Preparing DCs for Grandparent death (1 with Aspergers)

[ScarletFever]

ok - theres probably loads and loads of threads about this, but i cant be doing searching now at this time

My step-father is currently in hospital and they are talking palliative care - are there any tips for preparing the DCs (12 with Aspergers and 9) about whats happening

i told them when he went in to hospital, and updated them this morning with the news that its not good (he is in his 80's and has cancer and possible vascular dementia)... but want to make it as easy as possible...

any thoughts?

Straightforward and to the point - gently.

My son has Aspergers and always appreciates me being honest with him - and can tell a falsehood a mile away.

be honest!

explain that he is very sick and that when yiu get that sick sometimes the kindest thing is to stop trying to make him better and let him slip away.

Take them to see him in hospital. Also, talk to the palliative care team as they will be able to advise you.

We have lost two people recently (my close friend and my brother). DS2 (12, with AS) coped far better with both deaths than the rest of us did, even though he was very close to both. Both deaths were sudden and unexpected, so we didn't have the option of preparing any of the children. They have all coped much better than I would have imagined.

thanks all

Children are much better at coping with death than you'd think. So long as their every day routine is basically the same they will be fine. I'd tell them that grandpa is very poorly and the doctors think he might not get better and then answer any questions they have. And if they have no questions, don't be surprised - they might come later or not at all, just move on with the conversation.