Am I depriving my child by not exposing her to TV, Ipad etc?

[FeralGirlCambs]

It's not some kind of super-strict matter of principle and not smuggery inverted as fake concern. I'm not very concerned, in fact, but just wondering... We don't tend to have the TV on in the day (though DH and I slump in front of any old crap after dinner) so she hasn't watched it at home for about 6 months. She's 3 and 4 months. In the winter we did the odd half hour of Night Garden if everyone was bored on Sunday evening. She never asks for TV, though it's on sometimes at her childminder's where she goes once a week. She hasn't watched any films (eg Frozen) and doesn't identify with the characters from them, though Peppa pig has books/fromage frais/clothing ranges etc so she's crossed the radar! And I don't think this is a bad thing. DD has lots of other reference points - books, toys etc. I have an ipad which sometimes when I'm being bad mummy I sneakily check email on while supposedly playing with DD / giving her her lunch / 'enjoying' my umpteenth cup of plastic tea and pretend biscuit from DD. I work from home and she likes my desktop computer because the screensaver has all our photos on - the best bit is spotting herself, as far as I can tell. She won't listen to CDs - she loves stories but likes it to be a two-way thing (Mummy, why is the tiger doing that? etc) and has never shown more than a passing interest in the Ipad. I don't have a smart phone and she shows no interest in phones except for speaking to people on them. I know there are supposed to be fabulous apps for children and wonder if she's missing out. As I said, I have no puritanical principle against technology for kids, but a kind of gut feeling against it that I've (we've - my husband feels the same) gone along with because she doesn't demand anything different. She is very active, very imaginative, likes mimicking 'adult' pursuits (cooking, DIY, gardening, cleaning, driving) and knows her numbers/easy sums, but not many letters though she LOVES books and words and has a very good vocabulary, albeit after quite a slow start. My efforts at teaching letters don't really seem to go in, but I'm pretty lazy and assume that she'll learn one day, whether at preschool (she goes 3 days a week) or school. She shows little interest in listening to music unless DH or I is singing along, but makes up her own songs and stories all day long.
Sorry for a long and unfocused post. I'd appreciate any thoughts on whether we SHOULD be exposing her to technology as part of life's rich pageant, or whether it'll come to her soon enough - at school, etc - and it's ok to more or less pretend it doesn't exist for now. I don't really feel I'm technologically-deficient, even though most of it - I mean the kind of stuff I'm talking about, not the wheel – wasn't beginning to be invented till my teens. Thanks!

Thanks again everyone for the replies. I'm especially heartened by Rosethehat's comment about Reception. I wasn't sure if everything might be screen-based these days. Today BAD mummy is somewhat hungover so a dose of Cbeebies might have to be deployed

By trollsworth's argument, I've given my DS a terrible social handicap because he doesn't like films and we don't have Sky or other paid telly so he doesn't watch Ben 10/ninja turtles/spongebob which have always seemed to be v popular with other children.

At your DD's age, although he watched TV I would have let him watch anything other than cbeebies because I hate commercial channels for under 4s so again, you would assume that would contribute to DS being a social pariah. He isn't.

I think her life sounds pretty perfect tbh. She does lots of fab things with you and DH, she watches some TV at the childminders & plays pink princess dress up stuff there, she goes to a pre-school 3 days a week where she will be playing with friends who watch loads of tv and she's loving it there, so clearly not ostracised for her lack of Disney knowledge

It's not as though she's begging you for the TV, iPad, Disney stuff and you are telling her NO IT IS NOT WORTHY. Long may it last!

The only thing I'd change, is the guilt of using the iPad while you are suffering enjoying another cup of 'tea'. It pays to keep your sanity Besides, that IS what happens in cafes now

I do think there is some merit to technology, and there is definitely something in the argument that they will feel out of it with their friends if they have no knowledge of popular culture of kids their own age when they go to school. Obviously not every kid has seen the same TV shows/films/games as each other but if you haven't seen ANY of them and have no idea what anyone else is talking about then yes I think that's a disadvantage.

