Should my kids dad provide wen they are with him?

[Mummylala123]

Hi guys need some advice, my children stay with their dad 2 days per wk. I work, he claims benefits whilst also working cash in hand. As he receives benefits I recieve no csa (I cancelled the £5 per wk entitlement it helped in no way bring our kids up) i ask him for nothing as i don't need it. I do ok on my own. The problem is he is not asking that i provide all clothing whilst my kids are with him as he says i recieve all the benefits ie tax credits and child benefits. He is due to have the kids at halloween but says he will only provide a costume for 1 child and I should for the other! I am discusted at the suggestion of this! I spent over £1000 on my daughters communion and didn't ask him for help as I don't need it! When with me it is my responsibility, when with him it is his. Wen they go for the wkend I send 2 outfits so all he really needs to do is provide 2 outfits for the days he gets them from school. I know I'm a good mum and work hard to give my kids all they need whilst in my care. I'm just wondering has anyone else been in this situation or have advice. I am now being told he is taking the matter bk to court (which of course he doesn't pay for) i find this all very childish but there is no reasoning with him. He's right, im wrong (apparently)

My Dh has 5 DC. 3 are my DSC who live with their mum/uni halls and the other 2 are ours. DH treats all 5 the same, unless one or other needs extra stuff in a 'student crisis' lol. I spend the same budget on all 5 for Santa presents. DH would never consider buying a dress up for one, purposely leaving another without :( he provides as they are all his children and he treats them equally. He does not play games to make EXW life difficult.

He is a mean bastard. Tell him to buy both costumes or you will shop him for working whilst on benefits.

Thanks for ur replys. He is mean and childish. I have reported him in the past but got nowhere or gained nothing from it only sleepless nights and stress on my part. The last thing I need is to go to court especially since we just got out of court in Aug and im still paying it off! I have decided to keep the kids with me this wk and buy them both a costume. Breaking the court order I know but to save one of my kids feeling inferior to the other :(

If he won't budge perhaps you better just pay for one costume and let him pay for the other. If you break the court order it might be more hassle than it is worth and the kids might be looking forward to seeing their dad. I know the feeling though

dont break the court order
he is a dick
make sure it is clear he is the dick, not you! if you break a court order you play right into his hands

Thanks guys, I suppose your right about breaking the court order but I'm so frustrated about the fact that he thinks it's ok to make a difference in our 2 children. Does anyone know, can he just take me back to court if there is no 'reason' as such. I really can't afford a solicitor and surely a judge would find this a petty matter that he wants this to return to court over money when he doesn't provide at all. Thank you :)

I would just save myself the hassle and buy both of theirs. (If I was in the position to) I'd rather just not let him make the children feel different to each other. And that way he can't say you ever said that you wouldn't pay for one.
What a bastard.
Hope they have a fun Halloween :)

Thank you very much, well I think I will bring the kids over as per court order each with a costume. I'm not too concerned about breaking the court order but it's the fact of returning to court for never ending pointless debates that I can't afford. Think I'll just have to try doing it alone!

It's hard when they're like that. IIm having to send dd with a few lots of clothes to keep at her dads so that she can come home in different clothes than she went in. It's just ridiculous. But just easier to avoid the unnecessary arguments.

The costumes will be a lot cheaper than court so you are right to just swallow it. The father of my kids pretty useless but what can I do? Jack shit. I just have to get on with it. I can never come to terms with it though!