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Original poster

Naming ceremony ???

33 replies

Sweetpea86 · 13/10/2014 19:22

Hi just wondered if any body had a a naming ceremony basically a christing without religion. I'm catholic but my husband doesn't belive in religion.

After long hard thinking we have deiceded not bring him up catholic but to bring him up to respect every body's rights on religion ( you get the just)

So as well next April when my son is 1 were going to have naming ceremony. To celebrate his birthday as well as having guardians (god parents)

Has any body had one? I'm not really sure were to start.

OP posts:

NorahBone · 13/10/2014 20:42

Our local register office does them. Try looking on your local council website

ArabellaTarantella · 13/10/2014 22:21

My friend had one. It was really lovely, then an afternoon party afterwards.

jopickles · 14/10/2014 10:33

I had one for my daughter and it was lovely, I had all my friends and family there but it was just us, not something you can guareentee with a christining but we had a few readings done by friends and I picked guiding adults instead of godparents it was just a lovely occasion followed by a lovely party

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Lookslikeimstuckhere · 14/10/2014 10:47

Humanist ministers do them, lots of info on the humanist website. My sister had one for DN, was so lovely.

Hedgehogging · 14/10/2014 20:32

We're having one for my DD in January (she'll be 8 months). Humanist celebrant who will also be marrying DP and I as part of the same ceremony.

Definitely check out humanist website. I can PM you the layout of our naming ceremony to give you an idea if you're interested. Essentially it's us affirming our commitment to her as parents and then a little bit about her name and then she is officially welcomed to the world! Really lovely IMHO.

CatWithKittens · 15/10/2014 10:51

But a humanist ceremony, which would take as its starting point the humanist denial of the need for God might be going a bit far for the OP, who is Catholic - I assume Roman Catholic. This is always difficult where one parent has beliefs and the other does not though I would hope that bringing a child up as a Catholic, whether Roman or otherwise, would not these days mean teaching anything but respect for other people's rights in matters of religion, or anything else. Surely the two should not be incompatible now? The Inquisition was a long time ago!

Pootles2010 · 15/10/2014 10:59

Yes we had one for ds, it was great. Ours was in a registry office. Only thing to be aware of, is you mention you're Catholic OP - they're very, very strict on nothing religious in there at all. Fine with us, just be aware of it.

Lookslikeimstuckhere · 15/10/2014 13:14

True Cat it can be a bit like a religion, only without the God IYSWIM!

CatWithKittens · 15/10/2014 15:09

Yes - and, judging by one or two humanist events I've been to, sometimes, whether subtly or otherwise, actually anti-God as well.

worldgonecrazy · 15/10/2014 15:16

I'm a naming celebrant. Most people who use our services want something with spiritual/pagan overtones, but we are also very happy to do secular naming ceremonies too.

The first thing to do is set a date. Then think about what you want to happen, what you want to say, what you want your guests to take away from the event, then build it up from there. The naming ceremony fulfils a similar function to the christening ceremony, in that it is an opportunity for an official "welcome to the community/family" for a child, just without any promise to indoctrinate or force a child to choose a religious path until the child is old enough to make that choice.

Scattaboy · 16/10/2014 13:24

It would be lovely CatwithKittens if that were the case but unfortunately it is not. I am in a mixed Protestant/Catholic marriage and we raise our children as Christian but take them to both churches,we have recently had a mass where it was a visiting priest-quite high up so considered an honour- and his sermon in the mass was about how only Catholics will get to heaven as only Catholics take certain parts of the gospel seriously.It was so offensive to us and the opposite to what we teach our children that we left.I should point out that we expect them to respect and understand other religions as they get older as well,just in case it comes across that I was only outraged because one of us is Protestant,the thought that any denomination/religion still has the 'we're the only good ones' attitude is horrible but unfortunately pretty prevalent.

CatWithKittens · 16/10/2014 16:53

I agree Scattaboy, it is horrible and the cause of so many of the world's troubles. I do know what you mean; we have been to Roman Catholic Masses here and been denied Communion because we are Anglicans, although on holiday in France or other places in Europe we have no similar experience. Indeed DH once went to a Mass in Saint-Emilion where a Canon of Bristol Cathedral concelebrated with the local priest, which must be against the rules even in France, so there is both prejudice and rebellious ecumenism in our experience. However when I posted I was thinking that the major influence in OP's DS's life, at least in the early years, will be his parents who can obviously be trusted to teach respect for other people's views, even if neither some RC prelates nor some humanists are so sensible.

