How long to let 3week old cry for??

[Tiddler]

Hi may seem silly question, but this is all new to me and dp. Ive left her for about 10min so far and i know dam well that all she wants is cuddles as ive changed fed etc etc.. which is lovely and i/ we love holding her but i gather it's best to start as you mean to go on and i wouldn't mind knowing what you ladies think?? Thanks very much

Just to echo what everyone else has said... enjoy your newborn, they grow up so fast! don't leave her to cry, cuddle her if she needs it. I found it was the only way to get through those first few months of sleep deprivation - it was soooo wonderful to relax on the sofa with my tiny baby asleep on my chest.... ahhhhhhh....... (we definitely need a broody emoticon)

I cuddled and kissed my dd lots and lots, don't know when I actually put her down. She is the most placid baby who settled really well into her own cot at six months and slept through the night from eight weeks! DD is ten months now and I miss when she was so tiny that you could sit holding her and watching her sleeping on and off for hours. Hello? Was that my uterus skipping a beat?? Oooh I think it was!

I'm a strong believer in that the more comfort and reassurance you give a baby/child the more confident they become. So hug her, hold her, kiss her as much as possible and without her even asking.

Babies are emotional, not rational. A small baby is incabable of learning anything from being left to cry and I can't see any good reason (other than giving yourself some time calm down) by allowing something so mutually upsetting for you and the baby as allowing her to cry. Adults crying and baby crying are totally different things and shouldn't be compared IMO. For example, I read on BBC news a while ago about tests in which babies were shown to be experincing physical pain from being left to cry for perlonged periods. Some people have likened beong a small baby to being stuck in a box. You can't move where you want to go and are utterly dependant on others for everything you need to surive and that's basically the tip of the iceburg of what it must feel like to be left to cry.

Don't be afraid of creating dependancy. By holding her when she needs it she will feel loved and secure and be more contented. She needs you more now than ever and as she grows up she will need you less, but if you can trust her to do that bit yourself, all the better for both of you.

This is a great website about crying babies. It also has great links to other sites you mught be interested in like Sears. here

I have an 18mo and the time goes so fast, the time that your DD will be so small and utterly dependant is so precious and will be gone so fast. I was stupid enough to let 'what I should be doing' with what I wanted to do take away some of the enjoyment of those early days. I spent too much of that time worrying and now that times gone. If only I had known then what I know now!!!!

The golden day for me was when I finally started following my instincts. It is so hard and confusing in the early days but the best advice I could give you is to try and rise above the confusion, go with the flow, trust your instincts and trust your baby to show you what she needs- and give it to her. Everything else will fall into place on its own.

Good luck and enjoy your baby! She'll be running around the house with a saucepan on her head stolen from kitchen cupboard by this time next year!

CUDDLE HER .... 3 weeks, too young to leave to cry ... you won't 'spoil' a young baby ...

only leave her to cry for as long as it takes you to get to her and pick her up. she still thinks she is you- don't let her cry.