My 4 year old is clever and funny, but also extremely single minded, stubborn and has now started crying when she wants everything which is making our lives he'll. she is the middle child and this crying is getting out of hand. It always seems to happen when we need to go somewhere eg taking her and son to school and preschool respectively. My ds had to,wait at school office one evening cos I was dealing with a tantrum in the street. I was about 30 mins late as it takes her ages to come down. I am trying to teach her she doesn't get what she wants by crying or that she can't have what other people are playing with just because its been brought to her attention. We've tried reward charts, taking stuff away from her but she screams and cries like we've poked her eye out! I'm wondering if she has psychological problems as she is quite controlling (a family trait which my grandfather and mum both seem to have), she ignores everything that we say even in plain conversation, she only eats certain things as if she is scared of trying anything new food wise. She is popular as she is friendly with other children and sociableetc, but she is making our lives really stressful and sometimes I'm starting to feel nervous at having to deal with her. Anyone else experienced this? Is it just her age? My son did not go through such extremes of tantrums and had moreorless grown out of them at 3. She is nearly 5 (in may). Her little sister is 2.