! The day I did decide to try, I put the potty in the kitchen and he got a chocolate button for every wee. I had to stop that as he was going 6 times a day as he had never had chocolate before!! After that he picked out some binoculars he wanted from Early learning and I made a star chart with a picture of the binoculars at the end. He took two days to earn them. It was a good 6 months before I could confidently go out without spare clothes and he is now 5 years and 7 months and we have wet beds most mornings. I have tried allsorts and he is going back in to pull ups tonight until I can find a washable nappy big enough. He is a very heavy sleeper and just can't do it yet at night.

My daughter started asking for knickers at 17 months and we had 3 false starts before she was dry just before 2. She is advanced in everything though and academically gifted. She wants knickers at night sometimes and nappies other times.

She isn't too old to be in nappies but if she doesn't know she needs a wee then she can't be potty trained. It is a 3 stage process. They need to know they have done something. They need to realise they are doing something and they need to feel they want to do something. If you try before they are ready it will take forever. If you try when they have done the stages it will take about a week. She will probably do it at the same age but you may have months of stress beforehand if you try too soon. HTH and good luck. She is your child, have faith in yourself!!

Oh for heavens sake, if she doesn't know when she needs to go then you CAN'T succeed yet,

Put the poor little lamb back into nappies and wait until she's older. Otherwise she's going to be permanently wet and uncomfortable, and you're going to be permanantly frustrated, as well as washing clothes and mopping furniture.

DS was about 3 and a quarter when we cracked it, and because he was ready we had achieved 100% in 3 days. Keep trying now and you're just setting yourself up to fail.

Have you tried putting pull ups over the knickers so that she can feel when she is wet but you get none of the clearing up . It worked really well for my dd who was 2.9 when she trained and was dry at night only a few months later.

My dd1 was 2yrs 9 months - we tried to start her earlier but she wasn't ready, and it was distressing for all of us so we waited until she knew she was weeing or about to wee then it all came together much quicker.
Dd2 is 2yrs 4 months and pretty much dry now, it's been clear she's ready for ages. All different, and I don't think 2yrs 8 months is late at all. YOu could probably do with agreeing a strategy with DH and sticking to it.
Nursery told us pull-ups were confusing for some children and I tend to agree.

DD was over 3 - was dry within 3 days of starting.

DS - turned 3 in September - did try over the summer but we had so many accidents I gave up .

Now trying the pull-ups - had a few accidents but he seems to be getting the hang of it slowly.

He has no reason to be potty-trained, as he will not attend nursery until next September, and the pre-school he attends will change nappies. Of course, I'd rather he wasn't still in nappies, and I'm feeling a bit of peer-pressure (as I think he might be the oldest one in nappies at pre-school), but have decided to just take it slowly.

DD was 2.3 and was dry day and night in 3 days.

DS is now 2.7 and showing no signs at all of being ready. I haven't even tried. I'll know when he is ready, as i did with DD.

dd3, 2.6, is not keen to try at all, she just refuses. My other dds were quite a bit younger and far more enthusiastic.

we are just leaving it til she gets a bit more positive about the idea.

I waited till ds was over 3 and it was so easy, xena, he virtually did it himself. I can count the number of accidents he has had, in total, on one hand.

It is amazing how fast they can develop and mature at this age - in another 2 months she might be totally ready. Please don't distress yourself and her by pushing when she isn't ready - it will be easy when the right time comes.

I would practise saying very camly and confidently to MIL "We have decided to wait until she is ready." Sorry your dh has swapped sides, but tbh you and your dd are the ones who are closely involved with this - not your MIL and your dh.

oh yes Franny I remember your phrase when you trained your DS...

should have been quote of the week!

My dd is 3y4m. Until this very day she has shown no interest whatsoever in coming out of nappies. In fact she cried if I attempted to get her to leave it off. Hopefully she won't want her nappy back now and also hope it won't take her too long to get the hang of things.

Oh and she decided herself that she wanted knickers now. Dressed herself this morning and took off her nappy and put on knicks. Shame that anything she has done hasn't been in the potty as she's still not too keen on that. Oh well one step at a time.

I am not sure whether this is anything to be proud of but I beat all of you. My ds was 3.9 yrs before being toilet trained!! When he did decide to 'comply' he did it himself in 3 days. He is also far more reliable than some in his peer group.

Wait as long as you can bear, Xena. It will be less painful then.

ds1 was 2 years 8 months
we had used the potty at home for sveral onths before that - what i mean is, when at home, we took his nappy off and let him get used tothe potty
I was heavily pregnant and could not be bothered to train him
then one day he said he did not want to wear a nappy
he had a wee accident once and a poo accident once and that was it
he was dry at night within a week

leave it until she is ready or you get all the hard work
piece of cake when they are ready imo

btw
if hubby and mil think she isready, let them train her

DS1 managed it a week before his 3rd birthday.

I assume you will be doing most of the training and not your DH or MIL?

You need to be assertive.

My MIL said something about me being worried that DS1 is not out of night time pull ups yet. I just said "I'm not - nothing to worry about" and changed the subject.

Hang in there

My BigH (2.5) isn't interested in potty training as the trainer pants are just like nappies to him! He was doing really well with normal pants, but has no regressed back to trainer pants again, which are horrible when pooed in!! There is so much pressure from everwhere to get them potty trained . I don't think it matters how experienced you are with potty training, as he is my 3rd baby and I believe they do it when they are ready, not when everyone else is!

definitely agree with previous posters that she is not slow - ds1 was 2.9 before showing any interest at all so I just left it then he decided he wanted to stop wearing nappies and it was all done and dusted in a week! As popsycal said it's so easy and quick if you let them decide the timing so just go with your and her instincts as you are doing!

ds is two and a third. No interest whatsoever. By the way, trainer pants are not that yucky if you tear them down the sides to take them off (re.pooey ones).

DD is 2.9, she's been taking her nappy off after a wee, that kind of thing. This morning she did a huge wee in the potty, so we may be on our way. I'm in no hurry though. DS2 was one of those 'can do it, but can't be bothered types' and so i left him until be could be bothered and then it was all done in a day . He was 3.8

I waited till DS1 was 3. We did have 10 accidents on the first day, but by day 4 he had got the hang of it.
When you are both ready, start and stick to it. I was ready to give up on day 3 but, then it just seemed to click.

As I keep saying, my ds was pushing 4 before he was ready - and then did it with I think, 2 accidents. Why do people want them out of nappies? It's tedious and expensive changing nappies, but it's just as expensive and much more tedious washing clothes and shampooing upholstry and carpets! It's no indication of intelligence or lack of it - it's just a matter of a particular sort of physical development - that can happen any time between 18 months and 4 with no cause for concern. Relax, and wait. Maybe til next summer - it's so much easier when it's warm!

Just wanted to say that dd has had no accidents yesterday and today. She's not interested in the potty at all but is taking herself to the toilet and performing very nicely, thank you. Up until last Thursday she not only showed no interest in potty training but was dead set against it. Hope I've not jinxed things now

Please dont worry. My DD is just over 3 and still in pull-ups. Some days she asks for knickers and asks to sit on the toildet and I walways oblige, but I found she was holding herself to the point of pain or asking for a bath so she could pee.

She's had one successful go on the loo - mkore by luck than judgement, and although a big song and dance was amde there has been no repeat performance.

have also tried pouring water in the potty and rpetending she did and making a big fuss, but that did;nt work either.

I am not worried - although finding trousers that fit is a bit of a nightmare. She will let me know when she's ready.

I think the more she see's you hung up on it, the more hung she will become herself. Tell MIL to chill out, and ask DH waht made him change his mind all of a sudden.