potty training nightmare-help!

[nicky111]

My DD is 27 months and I started potty training a week ago thinking it would be easy as she is an easy going kid. Anyway that's what I thought but in reality she has become more and more stubborn and upset about siting on the potty to the point where she would rather pee on the floor next to the potty than sit on it. And she will not go near the toilet. Have tried bribes - star chart, biscuits, stories, games etc on the potty and she is ok with that in the morning. but most of the timne she just wees on the floor. I am feeling exhausted and stressed with this and admit I have got exasperated with her at times. we have had some successes though - one day we had three wees in the pot - but I had to work really hard for those. Anyway the upshot of this overlong email is should I put her back in nappies or persevere? My potty training book, by a well known chilcare guru, predicts dire consequences for parents who do this...what do you think?

I think you should throw the book by the well-known childcare guru away. One size doesn't fit all, and if she's not ready then it doesn't matter how hard you try, she won't get it.

She's very young, and it really doesn't sound as if she's ready at all. Being easy-going has nothing to do with it; if she doesn't have the physical or emotional maturity to be able to control her bladder then there's nothing you can do.

Give yourself and her a break and put her back in nappies. Try again in a few months time - maybe a bit closer to 3 than to 2 might be a better age to try.

thankyou - I think that is what I wanted to hear as it is startinbg tio upset both of us. Am due another baby at Christmas and was hoping to get het out of nappies before - but maybe it would be better nearer three..

Hello, well I'm not exactly equipped to say much as I haven't yet successfully got my child through potty training. However just thought I'd share this: he's 3 in December and during the last 2 days has taken to stripping off, walking to the bathroom and using the potty without us doing anything! Amazing turnaround for a child who hasn't until now taken the slightest interest in it, we gave up months ago. So I think our time has come, which many people told us would happen, and I guess it might work well to be guided by your daughter? By the way, you can laugh at me in 6 months time when I tell you it all blew over & he's still in nappies...

I 'trained' both of mine when they were really ready - DD when she was about 2y9mths and DS is only doing it now when he is 3.5! I tried with him before he was 3 and it was a disaster with poo going all over the place - 'plomp plomp plomp poo on the floor' and that was the third lot in the space of 10 minutes. I'm so glad I gave up and waited. He's been nappy-free since thursday now and we've only had a couple of accidents. Why make life harder for yourself than it already is with a small child?

my instinct tells me to stop and try again later - from the sound of it, it really shouldn't be this difficult. I think you are right - the best thing is to take my cue from her and when she shows an interest casually start it again. I think she senses my tension and is desperate to please and terrified of doing it wrong. She is so deliughted with herself when she manages it. I think it's time to take the pressure off.

My ds did become very scared. He kept saying he wasn't clever enough so I'm glad I left it and he is now very pleased with himself.

Also, he has become a cheeky monkey in the meantime so has already managed to grow the reward from a smarty to a marshmallow and was trying to persuade me that a jaffa cake would be better for each wee! He went about half a dozen times this morning and managed something each time to get extra rewards!! I'll have to stop them fairly quickly.

In my experience - for what its worth - if you wait till they are ready, all can be accomplished fairly swiftly with the minimum of fuss. If you are having problems and upset - they are not ready. Wait a bit, it isn't a race.