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Parenting

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Original poster

New house, smaller house, help!

18 replies

alcyone · 09/10/2006 22:19

What do you do when all your hard earned cash goes on your mortgage? Sell up and downsize. Well that's we are doing...this friday. We have sold our fairly spacious 4 bedroomed house for a 2 bedroom cottage. Seemed like a good idea at the time, spare cash, quality family time, less diy and gardening, all the usual excuses, when in actual fact we have been mortgaged up to our eyeballs. DD and DD currently share a double bedroom out of choice but come friday they will have to share a double bedroom, they are aged 6 and 7..... starting to worry now about the descions we've made.Any of you lovely ladies got sucsess stories about sharing? Friends and family have all been really negative.

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gingernutlover · 10/10/2006 08:20

sorry that yuour family and freinds haven't been supportive.

it sounds like you are thinking about all the things that actually matter in a family "quality family time" so I'm sure you'll work through any teething problems

your dd's may take some time to get used to the idea but hey it's happening and they will be fine in time.

My dad and his 3 brothers all shared a bedroom - 2 sets of bunk beds and had a whale of a time apparently. He says they would lay there at night doing cat sounds until their dad came charging up the stairs demanding the cat get out in the garden, then he would say "you lot get my goat, you do" and they would do goat noises

so sounds like it worked for them!

gingernutlover · 10/10/2006 08:21

I am sure your dd's are only sweetness and light and woukd not play games like this!

Original poster

alcyone · 10/10/2006 08:29

Ha ha, that made me laugh, sounds like a great game.....thanks, i think i just need to let things be and not stress too much.... easier said than done.Thanks gingernutlover.

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alcyone · 10/10/2006 08:43

I'm so scared. MIL is helping us move,and it will be friday 13 (superstitious, me?)Mil is the worst culprit....keeps saying "will u have enough space?" the best was "where will i sit?" She says it in a really disaproving way. Roll on friday.

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QueenQuootieSpookypieBee · 10/10/2006 08:49

my sister and I shared a room for many many years and it teaches respect, sharing etc. My friend (now at uni) still shares with a younger sister (20 & 17) and ive never known a problem My mum shared with 3 other sisters!

pablopatito · 10/10/2006 08:54

I've never been, but from what I hear, people in the South often live in small dwellings and I'm not aware that they're any less happy than us Northerners with lots of space. So I'm sure you'll be fine.

noddyholder · 10/10/2006 08:57

Better to have the time and money with your family while you can than to struggle with finance and be miserable.We downsized although we went from a house to a maisonette which is far bigger than the house Two girls sharing a room is fine Ignore your negative friends my parents and a few friends were the same but we are a lot happier without the pressure hth

sleepingbag · 10/10/2006 09:18

I always shared a room with one or both of my two sisters... we had a great time...well ok sometimes things did get a bit mad (ie soaking each others beds with water) .My children will share a room even if we do have more.I don't get why it is so important for kids to have there own room anyway.

thehairybabysmum · 10/10/2006 09:25

I moved on April 13th to house no 13 and all went fab so i wouldnt worry about the superstitious stuff. My hubby shared a room with 2 brothers when he was younger with no problems (although i bet it smelt...3 boys!!)

GoingQuietlyMad · 10/10/2006 09:35

I think you are very wise. You can always increase the mortgage again when the children are older. You can't get these years back and what is the point spending them in misery with an unmanageable mortgage?

We live in a 2 bed flat (london - so it figures). We could have bought and mortgaged to the hilt, but instead have decided to keep the smaller mortgage and stay put.

It will be fine - you get used to what you have. There are some bonuses with living in a small space as well. It is easier to hear what is going on with the children. You don't have as much housework. And energy bills, council tax are lower.

I feel that our perceptions of what we need in terms of space are very influenced by the culture we live in. House prices have gone beyond all reasonable levels - too much for a family to afford, so good for you for being sensible.

Original poster

alcyone · 10/10/2006 09:37

Thanks for advice everyone, it will be nice without worrying about money, and material stuff, always wanted to be Barbara from The good Life when i was small,nows my chance,and i guess if i'm happy then the DD'S will be happy.

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jumbled · 10/10/2006 09:39

We're doing the same - DH just left the army and we cannot afford anything like the size we used to live in, so buying a small cottage - 3 bed, and DS and DS (7 and 5) will have to share. They have actually been sharing since Christmas to prepare them, and there have really been no problems, and when we have guests DD shares with them too. Most of their friends have ginormous houses (playrooms bigger than our house), but so far no problems. Good luck with the move. After the army I am really looking forward to not doing any for a while!

Original poster

alcyone · 10/10/2006 09:42

Going quietlymad.....you have just summed up everything i have tried to explain to all those negative people around me...Thankyou thankyou thankyou!

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Gem13 · 10/10/2006 09:53

We moved from a 5 bedroom house back into our original 3 bedroom with 2 children and soon we will have a third joining us....

Our 2 moved in together last week (4 and 2.5) and it's working really well. We've now freed up the third bedroom for their toys and in a few months it will become the baby's room (after a mega clear out).

The move was such a good idea. It's walking (rather than driving) distance to school, significantly less money worries and less time spent mowing the bloomin' lawn. In the summer it used to take DH a quarter of the weekend (every weekend) to mow and tidy - never mind growing or planting things or actually enjoying it.

We are certainly a lot happier here - we've learnt that bigger doesn't necessarily equal better.

Oh... and DD was born on a Friday 13th and she is adorable!

Hope it doesn't rain!

Original poster

alcyone · 10/10/2006 10:10

Gem13, congrats on your new arrival to be, it's nice to know that other people are in the same position. When we bought our current house i loved the garde, spent all weekend weeding etc, oh so proud! 4 years on, when giving fence annual stain treatment, i actually stopped and though....why am i doing this? Dh never goes in the garden, children always moaned that i was not paying them any attention, wanted to know why i was always gardening, nobody else really cared what it looked like, it was like a revelation. Looking forward to spending10 minutes tending to pots in small courtyard and then spending day on beach (live near the coast).I am so pleased it worked for you.

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GoingQuietlyMad · 11/10/2006 08:56

just want to add agreement re the garden. we have a tiny little garden at the back. before we had children we were obsessed with gardening and always wanted a bigger space.

but now because we have such a small patch, it is really easy to keep it under control. we would never have the time to do this with a bigger garden with two little ones. when they are small you don't want to spend all your time gardening. i can happily wait till i retire before doing the gardeners world thing!

pointyfangedWeredog · 11/10/2006 09:50

Of course it's a good idea if it frees up some of your cash! My girls share a room and enjoy chattin gto each other before they go to sleep. I remember there was some research a few years back (sheesh what isn;t there reasearch on) about the social benefits of kids sharing a room.

The only issue that comes up is when they have friends about but it's just a case of telling them which group of kids is to be in which bit of the house (their bedroom, my bedroom, living room). And if there's loads of them about I send one group out to play on a last in, first out basis.

Original poster

alcyone · 11/10/2006 15:43

Well, only 1 day to go to the move. I'ts great to have so much moral support. Funny how so many people asking "are you sure you are doing the right thing etc etc?" makes you seriously doubt your own decisions.More or less packed, had to get rid of loads of 'stuff'.The girls are excited....'only 2 more sleeps' DH keeps saying "not much to do now is there" He has actually been saying this for the last ten weeks,not sure we share the same planet.Our buyers are already local, they told me yesterday that they will be paying 3 times as much monthly on this house, if it gets too much they will move again!.....it's all complete madness

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