littlelamb are you there?

[nappyaddict]

a while back i posted something about having a baby at uni and you said that you had your DD at the end of your first year and your parents lived quite a way away. was your dp living with you, cos i'm single so i am worried it will be much harder when he comes to live with me. also my friend has just found out she is pregnant and is living in halls. were you living in halls when you fell pregnant?

ok just found the thread and you are single too. did you have a lot of friends who helped you and supported you? i'm really scared i'll feel really lonely and left out of everything. my email address is pink__diamonds at hotmail.com it'd be cool to chat to you some time!

Hi Yes, I did have my dd at the end of my first year. I was studying English full time and fell pregnant literally the last day before I came to uni so it was very unexpected. I was living in halls, but waited until just before the Christmas holidays to tell anyone there as I was so scared of their reactions. As it turns out they had already guessed and were such great support to me I wish I'd told them sooner. If you are having a difficult time make an appointment with the counsellors at uni, they are there to help and priority will be given to someone in your situation. I was single, and my parents live 300 miles away, which actually works fine for me since we are not exactly close. dds father has made some half-arsed attempts to see her but again this works fine for me.I was lucky to make friends with the other student parents. There should be a student parent rep at your uni, and if there isn't one consider running for the position yourself! As for your friend, just try and encourage her to be as honest as possible. Keeping secrets only makes you more isolated and can really mess up your head. x

you know when you had to move into a house in 2nd year did you get a house by yourself or with other students?

By myself. Just not a viable option to share with other students, not least becasue no landlord would allow it. Not a good environment for a baby either

why wouldn't a landlord allow it?i am planning on moving in with my friend sophie at uni and possibly one other girl but if what you say is right i may have to think of alternative plans.

purely because landlords of student houses are different to most landlords and vice versa. The typical student house just isnt suitable for a baby, and most residential landlords who would accept a baby don't want students! Its something you will seriously have to consider. But if you are a student you are entitled to housing benefit so it really wouldn't be financially draining to get a place on your own.

oh right, so am i legally obliged to tell the landlord if a baby is living there. i was just thinking because what if you rented from them and then fell pregnant - surely they couldn't then chuck you out cos a baby would be living there? i suppose also they wouldn't know if me and my friend were students or not.

It's just not best to lie to a landlord - I am now working at a lettings agent and the checks they make when you apply to rent a property would expose you- not least because you would have no income aside from a student loan and no employers reference. It is never a good idea to lie to your landlord. Its not that they would have a problem with a baby as such, but they would have a problem if you lied to them. You would just never be able to get away with telling those kind of lies to a landlord. To be honest, I think that in this situation it would be much better for you to tell the truth. In my experience, a landlord is far more likely to rent you his house if you tell him you are a parent at university than a parent on benefits. Not necessarily fair, but that is the way it is. The landlord I rented off when I moved out of halls when I was 38 weeks pregnant had specified no children and no benefits, but I was upfront with him and the estate agents about my situation and because of that they were able to help me. And I still have to say that I think moving in with friends would be a bad idea. I have two friends who were both student parents at uni who moved in together and it caused them no end of needless stress. I think you should start looking for places on your own, perhaps asking your student parent rep to accompany you to the estate agents to give you a bit of support. And please, please don't lie to a landlord. It would only end badly, which when a child is involved is just not fair.

just bumping this thread cos i have found a flat for me and ds as you suggested and have made an application for housing benefit. what percentage do they usually pay?