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2 1/2 year old with separation anxiety-Please help

7 replies

MargotTenenbaum · 06/10/2006 16:13

Ds is 2 1/2 and is going through his 3 bout of separation anxiety. His first bout was at 9 months then again at around 20 months. It was always over me. Now he is going through another but not only over me but Dh as well. He has the most upsetting tantrums everytime one of us leaves the house.He just screams himself hoarse and he throws himself on the floor and bangs his head on the door. We're worried that he could really hurt himself. I don't understand why this is happening but we're finding it very stressful. Has this happened to anyone else? How did you deal with it? Please help.

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fransmom · 07/10/2006 12:33

hi mt my dd is younger and has had a few minor bouts of sa. the only way we could get through the first one was to play hide and seek with her and keep calling to her, then going back in the room where she was.

she doesn't really like going to bed cos of being by herself, the way round that one was any time we heard her whimpering (sp?) was to go back as soon as we heard her to reassure her that we were still there and then to leave it gradually longer and longer.

when dp was going to work, the back door is by our kitchen window (we live on gf in flats) so me and dd used to run to kitchen window to wave bye to him (i used to carry her and say quick quick quick) and she used to wave while i was saying "daddy going to work, back soon" and when she would say daddy?" later on, i just used to repeat the same again.

with both of us working, i sometimes have to take her to a cm which i'm not keen on but have to work unfortunately. she will soemtimes try and get out the front door at cm's but me and cm have now picked her up and i tell her that i'm going to work but daddy or me will see her later and go without making fuss or letting her know that we're upset too. the cm will then distract her with toys or cuddles if she needs them and she's usually ok after that she's said.

the best way is to keep calm and to reassure your ds and distracting him. we can't sneak out of house cos she found that one out! but we can leave her sitting on settee (if her cartoons are on) while we go to another room and then come back when we say we will.

sorry for long post but hth x let me know how you get on

fm x

MargotTenenbaum · 07/10/2006 16:43

Thanks FM. I'll see how I get on this week. Dh is going away on business so it's going to be a challenge. Hopefully, it's not too traumatic but I'll let you know what happens.

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fransmom · 07/10/2006 22:27

good luck i think the key is to reassure them that you will return. hope all goes well for you both next week love fm x

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nulnulcat · 07/10/2006 23:12

dd keeps having phases of this she is now nearly 3 and the last 6 months have been hell! i couldnt even go to the toilet without hysterics!! and then all of a sudden it stopped last week! and she has managed to stay in her own bed for 3 nights now! she will probably do it again in a few months but what im trying to say is i know its horrible but just stick with it and give them lots of reassurance then all of a sudden they are over it

fransmom · 08/10/2006 20:23

how was bedtime tonight? dd wouldn't even let dp take her into bathroom to brush her teeth. i had to tell her that he was ok and wouldn't hurt her and i still had to go in bathroom with her but once she was in there she was okay and even said bye-bye to me. she in bed at moment chatting again! hope you okay MargotTenenbaum fmx

MargotTenenbaum · 09/10/2006 10:09

I'm ok. We've done well. He spoke to Dh on the phone last night and I've just explained to him that Daddy went away to work and he'd be home soon. He did cry quite a bit when he left but no violent behaviour this time. He seems quite happy today and that makes me calmer as well. I have a Dr's appointment today and a friend of mine is having him for an hour. I'm hoping that he isn't too much trouble.

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fransmom · 10/10/2006 21:40

how did you get on yesterday? it's hard to break what can develop into a vicious circle but it seems like you on the right track

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