Feeding to sleep - is it really a problem?

[mustardtomango]

Just that really... Ds is one, it works, and I don't think it's going to go on forever. Hv says we should stop. Should we?

It just stopped working one day for DD, I wish it hadn't. She was younger though, and I think the dummy broke the feeding to sleep.

Honestly, if there is a way for them to get to sleep calmly, I can't see how that is worse than the screaming tantrums we are having atm.

Are you bf? If you moved to a bottle, then progressively watered down the milk it would probably wean him off feeding to sleep. Only if you want to though!

If you're happy and if baby is happy then keep doing it. Ignore the HV, as she's likely just taking her cues from what a textbook says.

I breastfed both my DC to a year, and fed them to sleep until one night it just stopped being magic settling juice that it'd once been.

My advice is to have some other tricks and methods to settle your baby sometimes so that it isn't a shock to either of you once the milk is no longer there/stops making them sleepy.

If you are both happy with the arrangement, keep doing it! I was sad when it no longer worked and came to an end. Enjoy it while it lasts. Ignore the HV.

We fed to sleep for a year, and when I stopped she still went to sleep at bed time without any fuss. I'm sure it causes problems for some, but it was working so we just went with it...

I did it with ds for 2 years until I stopped bf, it's a lovely lazy reliable way of getting them to sleep. If it works for you do it!

My DD changed one night from bf to stroking my stomach and that was it. Also managed the odd night I was not there at 13mo when I had to work with just daddy instead.

Breastfeeding is supposed to make babies sleepy. It's a super tool to have why on earth shouldn't you use it?! HVs know nothing!

I did it for 2 years and have no regrets. I was scared that i wouldn't be able to wean him off feeding to sleep but over a month, I gradually and gently talked him out of it. No regrets.

I feed to sleep for about 8 mths and then gradually started putting him down awake after a feed (with his dummy) and he just got the hang of it eventually. He's a bit wedded to the dummy for falling asleep at nighttime but you've got to pick your battles :)

I agree it's an absolutely invaluable tool to have when nothing else works though!

If the arrangement works for your family then that is all that matters

Thanks ladies... Stroking your tummy, that's just lovely

I do bf, and dh already has a few tricks to help ds sleep (which I am rubbish at), so we do know it's possible, am just reticent to pick up a new strategy without really being 100% behind it.

It's so lovely to see how happy it makes him, and how much it soothes him, so think I'll just take my cues from him

Fine, they grow out of it. I used to feed DS at bedtime until he was about 4. Not every night, and not all the way to sleep at that point - he stopped being dependent on it long before then, and obviously there's no requirement to keep going until any age but I just never felt a need to particularly put effort into stopping.

It's not problem until it's a problem for YOU! After all, 9 times out of 10 its you or your partner getting them to sleep! So just do whatever works until it doesn't work for you any more, then try something else at that point. Mine is nearly 3 and I still feed him to sleep for the afternoon nap as I like a cuddle with him (and a sneaky nap!), but at bed time I got sick of lying there with him so now he goes on his own with a kiss and a night night. There was obviously a transition in that time, actually several e.g. At childminders he had to get used to napping in his pram. All parents have to adapt the techniques with sleep as their child grows. If what you are doing is working for your family, please don't let the HV, family or anyone else than you put you off doing that.

My experience is that if you are aware that it is a potential problem and not something you want to carry on indefinitely then as they get older, you can gradually work on it. At that age, I still rocked my son to sleep but knew it was something I would keep up indefinitely and was a bit worried - again partly from what the health visitor said. In reality, it just stopped working and we gradually went from stroking his back in his cot, to standing by his cot without contact till he was asleep etc until now we just put him in his bed, kiss him and walk out. Bed time routines change and evolve and sometimes health visitors do get a bit carried away with the right way to do things. If it suits you now, stick with it. If further down the line it doesn't, gradually change it then.

That makes sense, I think most of the changes we've made so far have been when we've had enough or couldn't maintain the current system - hesitate to call them 'end of tether' decisions but they probably have been. Ds is pfb and he's been our priority and we've enjoyed it, so taking back anything for ourselves has been a slow burn. I guess the two are a bit linked.

I did it for over a year, it stopped when I stopped BFing with no issues and now we sit in the same chair with the night light on, have a cuddle, and she then goes into her cot and goes to sleep. I used to worry that feeding to sleep was a bad thing but it really isn't so just enjoy it while it lasts

Depends if they sleep through I guess- but it's a v easy way to get them to sleep

I didn't to begin with, thought it was a bad idea. But from 6 to 12 months I did, and then I stopped bfing and we started a cup of milk and stories at bedtime and that was fine too. Well, it was a while back, but I don't remember it being a disaster.

Things change all the time, if it works for now then stick with it.

I did - and slowly over time started to put DD down to sleep drowsy but awake. Now, (she's 16 months) provided she's tired, i can put her down and she just drops off... it does get easier

ps; i think hvs tend to be a bit text book - and in my experience, don't always give the best advice on a one-to-one basis.