Managing the evenings

[redballoon3]

Hi Mumsnetters

I have a 10 week old baby and am struggling a bit with what to do with her of an evening. The days are fine - we go for walks, go to baby groups, feed, play, she sleeps, sits in a chair/ lies on her playmat while I get on with things etc. All very lovely.

The evenings are much more difficult as she tends to be a bit fussy and tired but won't settle to sleep until around 9/ 9.30pm. In between this she's cluster feeding, we do a bath, read a story and try to wind down, but it's potentially four hours of winding down, which is rather exhausting! And in between all these things, she tends to cry and be fussy and refuses to be put in her chair, for example, she just wants to be held.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I might change this a bit so it's more manageable? And potentially so she's settling down to sleep a bit earlier? I know 10 weeks is still very young, so perhaps I need to be just going with the flow for now, but I'd be interested in your thoughts all the same.

Thanks in advance

tbh I'd just let her feed. I'll start by admitting that I formula fed both my dc so know next to nothing about breastfeeding; I've read on here though that by around 12-16 weeks they stop cluster feeding so much and that their night-sleep gradually gets earlier.
I think, in your situation, I would just go with the flow for now and just settle in with the baby, a nice cuppa and a good book.
By all means, read a story and sing and try to wind down but don't expect it to become anything like a routine yet - that will fall into place later on.

Start by trying to start the evening routine (Inc feeding) just 15mins earlier and putting to bed 15mins earlier. Once thats working move it another 15mins and so on. (DS was massive cluster feeder 6-11pm and at six weeks we started moving everything earlier by 15mins a time, until we got to a time we were happy with. It worked for us.)

At 10 weeks I was letting DD cluster feed after her bath while I watched the TV and chatted to DH. Every time she needed a burp or fussed but refused boob, DH held her so I could stretch my legs / have a wee / get a drink. She naturally started to conk out on me earlier and earlier and I would put her down sooner until we get into a tighter routine. I can't remember what age that was though!

I did the winding down thing in her room. With just me and baby and nightlight and Mumsnet . Took about 2-3 months tho . 3-4 hours to settle was about right In house tho. I think the cluster feeding unsettled their tummy although they need the extra milk to sleep at night just takes awhile for their tummy a to get used to it x

I'll be honest. At 10 weeks DD1 and 2 would just scream the house down so I used to cut my losses, put ear plugs in and go to bed while DH did the jiggle soothe dance for a few hours, armed with a bottle.
I don't think either had a bedtime routine until 3/4 months.

I could have written this post OP!
Watching with interest
I do like the 15 minutes earlier solution sounds good.
DS is 10 weeks & cluster feeds until about 11!!!
Its good to hear that in the next 4-5 weeks it get better!xxx

My DD was like this at 10 weeks too - so fussy, only wanted to be held...sometimes outright screaming fits ! I realised this was the time when I was trying to give her to my DP or my MIL so I could have some dinner or have a rest/sleep....One night I just kept her one me/on the boob all evening and just let her feed, sleep on me, be held by me only and not be passed to anyone else...put her in a sling to eat...and she was happy as larry ...no screaming or crying at all. Soon after this she started falling asleep and staying asleep at 9pm so I started doing a bedtime routine like you are...to reinforce this 9pm bedtime. Then gradually started starting the routine earlier and earlier and now she has a 7/7.30pm bedtime and we have our evenings back ! It just took time though, when she let me know she was ready ie. she stopped wanting to do the cluster feeding. I also stopped doing last feeds infront of telly & in the light of the house..ended up in her bedroom after bath and stayed there with night light on feeding her to sleep.