How much does it actually really cost to have a baby?

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When ever I talk to people about it I just get answers like 'no one can ever afford children' and stuff like that.

We are having our third and final ivf at the moment. If it works then I have no idea how I'm going to afford it all.

How much does childcare cost? How much would we get in any benefits? What are the 'running costs' of a baby?
How the hell does anyone afford all this?
I think my problem is that we have had so long to think about it that it's all become rather scary.
We both have reasonable jobs, I'm on £36k and DH is on £20k.

I don't think you'll get any tax credits based on those salaries but you will get child benefit which is £81 every 4 weeks.

Dependent on where you live child care costs will vary widely. Where I am it's about £40 a day for a nursery so it'll depend on how many days you'll work.

As for the cost of the baby, we'll the initial outlay for us was a couple of grand for cots, prams etc. DS is 13 weeks now and I find myself buying far too may clothes and toy for him and I'm sure it'll get worse as he gets older!

Other ongoing costs, if you breast feed exclusively then it's free for the first 6 months!
And I buy aldi nappies which are cheap but just as good as more expensive brands.

As I say, DS is only 13 weeks so I have limited experience and to be honest I'm still not convinced if we'll be able to afford things when my maternity pay ends, or on what hours I'll go back to work.

Good luck with ivf
Main 'cost' will be lack if income and then childcare fees
Actual baby costs are nappies Anda few clothes
If you ff it's c.£10 tub and 1-2 tubs a week which is another reason fb is worth a go!

How long is a piece of string?
Babies and children can cost as little or as much as you can afford or want to spend.
If people waited until they could afford all the paraphernalia and several years of childcare, there would be far fewer.
It depends on your lifestyle as well, for us we equated a sahp to a salary, which would have been the cost of childcare.

When people post scary figures, it is usually for full time childcare in central London (which admittedly might be you, OP). Babies don't have to cost much in the first year. It's nappies and formula - if you don't breastfeed. Your friends and family will most likely want buy you things and you can buy baby clothes second hand (and barely used) by the bagful off eBay. Ditto toys; the plastic ones down with vinegar and leave to dry. Soft toys can be washed and chucked in the freezer to kill off bugs. You will get childcare vouchers if your employers are part of the scheme and child benefit.

Your biggest expense will be your decision about work. If you are have the whole year of maternity leave off, the first six weeks are on 90 % pay, then it's basic maternity allowance for the next 7.5 months. The last three months are unfunded. If you or your partner decide to stay at home permanently, them your income levels change and you may be eligible for tax credits and other help.

Childcare is our main cost, and that year (or two) that you need/should/ideally take off work at the start.
Childcare - I approached the nearest few daycare places as soon as I was pregnant - you can find out the costs. Make a budget, get the costs down for real now. They are expensive but clearly if you are doing IVF, something that you are wiling to make sacrifices for. Babies themselves are not that dear, but children and teenagers are!

There are too many variables to be able to give a definitive answer.

Childcare - depends on how many days, what type, where you live, what help you can get, whether you use childcare vouchers. I don't know about benefits for childcare. Near us a FT nursery place is about £10k per year.

Running costs of a baby - food is anywhere from free (BF) to formula (perhaps a tin a week at £12, though I might be out of touch) to readymade formula at about £35 a week. Obviously they eventually eat food which costs something. Nappies - perhaps £10 a week for pampers, less for own brand, washing and drying costs plus initial outlay for cloth.

Clothes - anywhere from virtually nothing if you know someone with a child who wants to get rid of them, through to stupidly expensive.

Toys & books - use a library and what you are given or spend loads.

Furniture - buy it new and premium brands could cost lots. Otherwise get second hand or Ikea stuff for perhaps £200 or less. You do need a new cot mattress. Free cycle can be good for furniture.

Travel stuff - new car seat £100. Potentially need a base too. Travel system - new perhaps £400-600 with everything and new, much cheaper second hand.

Probably the most expensive time is maternity leave due to the loss of income (unless you have a great scheme at work.

I was always told by my mum that if you wait until you can really afford children, you'd never have them.

We're having DC2 and I have my fingers crossed that someone I know will be counting the pennies and want all of our baby stuff once we're done with it as it takes up loads of space.

Good luck with your IVF.

Welll....

The main cost is childcare. Childcare costs vary depending on what you choose (nursery/childminder/nanny) and depending on whether you need full time or part time care. Do you both work full time, same hours? Could you change your hours so as to need less childcare (eg compress your hours into a 4 day week so you get paid the same but only need 4 days childcare, or 3 days if you can both do it). Any help available from grandparents?

Some people find that their childcare costs outweigh one parent's salary after tax, so it would seem to make sense for that parent to give up work and look after the children instead. That might be the case for your DH - would he be a SAHD? Bear in mind however that in the long term, childcare costs generally go down (as your child goes to school and only needs after school and holiday care) and so it may make sense to work "at a loss" for a few years if you can afford to do that. Especially if there are promotion prospects.

What is your maternity pay like? After childcare, the other big cost is lost pay through being on maternity leave. Of course you don't have to take a long maternity leave but most people want at least 5 months and if you're only on statutory mat pay then most of that would only be at 138/week. Leave is shareable now, so since your DH is paid less, and if you don't have great mat pay rights, then you might choose to go back after 3/4 months and have him do a couple of months at home after that. Not really compatible with breastfeeding though (see running costs).

Running costs don't need to be huge. There are loads of other threads on what kit you need (and don't need) but if you breastfeed and are happy with second hand/borrowed clothes and kit (helps if you know people with slightly older children) then the running costs don't need to be a huge amount. Nappies are expensive, formula is expensive. Of course it's possible to spend loads on baby kit but you don't need to if you are savvy and get stuff second hand/think twice before panic buying the latest must have item. You may find your bills go up during mat leave as you are at home a lot.

