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Original poster

Shall I throw in the towel?

22 replies

Rhubarb · 06/10/2006 16:28

Potty training ds who will be 3 in Dec. 2 weeks later and he now happily pees and poos in his pants without telling us. Apparently he does go to the toilet at the nursery, they take him at set times, but he still has accidents there, about 2 a day.
He can sit on the potty for 2 hours then he'll get up off it and wee. He's even asked for the nappy to do his wees and poos.

Shall I just give up and try at a later stage?

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frumpygrumpy · 06/10/2006 16:30

Yeah. Take all the stress away from everyone and start again later. Don't give a damn what anyone else says or does, he'll be ready when he's ready. He's probably ready now, he just doesn't want to do what everyone else wants him too and I see that as a strength!!

Chandra · 06/10/2006 16:34

Try later, he doesn't seem ready yet, although I'm imnpressed that he can sit on the potty for that long!

Original poster

Rhubarb · 06/10/2006 16:36

He just peed again whilst I was typing that!

I truly am fed up of washing and washing and washing and the carpet smelling of piss etc etc. He's run out of trousers loads of times now. But the nursery advise against giving up and I just don't know what to do for the best.

He does have control because he can hold it for ages and I think he just likes the comfort of a nappy. He is very immature for his age and likes being a baby still.

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Original poster

Rhubarb · 06/10/2006 16:42

Advice please? Will I be making a rod for my own back if I give up now? He is incredibly lazy and I think that is the reason he is not asking for the potty, but I am convinced that physically at least he is ready. He's bloody old enough!

OP posts:

Original poster

Rhubarb · 06/10/2006 16:48

(help?)

(please?)

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 06/10/2006 16:51

He doesn't sound ready to me. I'd say give up for now, leave it a couple of months, then try again. Take the pressure of you and him.

Don't let the nursery bully either of you into forcing him into something he's not ready for yet.

3monkeys · 06/10/2006 16:52

Give up!
My DS1 was well over 3. I tried him a few times earlier and had to give up. He would watch a whole teletubbies video on the potty with no result and then wee on the floor!

Chandra · 06/10/2006 16:52

No, you will be enjoying your last days of peace when you don't have to run for a toilet as if your life depended on that.

We had two difficult weeks with DS, plenty of accidents, refusing to sit on the potty, and running around like headless chickens if he said "I need to wee"

We decided to leave it for a few weeks and second time trying he was clean and dry within 3 days with just 2 incidents on the first day. He was also able to hold for longer so, no more headless chicken running. Easy peasy

Original poster

Rhubarb · 06/10/2006 16:56

Thanks, I think I'll take your advice and leave it then for a few weeks. It would take a lot of pressure off us all!

OP posts:

lukenjoesmummy · 06/10/2006 17:14

My ds is exactly the same, he's 3 and 3 months and I've tried and given up countless times. I've now resigned myself to the fact that he'll be in nappies until he's 25 !!!

crayon · 06/10/2006 17:44

According our our health visitor, 3 isn't actually that old for a boy, it's just that people stop talking about it at that age, so you think everyone else has potty trained easily.

I'd leave it, perhaps until after Christmas.

Crayon

curlew · 06/10/2006 18:13

3eave it. He'll ge ther when he's ready. My ds was nearly 4 and not at all interested but suddenly noticed his friends were going to the loo and wanted to do the same. Which he did - no problem. Don't quite understand the 'rod for your own back" - what's a worse rod than wet carpets, pooy pants and having to think about loos all the time!

Original poster

Rhubarb · 06/10/2006 19:40

But today I met a little boy who was the same age as ds and he has been potty-trained since July. In fact, apart from you guys I've yet to meet a toddler of the same age who is still in nappies!

He did do a big wee tonight on his potty but you could tell he was trying to hold it in as it started to hurt him and he was crying out, eventually he could hold it no longer and it came out and we did the whole clapping thing. But this is what it gets to, he will hold his wee if he is on the potty!

I'll back off for a few weeks and start again. I just know that ds is lazy and would much prefer to be in nappies all the time, he'd still be spoon-fed if he could! He doesn't want to walk anywhere and really is happy being a baby. I fear that giving in to him will cause more problems in the future.

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Aero · 06/10/2006 19:50

Ds2 will be three in Jan and he's no more ready than I am to train him. think he'll train himself when the time is right for him. He's getting the idea, and will wee in the potty if I let him runaround with no nappy on. For poos though, he runs away and hides upstairs, signifying that he knows it's coming, but he needs privacy and is a bit embarrassed with the whole pooing in the potty under mummy's watchful eye thing! I feel that when the time comes that he wants to wear 'big boy' pants, then he'll get it together in a very short time.

sunnydelight · 06/10/2006 19:57

Give yourself a break. Both my boys were nearly three when they were potty trained (but then they were dry and clean, day and night within a week), but as everyone had told me girls were quicker I was getting a bit freaked when DD was approaching her 3rd birthday with no sign of wanting a potty. We did all the usual stuff - sat her on it, books etc. and DH was constantly "suggesting" I did it more seriously with her. After a miserable week of trying to force the issue I gave up, stopped talking about it and just cheerfully changed her nappies (used pull ups). 5 days after her third birthday ..... "I want to use the potty". Sorted by the end of the week. That was 8 months ago and she has NEVER had an accident since. Relax, he'll get there eventually. I'm beginning to think "competitive potty training" should be a new Olympic sport

jalopy · 06/10/2006 20:03

I waited with both of my sons until they were nearly 3 yrs old. Managed to train them really quickly with no major setbacks. Did the same for my daughter too. Well worth the wait, imo.

Caribbeanqueen · 06/10/2006 20:08

Dd was trained at 3.5 - did it in a week.

Previously, we tried for about 3 months hen she was 2.7 as all her friends seemed to be potty-trained and it was just torture for her and for us.

Give up, have a break and come back to it later.

Original poster

Rhubarb · 06/10/2006 20:13

Thanks everyone!

That is what I shall do and if anyone questions it I shall say "It is what the court of Mumsnet decreeded - are you daring to disagree with the might of the court of Mumsnet????"

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marthamoo · 06/10/2006 20:15

Bit late - but I'm with the chorus of "leave it"! Both my boys were 3+ before I even attempted it.

frumpygrumpy · 06/10/2006 20:25

In the grand scale of it, his age and nappies are fine. Once my DD was out of day nappies she wore night ones until well over 4. Nursery shouldn't pressure you either. Go easy on all of you, take the path of least resistance.

Chandra · 06/10/2006 22:15

Many people train very early and then spent half of the day taking their toddlers to the toilet... they can hold for long at that age.

Oh, and many competitive mums lie, I have seen woman claiming their girls were potty trained from one year when I remember clearly seeing them changing nappies long after then. My MIL for example potty trained all her kids by 12m, her sister potty trained hers at 5 or 6 m and her MIL potty trained my FIL so good that he was capable to say "I need a wee" at 8m! .

Obviously I kept silent and got the thinest nappies I could find every time we visited the inlaws.

Chandra · 06/10/2006 22:16

can't hold for long!

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