Too scared to poo

[alp]

My 3 yr old DD has got herself in such a state that going for a poo terrifies her. Abuot 8 weeks ago she had a rash on her bottom which I thought nothing of, whacked on the sudocrem and wihtin a few days it had gone. However as it was quiet sore it caused her some discomfort which has now escaleted and she is putting off going for a poo at all. I have been given some Latulose from the Drs and this is supposed to soften the poo so it isn't hard etc. She eats a good diet anyway so it isn;t that she doesn't go. It is that she is putting it off which means she then she has accidents in her pants - or she does a little bit, then stops and won;t do anymore. Each time she gets the urge she cries, gets upset , holds her bottom and won't go on the loo. If i do manage to keep her there to do a poo she is vrtually screaming the house down.

Sorry it is so long..........anyone with any tips?!

I think there is a fisure (sp) and that could be causing the initial pain but now it is psycological. Would she go in a nappy? I know that may seem like a step back but you need to find a way to get her comfortable to go again and then move on to using th potty/loo again. I also wouldn't force her to stay on the loo. It is causing her distress and also givs her something to control you with. HTH and hope you get it solved v soon.

Thanks NAB3 - I was beginning to think of the nappies too. This afternoon I tried the chocolate bribery which stopped her crying as soon as the word 'chocolate' was mentioned but then quickly forgotten about. She did eventually after about an hour of on and off the toilet go properly but she was clinging to me like a limpet. We haven;t had any dirty pants today which is good news but I know it isn't progress as yesterday there were 5, the day before 2 .......it is just hard work as it is so difficult to listen to the screaming and then cleaning up after her when she won't go to the toilet.

Oh alp, I really do feel for you and DD.

I think if she is really so upset the nappies might be a good idea. Having said that, there was a boy at DS school who still had to poo in one, so perhaps just try for a bit longer first. My DD wouldn't go for a poo when she first potty trained last month, and I felt so horrid, hearing her cry She used to wait until her nappy was put on for bed, but after a while, it all settled down. Just don't make a big thing of it. How long has it being going on?

she has been scared/crying for the past 4 weeks or so but has been potty trained for a year so it isn't that she can't/won't poo in the toilet( that was last years battle!) - just that it has got such a big issue in her head that she can't 'let go' so to speak

I'm having similar probs with my 3yr old, but more long standing. He has never done a poo in the toilet, and can 'save' it for days until I relent and put a nappy on him. He has had constipation from about 12mths which has caused the problem but this is now controlled with lactulose and senna. I keep swinging unhelpfully between leaving the issue and letting him use nappies until he chooses the toilet and then throwing all nappies away until he _has to use the toilet. Unfortunatley his control of his spinchter seems to be stronger than my willpower.
What to do...?

alp. how is your DD today?? Is she the same on a potty too? I hope it all works out, all I can do is send you both a big hug.
Tinkerboo, the little boy in Ds's class was like that, but did resolve itself when he was four. Its so difficult isn't it?