Feel guilty I dont co sleep, baby wear etc

[animalsunited]

A bit silly I know but dc3 is six months now and definitely my last baby. Like my older two I had to co sleep and carry her in a sling constantly as a new born. Like my others, she would not be put down and needed the contact.

Now she's grown out of that. She will happily sit in a pram and settle in her cot, albeit with a dummy/breastfeed or cuddle. I hardly ever co sleep or carry her in a sling now. I do cuddle her lots though.

I feel a bit sad. Although I was exhausted when she was new born and wanted a break, now I realise that phase has passed forever. I have a friend still co sleeping and wearing her older baby and I feel guilty.

I was just so desperate to be able to put them down, I wonder if I've rushed them into independence.

The older two are school aged now, sleep great, very secure. So much so they skip into school without a look back. Yet they were all Velcro newborns!

I have no real advice, but as someone with a Velcro newborn I wanted to say thank you for reminding me I might miss it when it's gone. I will try to stop envying other mums with babies sleeping in prams and appreciate the snuggly baby tied to my chest!

All I can say is - how lovely it is that your DC are so secure in your love that they can be independent. Remember that. All of that skipping off to school and settling alone in the cot is because they felt so secure in your love when they needed you.

But if your baby no longer needs to sleep next to you for comfort or want to be carried then surely it's because she is quite content.

I don't think that encouraging independence is a bad thing. It's good that your dcs all feel happy while they are away from you, because they have to be at certain times. But just think about how desperately they still need and want you really, they aren't exactly ready to move out yet!! my 1yo has never been a velcro baby and loves to play with whoever or on his own. but we still have an incredible bond and I know I'm his favourite person especially if he needs anything or just wants cuddling. I think you are probably feeling sad that your last baby is growing up and you won't have that newborn closeness again. I'm sure that's very normal. I often have a tinge of sadness that my ds is growing up, and it does make it a little better hoping that we will have another one. but it sounds like you're doing a great job and raising very happy children!!

You are right. And I'm glad I gave them what they needed as newborns.

I guess I'm just having a wobble as this is my last baby! She's only six months but not new anymore.

I'm sure you haven't rushed them, they do it when they're ready! You can still be close to them in lots of ways. And there's nothing wrong with a cuddle in bed or a carry as well as using the pram etc. DS was happy in both but I still used to carry him, he doesn't expect it now he's older

I get it. Also DC3 here and he's 7 months. I haven't pushed for him to sleep in his cot because he's the last so I know where you are coming from. Pinning my 10 year old down for a cuddle is a bit of an effort and usually only happens when he's sick these days.

I do love it when they still hold my hand when we are crossing the road too. I'm sure they are oblivious but every time I think 'i am going to miss this'.

DS1 is 10 weeks and since 6 weeks has been happier sitting in his bouncer than on me! He self settles at night and goes down in his pram quite happily too. I'm happy that I don't have a baby stuck to me 24/7 but it makes me sad that I don't have as many cuddles these days. I'm guessing he's going to be a very independent little man!