Drowning not waving

[Misty9]

Feel like I'm losing the plot and wondered if anyone has any advice/is feeling similarly. Ds is 3.1 and has been ill with a bad cough - and is a nightmare in terms of whining and having frustrated tantrums every 5 minutes. Dd is nearly 6 months and seems to have diarrhoea with 8-9 dirty nappies a day. She's also decided to shun cot sleeping, and I'm not a fan of co sleeping as it makes for a shite night for me. Not that I have a choice. And I've been ill with a two day migraine and now a horrible dry cough.

I have zero patience at the moment and just feel like I'm wading through treacle to get through the days...only to have crappy nights and do it all over again the next day! I've just (temporarily) won the battle to get dd down and know I should go to bed - but then I've had no me time and just wake up to it all again.

I do have moments where I'm enjoying the kids, but more often than not I'm tired and grumpy. Dh works from home and is fantastic with the childcare, but I'm the only one who can feed and settle dd still (though she is weaning like a champ) and find it exhausting and a bit claustrophobic sometimes. Ds goes to nursery 1.5 days a week and loves it. He won't get his free hours until January. Even when I do get the odd hour to myself if dd deigns to nap, it never feels enough and is usually filled with chores anyway. Am I just having a pity party and need to pull myself together?! I know others have it a lot harder... I don't know - writing that all down makes it sound a bit minor :(

I didn't want your post to go unanswered. I remember those days the shear bloody relentlessness of it.

I love my kids and they were pretty easy toddlers/babies, but those early years are just relentless, especially when they are still dependant on you for feeding.

You sound as if the last few days with them and you being ill is just the last straw. Honestly it will get better. They will get well again and as dd weans you will get more time.

Hang on in there.

Thank you. I've been feeling run down for a while and just knew I was going to come down with something. In my better moments i can remind myself it'll get different soon enough, but I worry about irreparably damaging my relationship with ds in the meantime by being short with him so much. And I really wanted to enjoy the baby stage this time. And I keep losing my temper :(

Relentless is definitely the right word for parenting!

Oh goodness, I found the first year incredibly hard (similar age gap) and my DS1 went to nursery 3 days a week. No real advice but I just spent a weekend alone with them (4 and 21 months) as DH working and it was ok! Hang in there, it gets better.

Can anyone take them for a few hours so you can get some rest? Even another mum friend if you have no relatives.

Oh and I completely lost it with DS1 on more than a few occasions. He seems to have forgotton. I do feel sad I didn't really enjoy the first year but I got there in the end.

Blimey I feel like this and I only have one DS (8 months). Over the last month he has had tonsillitis twice requiring antibiotics both times and now we have hit teething. He hasn't slept a full night in his cot for weeks, has lost weight and is generally miserable most of the day and night when he used to be a happy baby! Every day feels like the same struggle!

No advice but you are not alone!

Thanks. Nice to know I'm not alone. I'm going a bit mad today even though it's just the baby to look after; she's grumpy, won't be put down but won't nap easily. She's shouting at me while I type this... I'm getting so frustrated with her and had a good cry earlier :(

Sorry to hear you've had a tough day. Have you got any family nearby who could give you a break tomorrow? Or could you book an evening out for dinner or something with friends? I find when it all gets too much then just one evening away can give me a break and I feel much better afterwards. Maybe worth a try?

Tomorrow is a new day x