Really struggling.

[LucyB1]

My 4.5 month old dd I'd taking so long to settle after her feeds. Sometimes 2 hours or so. She's not really crying but moaning and very restless. I have tried leaving her but its soooo hard. It's so frustrating!

Perhaps she's not ready for sleep at those times, or alternatively she could be overtired? What is her typical day like in terms of feeds and sleeps?

We are in no routine during the day. She is breast fed on demand. Sometimes will only sleep for 20 mins. Sometimes over an hour. Seems to make no difference. She goes to bed fine initially. Us generally after the half 10 feed and sometimes the 4 I clock one that she is difficult to settle.

could she be a bit colicky? maybe try using a bit of infacol before feeds

After 3 kids, I still haven't cracked this one. I tend to have either full on colicky kids or at least 'unsettled'.
Do you think she is getting enough food? Does she seem satisfied after each feed?
Have you considered adding a bit of plain baby rice to her diet... maybe once a day a small amount? From 4 months baby rice is ok.
If it's of any comfort, my youngest has been like this. He is 6 months now and it was really around a month ago that he started taking a real nap, like an hour at a time. Before this, he would nap for maybe 20 minutes maximum. It's very hard because you get very little down time.
Do you have a baby gym mat or a vibrating chair/rocker?
Maybe consider a sling as well if you don't already use one. Sometimes wearing a sling around the house will lull baby into a deeper longer sleep and at least allow you to have a cuppa.
My son becomes quite unsettled from 4am. We're up between 5-6am every morning.

Vibrating chair or a sling is a good idea if you haven't tried that yet. Also, if she'll sleep in your pram, can you go out and about for a walk until she falls asleep and then head home?

I disagree that baby rice is going to help. It's just going to take up space in her tummy which could be milk instead. It might even make things more unsettled as it might cause digestive issues and it's just another thing you have to prep and fit in when you're already tired.

Don't get me wrong. She's generally a very easy baby. Is very independent and will play on her own in her cot / gym for quite a while. She vary rarely cries. It's just frustrating when I have 2 hours of trying to get her back to sleep. She's woken particularly early tonight. I am going to try some infacol.

I think my title was a but of middle of the night exaggeration. I'm not really struggling at all. It's just frustrating.

I take that back.

Lucy I could have written this myself! My DD is 4.5 months too and I'm at 1hr45 mins trying to settle her after a 2am wake up. We've also had a 10.30 wake up ( thankfully that only took an hour) and once I do settle her she's unlikely to do more than an hour/1.5 hrs at the most before she wakes again. It really varies but sometimes she can be a nightmare to settle at the start of the night too.

So no advice from me but just to share your situation really. It's hard as everyone I know with similar age babies is getting (much) more sleep and I'm already panicking about returning to work in March...

Thank you for your message mrsA. Here's hoping that 6 months + weaning is the miracle cure that I'm hoping for!!