Also, when my son was 3 and at pre-school, part of the targets he was supposed to work towards as part of the Early Years curriculum included things like using a mouse on the computer, so these skills are now considered important from a young age as they will inevitably feature in large portions of work and play throughout school and work life.

To Rosethehat, er yes there ARE screens in Reception, they use the interactive whiteboard all the time, and have daily access to computers. Just like the rest of the civilised world in fact.

In case you are wondering, I am well aware there is more to life than technology, and my kids have huge numbers of books, and enjoy lots of other activities as well as screen time, which I do limit.

DS went to school without having watched any superhero programmes, or knowing what a transformer is, or any of the "typical" cultural references for boys. Within a couple of weeks, he and his friends were karate fighting, talking about Optimus Prime like he was their best friend and generally living in a world beyond my ken (Thomas the Tank Engine was quickly forgotten).

I think they learn it by osmosis, and it didn't seem to matter that he has never actually seen any of the shows they were talking about. There was no bullying, but no avoiding it either.

And technology skills have been part of EYFS in nurseries and reception classes for a long time.

I am We are gadget freaks in this house. The dds have an iPad, AppleTv blah blah and are very skilled on all of them. However, if they weren't interested I certainly wouldn't be forcing them. Forcing is the wrong word but YKWIM, it's late!

As for popular culture when they start school, they'll pick all that up fairly quickly. I wouldn't worry about that at all. DD1 (6) was the only girl in her class that hadn't seen Frozen at the cinema so for months it wasn't on her radar and she was eventually bought it for Easter. She survived not knowing who Elsa was. Different now....

I think there's a difference between banning it completely and just going along with a child who isn't very interested, you sound like you're doing the latter. Provided you limit excessive technology time, I think there's no harm in following their lead.

DS1 nearly failed his pre-school eye test as he couldn't identify a picture of Mickey Mouse from the far side of the room, it was entirely because he had no idea who Mickey was, not an eyesight failure! He was never that interested, so we very rarely had TV on and only ever cbeebies, no films. DS2 would have no difficulty identifying Mickey, Peppa or anyone else, as he has to be dragged away from any technology.

Our reception class certainly has screens, they do 'ICT' once a week in the computing suite. Some CBeebies programmes are very educational, my ds loved alphablocks from age 2, and the CBeebies app is very good too. Definitely helped him to learn to read, started reading books age 3.6.

Technology and popular culture will take no time at all to pick up as and when she needs it - tablet computers etc. are designed to be intuitive, so it's not like they need much experience to use. Popular culture too! And it really also depends on where you live and you social circle, too - I happen to live in an odd bit of the country where lots of people don't let their DC watch TV (I have lots of friends who have prevented their DC under 3 from ever seeing TV or having screen time and think I'm enormously irresponsible for letting my toddler watch bits of CBeebies, so really it's all relative to who you know....)

Why not let her watch a bit of some of the best CBeebies stuff like Sarah & Duck, Katie Morag and so on, and add in the odd "old Disney" film? Yes the sentiments can sometimes be a bit but many of the older films are classics. (And I say that as someone who is definitely not a Disney fan!)

I have decided not to worry about it.

We have laptop, TV, DVDs, tablet.

DC show very little interest. I ask them if they want to watch TV or do something on the computer, I usually get "no thanks".

DD happily plays games with her friends involving characters she has never seen or heard of, it doesn't seem to hold her back.

I'm not going to stand over them and make them do something they aren't interested in. If the interest comes from them, I will go with it at that point.

Ooh gosh, I stand corrected! I just hadn't noticed any screens in her Reception classroom - maybe they are in another room? must try to take more of an interest in early years curriculum When I went to her first Parent's Evening a few weeks ago the main focus seemed to be number work/number play and reading and writing. No mention of learning to use a mouse or anything (surely this would take an average 4 year old about 5 minutes anyway??)

Yep, our reception class uses the interactive whiteboard too. They also have computer programming lessons, bonkers as that sounds.

My seven year old was also told in class that she needs regular (supervised) access to the internet for homework. In my day it was the Britainnica encyclopaedias! Technology is pretty commonplace nowadays, and is only going to become more so, so it's probably best to accept it.

I've got nothing at all against it by the way!