HELP new mum scared and upset

[Mumtobenovember]

Hi everyone

I have a 8 weeks prem baby who has just come home from NICU I have just realised I have not been sterilising her bottles properly- I was so tired I was forgetting to put water in the bottom I only realised my error when the steriliser smelt burned so I figure she's had unsterile bottles for about 4 days she hasn't pood since last and has been really grizzly all day. I feel terrible like a failure and like I've hurt my vulnerable little baby :( advice?

I'm sure she's fine. Put water in every time from now on. Don't beat yourself up.

I washed them in hot water first- she seems in pain poor thing :( like she's constipated

I'd maybe call out of hours re the pooing. I'd not stress too much about the bottles.

I have doctor friends who have never sterilised bottles and kids all fine. Not saying I condone that but just that baby will be fine.

She may well be constipated but it doesn't mean you've caused it. Please don't beat yourself up, everything seems much worse in the early days when you're tired and overwhelmed. It gets easier, I promise.

If she hasn't pooed it sounds more like constipation which I believe can happen with preemies sometimes. Do you think that could be a problem? It would not be caused by the bottles not being sterilised properly, but could be the formula she is on does not agree with her if you are using formula.

I think there's a thread on mumsnet somewhere with a title about a consultant from SCBU saying you don't need to sterilise bottles. Might be worth searching for to put your mind at rest.

Do call out of hours if worried about the lack of poo.

I doubt that the constipation has anything to do with the bottles not being sterilized.

When did she last poo?

Don't punish yourself.

Ahhh congratulations on your baby coming home, forget about the bottles!

You are not a terrible mother, you are v tired and I would think very stressed if you've only just come home from NCU. Have a remember the water from now on and chalk it up to experience.

Lack of poo could simply be a matter of everything settling down now you are home and the environment has changed slightly. If you are concerned call the doctor.

Well she may be constipated but it's just as likely to be unrelated. I think if the bottles had given her a bug diarrhea would be more likely.
If she is not vomiting and feeding and sleeping as normal then I think there are no problem effects.
Just keep doing it properly from now on.
Some babies can go days without pooing but if you're worried contact your health visitor or doctor.

Congrats on the birth of your baby!

Stop beating yourself over the bottles. Seriously stop.

Now constipation. Do get the baby checked over properly. Don't wish to frighten but hernias are common in prem babies and can cause constipation. It did with my ds1. Very simple for doctor to check and fix if need be.

Big hug from me. I have been twice in your position - one 10 weeks early and the other 9 - new motherhood is scary enough without neo natal. Btw my two are 5 and 2 - on tues! - and very healthy / ds2 is even chunky!

She has been home 6 days now- she wont sleep at night at all but sleeps all day as soon as it's quiet with no tv or lights on she is unsettled not crying just winging and wriggling around.. She won't take her bottles as often as she did in hospital either it's all just making me panic. She pood yesterday afternoon and she has hardly been once a day since coming home.. I've given her some cooled boiled water and tried massage she's very upset :(

Thanks for the reassurance guys

Hello, my. Daughter was a 32 weeker and while I was expressing in SCBU all of the breast pump equipment was washed in hot water but not sterilised so I'm sure it will e find. As others have said, just do it properly from now on.

Just read your last post, try not to worry, those first few days at home are difficult because it's really stressful when you come from a very rigid and prescriptive routine, but it will all work itself out. Have a chat to your health visitor if you're worried, or ring SCBU for some reassurance. You just need to get to know your little one in your own environment. Good luck with everything

DS was in ICU for a week, he wasn't premature but had pneumonia so was treated on that ward. He was so used to light and noise that it took him a while to adjust to quiet and dark at home. I used a white noise machine and had him in a bedside cot next to me at night which really helped.

You're doing a great job and it does get easier, I promise.

Same here, my LO couldn't deal with the dark. Ewan the Dream Sheep might be worth a try, he really helped for us

Honestly forget about the bottles. Unsterilised bottles would be more likely to cause loose BMs than constipation. Are you BF or FF. I FF and found that my DD would have far firmer stools than babies that were BF. She had BMs more infrequently too. See how tomorrow goes and give your HV a ring then if you're still concerned.

You're not a bad mum you're just tired and doing something new for the first time. As everyone else has said, stop beating yourself up - you're doing fine. I doubt the constipation is due to the bottles. If you're worried give the ward a buzz someone there should be able to give you practical advice/a sanity check on whether it's within the bounds of "normal".

Sorry she's still in the nocturnal phase, she'll get there eventually.

Good luck!

Some people sterilise nothing

Oh please don't stress about the bottles. Of you're worried about the poo can you call SCBU? We called them about a similar issue with poo after we came home. It was all fine and just tummy "settling" down. Congratulations.

Don't worry too much. She will be fine, I am sure. You are on a huge learning curve, and are also sleep deprived.

I'm not denying that it is important to sterilise bottles and other things, but I am sure many of us know of children who come from unclean homes but seem to thrive. I have come across a few whose parents probably wouldn't have known what a steriliser was, never mind used one (think thick dirt on window sills and walls, grimy smelly carpet, greasy and mucky kitchen etc.).

You washed the bottles in hot, soapy water. That is also pretty good, so problems are hopefully unlikely. You have given yourself a bit of a scare (we've all done something like it), so you won't make that mistake again.

As others have said, constipation is not uncommon in bottle-fed babies. I bottle-fed all of my three. Occasionally they could seem constipated.

Ensure you are measuring out the powder accurately (I am sure you are), as a feed that is too strong can cause problems sometimes.

If you are still worried tomorrow then go to your GP. They will have heard it all before and most are very sympathetic. They should check your baby over and hopefully be able to reassure you that all is well.

I know how vulnerable you feel. I too had a pre-term baby. Not quite so pre-term as yours, as I had a 35 weeker. It was my third baby, so I wasn't a novice mum, but it did make me feel that she and I were more vulnerable at that point. She was soon thriving though.

Aw, don't beat yourself up. Easily done, and just think - back in the day, no one sterilised stuff. Babies were fine

Constipation is horrid, poor little things. If you are sure it's a problem - poo is hard and pellet-like, or there are five-seven days between them, a Vaselined cotton bud stuck very very gently just inside the bumhole works terrifyingly well. Just have wipes and a nappy handy, eh?

Babies have to learn to poo, like everything else, it's a muscle they have to figure out how to use. Soon you'll have more poo than you know what to do with! up the back into the hair in the armpits down the legs

Chin up.

congratulations on your baby .

don't worry about the bottles, DS is 10 weeks and when he was 3 weeks old and laying on the floor the dog was laying close by and he sucked the dogs tail . I'm sure hour washed bottles were cleaner than my dogs tail