GingerDoodle · 16/10/2014 17:18

We had a church 'blessing' which we felt was right as we wanted her to have a connection to Christianity but not necessarily bought up in the faith as I'm Pagan and my husband Catholic. We now have a friend who is has trained as an independent celebrant - had he been one back then we may have considered that to celebrate her arrival!

Pico2 · 16/10/2014 20:20

"But a humanist ceremony, which would take as its starting point the humanist denial of the need for God might be going a bit far for the OP"

We went to one conducted by a humanist celebrant. There was no mention of God or denial of God. It was a non-religious baby naming ceremony with no mention of religion. I think that they were able to personalise it and it was about welcoming the baby into the family and friends. It was lovely.

CatWithKittens · 17/10/2014 12:13

Pico 2, you were obviously lucky. As I said I have been to several humanist ceremonies and on at least one occasion there was an overt statement that humans do not "benefit from a god".

On other occasions it has been more subtle but has always started from the Humanist Association point of view of belief, to quote their website, " that this life is the only life we have, that the universe is a natural phenomenon with no supernatural side ......"

People are free to accept that or not, of course, but the point I was trying to warn OP about is that to a devout Christian, of whatever denomination, humanism is a denial of both the Creator God and the sure and certain hope of eternal life which Christianity holds as central.

Pico2 · 17/10/2014 17:12

Cat - were any of those ceremonies a baby naming?

Sausagebean · 17/10/2014 18:31

Hi Sweetpea, we had a naming ceremony for dd last month, and it was lovely I probably would've chosen a christening had dh been up for that too, but like your dh he isn't religious so we opted for a humanist ceremony.
I found a lady on the internet and paid her to come and basically do a speech for us. I had a lot of input into what she said, and it worked really well.
The only thing I didn't like much was having to come up with an alternative name for dd's Godparents, but as I explained to them it was only for that day. I also removed anything to do with religion from the speech - we could in essence have asked anybody to read it out, but this lady was experienced and did a really lovely job
We also had a naming ceremony for ds (7), but didn't have a celebrant for that, and it was a bit of a wash-out. There was no focus as such, and the afternoon just meandered on. I wish that we had done the same thing for his really.
Have fun organising it won't you - it is an opportunity to celebrate your baby being with you, and is an incredibly special day

TheGirlAtTheRockShow · 17/10/2014 18:53

My friends had a naming day, but no celebrant. They did a speech and named "supporting adults" themselves.

CatWithKittens · 17/10/2014 22:41

Pico - no, they were weddings and funerals but the point about basic humanist beliefs and attitudes remains. They are totally inconsistent with OP's Christian beliefs.

hollie84 · 17/10/2014 22:45

We had a humanist ceremony for DS1. There was no mention of god or religion at all! Most of my relatives are catholics.

RufusTheReindeer · 17/10/2014 22:48

Do have had three namings

My very catholic mother was only at the first one but she loved it

The second one, for DD, had three fairy godmothers!! And the theme was sleeping beauty

You just need to make sure that it's personal to you

Pico2 · 17/10/2014 22:52

I don't think that a humanist naming ceremony (which is generally tailored to the wishes of the family anyway) would have anything in it to offend the religious.

Pico2 · 17/10/2014 22:57

Humanists generally don't believe that a baby can have made up its mind about religion (or lack of it). So unlike most religious baby naming ceremonies, there can't really be a bit about "welcoming a baby into humanism". Obviously that is different to weddings and funerals where the relevant adults can have decided to identify as humanists or have lived as humanists.

ubersquiz · 18/10/2014 09:14

Everyone is born an atheist until parental indoctrination.

My son will be informed about religion when he's old enough and he can make up his own mind from there. I'm not comfortable with brain washing.

ubersquiz · 18/10/2014 09:17

That's just my personal opinion of course before the fundamentalists wade in.

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