Bear in mind some things you might currently spend money on may reduce or disappear eg hobbies, meals out, drinking, holidays (I know, I'm really selling this baby thing )

Benefits - check out entitled to. Child benefit, not sure about tax credits.

Very best of luck with your IVF, fingers tightly crossed for you.

I would say that if you added it all up, you will probably think you can't afford it. But you do make it work - you cut down on things no longer important or possible (no more after work drinks for me!) and things just somehow, on the whole, work out.

My advice is you don't need everything new. Work out what's important and borrow/2nd hand the rest.

Thank you ladies.
I am in the very lucky position of having NHS funded ivf and as this has all taken so long I've been able to save up to fund life if it works, (if it fails then it's all going on a brilliant holiday). We both work in education and therefore get ok maternity leave and school holidays wouldn't be a problem.
The cost of child care seems just huge though. I know work does child care vouchers. How do they work?

Childcare vouchers are taken off your gross pay, so you don't pay tax/NI on that bit of your salary, I think the maximum is £243 a month for a standard rate tax payer. I think they are being replaced with a different scheme, which could be better or worse depending on your situation.

like said upthread I don't think you will get any tax credits working or child and you may find that with a combined income of 56k you might not get child benefit, or rather you will but you will possibly get taxed on it. go on the hmrc website and look at their calculator as it will give you a better idea.

as for childcare costs look on childcare.Co.UK as that details a lot of childminders and their fees which are a damn site cheaper than nurseries!

as for the "set-up" costs, use ebay and facebook selling sites to try and get second hand bits, I got a mamas and papas cot in immaculate condition for £25 and a mamas and papas wardrobe and chest of drawers that are virtually brand new for £20 - but buy a brand new mattress!! prams don't hold their money at all so shop around places like John Lewis and Mothercare for ones you like and then try for second hand ones.

like weddings babies can cost a small fortune but they don't have to. I think we set up the nursery, pram, carseat and clothes for around £200

As others have said, the main cost is childcare.

We paid £1,000 a month for full time nursery. DS had started school by the time DD came along, so never had two lots of fees. No idea how we would have managed it. I would probably have had to give up work, as DH is the main breadwinner.

Other than that, babies arent expensive. You can get cots, buggies etc cheaply, as I learned with my second baby (was stung royally with DC1, and totally bought into the 'must have a complete nursery furniture set from John Lewis and a huge, eye wateringly expensive buggy...absolute nonsense in retrospect).

Children are expensive, though. After school clubs, uniforms, the never ending buying of shoes. Its like anything else, though. You just have t be creative and stick to your budget.

Huge luck for your IVF x

Wheresthelight - child benefit is calculated on each single income, so if neither parent earns over £50k they will receive the full £80odd/ month

I am a huge panicker about money and our income is almost identical to yours. I went back to work 4 days per week after 6 months as this worked out best all round financially and career wise. But I've been surprised by how affordable the baby has been. .. just don't give in to peer pressure. .. babies don't need jumperoos! And take as long as you can off. They're tiny for so long, maternity leave is wonderful, and working on no sleep is tough!

Where do you live?

We are in greater London and childcare is our main cost. Nurseries and childminders here charge about the same, which is around £65 per day. If you use a nursery they don't all offer term-time contracts - most around us require payment 50 weeks of the year. Childminders you might find a more flexible one with whom you can co-ordinate your holidays and therefore reduce the amount of 'dead' money you pay, but (unfortunately) here it is normal to pay full rate when you take a holiday as the CM's service is still 'open'.

Babies cost next-to-nothing: we have found the pre-school and school days to be more expensive TBH.

Other costs you currently have now, though, may well go down. This is part of the equation that people usually miss. Less going out, (possibly) fewer holidays, etc.

Best of luck with the IVF. I hope it works for you.

"Children are born with a loaf of bread under their arm" was something my granny used to say. She had 5 on a tiny income.

Round our way the cost of 'stuff' is really minimal. People just turn up at toddler groups and pass a bag of stuff on to whoever has a kid that fits them. Or you can go to a second hand clothes sale and actually choose stuff you like for pennies. If you are lucky enough to have families that will buy a couple of outfits for best, that's that sorted. We pay 1.50 per family for the non council ran toddler group, and you get tea and toast. Bed / cot, chest of drawers and nappies are main expenses. And car seat, they need one at birth then replacing around 16 mths I think (done by weight not age, but its the one bit of kit you need to pay the price on the tag for).
Its cutting working hours / childcare that's a killer. Some childminders / nurseries do term time only contracts tho.

Our main costs have been my lack of income while on maternity leave (I am main earner and spent all my savings funding it) and, now I'm back at work, £78 per day on childcare. Although we splashed out on a couple of bits early on, really most things you can get second hand or for a bargain and probably for a couple of hundred pounds you can get set up with everything you need. Like PP's, I'm also a sucker for cute baby clothes and I realised this week that DD (14 months) has around 25 dresses which currently fit her. Eek!

My biggest surprise cost: people say bf is free but I spent over £200 trying to find the right nursing bra (enormous boobs). That was by far my biggest expenditure though so far (dd 10 months) everything else (apart from car seat) second hand from eBay, local fb sites, freecycle, freegle, friends with older babies. Second hand baby clothes are often barely worn. Make use of the library and local toy library if you have one. There are tons of free or very cheap baby/toddler groups, there's no need to splash out £70 on Baby Sensory or the like. Shop around for childcare. I found that by using a cm near my school rather than my home we saved £20 per day! Lots of cms offer term time only or a half price retainer during holidays.

Hope everything goes well for you.