This is so fucking hard and DH is still on Paternity Leave

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

DS is 11 days old. DD is 2.10. We went for lunch and to the supermarket today and it was just HARD. Buggy, two kids, one carseat and a changebag to get into the car....how am I meant to do that on my own?

DD has outgrown her naps but is still tired come 4pm. We did an hours painting with her this afternoon and she just wasnt into.it. Early bath (due to paints) had four sets of tears.

I need to get the tea on. DH is currently trying to keep DD going until a more reasonable bedtime. Poor DS had a bottle shoved in his mouth and a bum change half an hour ago.and is now in his basinette.

I shouted at dd, dd cried, again. Im crying.

Wtf am I going to.do when dh goes back towork?!

You went out for lunch and then to a supermarket, with an 11 day old baby, and a toddler?

Of course you found it bloody hard!

Not read all responses so apologies if repeats.

My dd was 2 years 2 weeks when ds born.

Dd woke him up early each morning so for first couple of month he had a three hour sleep each morning so I used that time to do fun stuff with her and spend some quality time together.

She also went to nursery two days a week.

I kept our lives very local and used the car whenever I could.

I didn't care how many biscuits or how much tv dd ate and watched for a bit.

I considered it a good day (or moment) if only two out of three of is were crying by time dh got home from work.

I never cooked dinner until they were asleep and if dh home he did it.

It gets easier. X

Once your DH is back at work, and you get into a daily routine, it will be much, much easier.

Either shop on line, or shop alone at the weekend while your DH has the DC, so he can spend some time alone with them.

Don't worry about messy activities atm...and when nursery starts, you can forget about them altogether, unless you really want to be creative. Go out in the morning somewhere fun, and then have afternoons at home, with maybe a little/walk trip to the park.

Definitely have some quite time after lunch instead of a nap. Even if it's just a CBeebies. It will give you a bit of a break.

I can sympathise - my two are 2.6 and 9 weeks, and honestly I was in tears more than once during DH's paternity leave worrying about how I would manage alone. There are some great tips here already, but I'll add some of mine:-

I try to get out every day, usually in the morning. Sometimes we go to the playground, but more often to a social activity - breastfeeding group, or rhyming and singing at the library - which allows my very boisterous DS1 to run off energy and me to see other adults. If I can't get out I try to arrange people to visit me. I shop online, take any offers of help I get and try to prep everything i can in advance - from laying out clothes and sorting out lunches the night before, to deciding on activities if it rains.

Finally, be kind to yourself. Sit down with a cup of tea when you can, do minimum housework and accept that you only have one pair of hands. Extra TV, takeaways once in a while and early nights are all perfectly reasonable ways of surviving life with two small children!

Forgot to add - you will manage :)

I have a six month baby and 2 year old (18 months when brother born) My advice would be - don't bath the baby ( advised not to anyway for first two weeks for newborn) certainly doesn't need it daily until six weeks or so when you may want to do it to start establishing bedtime routines.
Get a sling or carrier. I have an ergo which is so handy for wearing baby and still being able to dress/chase/ play with older one.
TV- peppa pig cures everything - download onto iPad and use it liberally!! It's not the end of the work and it makes life so much easier when you are trying to feed baby and need older one to stay close, quiet and out of trouble!
Oh and agree wholeheartedly about online shops! Good luck it gets easier I promise!

Agree. Wtf are you going to a supermarket for

Online food shopping! Make the most of it.

Sloooooow down

Small steps. Your job is to feed baby and placate toddler. Think of it as hibernating together.

But if it gets too much a simple trip to the park to jump in puddles and chase birds is great.

Oh and play doh saved my sanity (I had three under five)

Just want to echo everyone else, it's only 11 days in. Small teeny tiny baby steps at this stage while you all get used to each other and the newbie. Playdoh, tv, dvds, online food shops, preprepared food and drinks and just be. There are no medals for climbing Everest at this stage

Congratulations on your new little one by the way, enjoy those new squidgey snuggles!

I agree about it being harder when dp is around in some ways as messes routine. And I am not a routine person.

Also agree re don't bother bathing baby.

I used to sit in armchair in dd room at her bedtime breastfeeding ds. Then when he fell asleep on me I would be able to read dd her story and have a chat before she fell asleep.

She was still napping when ds born though until he was 6 months so I'd get them both to sleep in car and then pull in and close my eyes myself.

Also I arranged as many playdates at people's houses as possible of friends I knew well enough that I could sit there feeding while the older kids played.