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Parenting

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Original poster

Dummy trouble

10 replies

becaroo · 08/10/2006 10:29

My son has had a dummy since birth (long story...feeding problems..no suck reflex..hospital put him on dummy at 4 days old. ) When he got to 3 I decided enough was enough and he only had it at bedtime, which was fine. However...since starting nursery 3 weeks ago he seems to want it all the time and gets genuinely distressed when I refuse. It might be because he is so worn out from nursery and he associates the dummy with sleep and comfort. At a loss to know how to get him off the damn thing. Any ideas? (and please.......no diatribes for letting him have the dummy in the first place....it really did help his suck reflex as he was born early)

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foulmoonfiend · 08/10/2006 10:35

You'll get no diatribe from me! Dummies saved my son's life (I would have cheerfully thrown him out of the window after 2 months of terrible colic and b/f on demand and being used as a human dummy every 20 mins...)

But yes, hard to get rid of them. With my first son, I indulged him and he had it at bedtime only util he was 4, then one night we lost the last one in the house - we endured an awful night - and then he was cured!

2nd son was colicky and clingy too so we used a dummy but this time, I bit the bullet and got rid on his 2nd birthday. One or two nights of horror and then never looked back.

Be strong

belgo · 08/10/2006 10:43

Let him have it for now. He is only three years old and is going through many changes with nursery. If he finds it a comfort, let him keep it, and once he's settled down, try and take it away from him again, maybe try and find something else that he associates sleep with.

belgo · 08/10/2006 10:45

Forgot to say, my dd has just started nursery as well, and is finding the changes to her routine very difficult to adapt to, at times I really wish we had a dummy to comfort her.

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NastyNemo666 · 08/10/2006 10:46

Dh had a dummy until he was five and it didnt cause any problems. Ds wasnt interested after 3 mths which was annoying but DD is one of those babies who wants to have a dummy in each hand and one in her mouth..lol I would leave him until he is more settled then maybe try the fairies taking the dummy for other babies approach in a while.

3littlefrogs · 08/10/2006 11:19

One big change in a 3 year old's life is enough at one time. Going to nursery is quite enough to cope with for now - I would let him have his dummy until he is happy and settled at nursery, then gently try again. In the grand scheme of things it really isn't a big deal. Don't worry.

Kidstrack · 08/10/2006 11:27

hi becaroo, my dd is 3.4yrs and as soon as nursery has finished her thumb is straight into her mouth, yes its a comfort thing and she has done since birth, she only does this at that time and bed time(don't kow when i'll try to wean her off her thumb), only thing i can suggest is maybe at christams time try trading his dummy, i.e posting to santa and santa brings his toys, this worked for my sister and her 2 ds's

Original poster

becaroo · 08/10/2006 13:35

Thanks guys...feel a bit better now. The other day at nursery he was crying for his dummy when I picked him up and saying he needed rest (!?) and when I gave it to him two of the other mums looked at me like I had just snapped his arm off or something! Get so fed up of this atttitude of some mums to dummies...makes you feel like a bad mother! Nastynemo666 - My dh used to have a dummy in his mouth and one in each hand too and my sister in law had one at night till she was 6 so maybe its a genetic thing!

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sanchpanch · 08/10/2006 13:53

my dd still has a dummy age 3, she stopped having it for 2 weeks then we very poorly so gave it to her.... thinking of trading with her for presents from santa!!

Tillyboo · 09/10/2006 13:23

We have just managed to wean our dd (2.7) off her dummy too. She only ever had it at bedtimes or when very tired (e.g. while out shopping).
We were dreading it but it hasn't been too bad at all. She still asks for it every now and again but it's only been 4 weeks.
This is what we did :
We'd put her to bed, read a story (distraction), say night night and if the dummy was asked for say 'I'll bring it up in a minute, see if you can be asleep by the time I come back'.
Fortunately this worked. In the morning I'd tell her that the dummy fairies had been and taken them all away but had left a present for her as she'd been such a big girl. I bought a couple of books and small gifts as encouragement.
She also has 2 older cousins that she adores and I'd tell her that they didn't have a dummy either and this seemed to pacify her.

claireh11 · 09/10/2006 17:43

My ds was 2 when we got rid of his. he was another one who liked one in each hand and one in his mouth. he used to sleep with about 10 lined up at top of his cot so he could always reach one in middle of night lol

Sounds horrid but we put most of his dummy's in a big envelope and he posted it in post box to father xmas to give to the babies. The one we let him keep we put nail biting solution on it. He went mad, got a wipe and tried to wipe it off, this didnt work so I simply said to him "the dummys are yucky now, theyre meant to go to the babies". he took me by the hand and put it in the bin. That was it. He knew they werent nice anymore so didnt want one. he did whimper a couple of times but thats it.

We did find for a while it took him much longer to get to sleep which is understandable as he was used to this comfort.

He was just 2 yrs old when we did this and he understood. We tried just letting him have it at sleep times only before this and it was hell, he would cry to go to sleep so he could get the dummy then not go to sleep but be sobbing clinging on to them. This way was much better and we have never looked back.

So nice to be able to have photo's of him without a dummy in his mouth too

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