What were the reactions of other students and lecturers when you started showing?

[DonnaLlyn]

I am a full time student at a posh university, and I'm due to give birth after graduation so my pregnancy won't really affect my studies hopefully.

I'm 23, a lot of the students on my course are a couple of years younger, but they all seem to have one thing in common - priviledged back grounds. I don't even know how I got into this university, to be honest! In my years here, I have made no friends as everyone seems so sheltered, idealistic and rich. Everyone's mommy and daddy pay for the best private flats and fancy cars for them...sigh.

I live in my own house with my partner and work part time as well as study. I feel absolutely nothing in common with my classmates, and I dread the reaction to my bump, as I already feel out of place and inadequate. I'm from a pretty common part of town and no one there will blink at my bump - hell half the sixteen year olds seem to have popped out at least one kid already there!

Is anyone in a similar situation? How did people react? I think that other students will be shocked that I would get pregnant, and pity me because they think I am ruining my career. I don't even want to think about the lecturers...

it's bad enough that I always feel out of my depth academically without dealing with people tutting and shaking their heads in dissappointment at me, I'm really nervous about this.

I'm a little older than you and a PhD student, and my university isn't particularly posh, but I had some similar worries, particularly about the potentially ruined career! I though my supervisors would be concerned since I am a funded student and it would look bad for them if I didn't complete. I have every intention of finishing, but I worried they might think I'd not come back after my maternity leave. As it happened, the whole department and my supervisor in particular have been really supportive. Even a few who I suspect secretly think I'm making a mistake career wise haven't said anything. My daughter is nearly 3 months old now and I took her to an evening lecture the other day - nobody batted an eyelid! As for showing, I saw a student who I taught in the spring term the other day, she was very surprised to see I had a baby with me, and I'd thought I had definitely been showing by the end of term. So if your fellow students are anything like the ones at my uni they may not even notice!

This is your issue OP. you sound like you have a chip on your shoulder and are expecting issues that wont even arise. Most likely no-one will care. Yes it's a big thing in your life but to your classmates and lecturers it really wont be on their radar. Especially if, as you say, you arent close to any of them.

Relax, lose the inferiority complex and measure where you are in life against where you want to be and not against where others are. It wont make you happy to always compare yourself and resent others.

My uni isn't particularly 'posh' but, like most unis, has a high quota of middle class students. I got pregnant at the start of my second year, 19 years old, and when I started showing, my coursemates were thrilled and loved trying to feel the baby kick lecturers were similarly lovely; but I'm on a course where we're more like a family than friends, and the lecturers are amazing.

I agree with Dia, stop anticipating their response and just go with it.

A lot of people didn't expect me to go back. DD is now six months old (she was born in April; I got a high 2:1 for my 2nd year) and I've gone straight into my third year. Don't assume people will think you're ruining your career!

I think you are over thinking this too. Congratulations on your new baby on the way :) It's lovely that there have been some positive posts from other uni mums and I'm sure there will more. Does it really matter what anyone else thinks? Relax, enjoy your pregnancy and good luck with your degree course.