Any advice on introducing a new baby to 2.9 DD?

[batinshoes]

Hi there,

Sorry if this has been posted before but I'm after advice from those who have 'been there'. I am 31 weeks pregnant - due mid December - and I'm looking for advice on how to introduce the baby and for things to go smotthly.

DD is already in her own room, nursery is painted and DD helped us arrange the new cot, funiture etc for the baby. We talk about the baby and tell 'bump' what a great big sister DD will be. I've washed all the bedding and toys already which DD has seen and is happy that they are 'for baby'.

She seems very excited but I know that things can change when the arrival happens.

So.....any tips or practical advice gratefully received.

Good luck

I had ds 7 weeks ago and dd was 2.10. We did all of what you have mentioned, lots of talking and letting her be involved.
When he was born my mum looked after her and brought her straight down to the hospital. We arranged visits when she was just with one other person so that she didn't see all family and friends cooing over ds and her not getting attention.
We tried to keep her normal routine in place aswell, so while dh was at the hospital with me, someone else was putting dd to bed at home at her normal time.

Tbh she wasn't all that bothered about ds and its only now shes starting to take an interest but that probably because babies don't do anything

Behaviour wise she has gone a few steps back but absolutoly everyone I have spoke to has said that its so normal.

I would just say lots of involvement and if you've got your dh/dp at home for a while, try and spend some time with her while he sees to the baby or when the baby is sleeping.

HTH a bit and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

I would say instigate any changes in routine that will be necessary now. For instance I got DS used to reading a story sat next to me rather than on my knee which I could continue when I was breastfeeding DD. And also got him to start turning the pages of books himself.

Also got DH to take over his bath and bed routine more which left me free to feed DD.

I would do these things now rather than when baby is born.

Also there is the old present from baby trick.

Thank you. We've already bought a present for DD from the baby so got that covered too.

Advice gratefully received

We let dd1 and 2 open things that people had bought for dd3, also got people to 'coo' over them rather than the baby, and to praise them for being big sisters. After all , the new baby doesn't know but your dd will!

Love the idea of letting DD open the presents (hadnt thought of that), and getting 'spare' pressies in just in case is inspired. Thanks.

Keep them coming

Am avidly reading your thread, as dd2 arriving early Dec and dd1 currently 2.10

One thing I plan to do is take dd to see the hospital before baby arrives - we're lucky in that they will let us show her around a bit, and see the kind of room Mummy and her little sister will be in when she comes to visit.

Also, see thread in Behaviour and Development on identical issue (sorry, no good at links!).

And finally, if you're not on it already, you'd be very welcome on the antenatal Dec thread!

Thanks Eliboo. I have just linked this thread onto the one in Behaviour/Development.

dd2 arrived when dd1 was 2.5

we did the pressie thing (though wasn't really necessary as dd1 was amazed a dd2 and ignored the pressie)

dd1 visited asap after birth - I made sure dd2 was in cot when dd1 arrived so I could give her a cuddle etc and then introduce baby - first peering into cot then lifted her out. dd1 was a bit scared initially and didn't want a cuddle with dd2 but then did. grandma was there too and desperate for a cuddle but was adamant that dd1 was to have first cuddle after mummy and daddy.

when home there was some jealously - dd1 wasn't yet potty trained and unwilling to share changing mats etc thankfully I already had a new one for baby but ended up for 1st week having to change 2 nappies in sync!

the first couple of nights home dd1 would wake when dd2 cried - worried what was wrong

also told all visitors before they arrived that they must acknowledge dd1 before cooing over baby.

any toys (ones used from 6mths - 2yrs) that dd1 would be handing down to dd2 were also packed up and "disappeared" so that dd1 forgot about them - so theres no "thats mine" moments - it did happen once hence the response now. And I now have a box of nearly new christmas presents for dd2!

I kept as many as dd1's routines as possible once dh was back at work

My older DCs did all the midwife visits with me and got to play with the gadgets. We had a few baby books too - Usborne's New Baby is excellent as it's very straightforward funny, shows b/feeding and there's lots to talk about in the pictures.

It's good to keep older sibs involved with new babies but I always made time to spend with my older child on a one-to-one. Even if it meant letting the baby cry for a bit (not when it was hungry I might add!).

Try and keep as many 'old' routines going as possible so that the new baby doesn't 'spoil' anything!

And don't worry about it too much. Enjoy your bigger family!

PS. It'll take you MUCH longer to sign all your Christmas cards this year...

I've done a few introductions as I just had baby no.5! and all great ideas you;ve been given. I make a little squeaky baby voice and make the new baby "talk" to the older kids. Sounds sappy? well its always worked and I still do it now and they always laugh. I only do it in private though of course!!

and sorry just realised i should have said Good Luck!

It seems so daunting, doesn't it? I was so worried about how things were going to go but they were fine.

The three main things I did were:

1. On first seeing DS1 I first made a fuss of him and had a cuddle and a chat and then I introduced him to DS2, rather than his first sight being me cuddling DS2.

2. DS2 bought him a small present, which we gave to him when we were home.

3. I made sure I gave him plenty of attention and cuddles. I didn't expect anything of him (e.g. that he would like/love DS2)

4. I tried not to use negative words when he was around DS2 and tried not to appear jumpy about him being around him. E.g. Rather than shouting "No. Don't do that!" when he started overenthousiastically rocking him (even though that's what I was screaming inside my head) I stopped it as quickly as I could and said "Ah, that's nice you're rocking him but you need to do it more gently. Like this. He likes that.

I hope all goes well for you. You will be fine.

Some more great tips I hadnt thought of

Seems very sensible to make 1st sight of me on my own rather than cuddling baby. And i love the silly voice idea although agree - not in public

lol@xmas cards. I'd rather be writing an extra name than have the baby late and come on Xmas day

Thanks everyone...Great stuff

any more ideas?....not trying to be greedy, hoest

I'm also avidly reading this thread as I AM due on xmas day! So who knows what I'll do about cards!(Second EliBoos invite by the way if you don't mind being sucked into a realm of shopaholics!)

I've being reinforcing that baby brother will be quite boring for ages(to counter all the people who coo " how wonderful (name of DS1) you'll have someone to play football with". He's been reciting what baby will do. "Cry,sleep,drink mummy milk from mummy's boobies"(Fingers crossed it'll work.)
I've picked up lots of great tips on this thread! Must put it on watch."big brother" has just turned three by the way.

Good luck BTW.

we went shopping at about 33 wks with dd1 and let her choose a present for the new baby (a toy stegosaurus). she loved this and whenever the baby was mentioned (pre-birth), she talked about her present.

when dd2 came home, dd1 spent a lot of time putting the stegosaurus on her carrycot. it was a way of making her feel involved.

the other thing i would say is not to worry too much about it. i did worry a lot and it turned out fine in the end.

My DD was 2.9 when DS arrived nearly a year ago (where did that year go?)
I took her to all the midwife visits with her Doctors bag and they let her use her stethoscope etc, even pretended to give her something to inject me with when I needed Anti-D jab This was all my amazing midwife's doing so will depend on your midwife.

We did the present from the baby thing and took her to buy a present for the baby.

The first time she saw him he was in my arms but he was only 10 mins old (had a homebirth) and cord still attached so not much option there. She wasn't bothered, just fascinated.

We also pointed out yelling babies at every opportunity in case we had a screamer (luckily we didn't) and Spinamum's DS's rollcall of 'what babies do' sounds very familiar We also talked a lot about when I would be bfing and how, once the baby was comfy, we could read/tell stories. She still goes and gets a book whenever he feeds.

When he did arrive she was in awe of him for about 2 weeks then seemed to want to test his flexibility!! Now they are starting to really interact and even play together a bit which is amazing to watch/listen to most of the time though the 'bossy big sister act' is hard to deal with at times - like mother, like daughter

HTH and good luck all of you.

I can remember bringing dd2 home, dd2 was 2.3, we did'nt let her visit when we were in hospital so she did'nt meet her till we got home, she tried to grab the car seat off me and said "oh thankyou mummy", she was so pleased with her.