This morning my dd who is 2 and my ds who is 5 were in the bath together and started splashing a bit. Dh said they're going to start messing about and he went downstairs and left me to it. Sure enough a few minutes later my dd started splashing the water with her whole arms and top part of her body with huge amounts of water going out of the bath while the older one threw water up in the air from a little bucket thingy. Within a few seconds the floor was covered in water and water was running down the walls and I was drenched, I was literally skidding about. I was trying to grab dd to get her out but she just thrashed about in the water and I couldn't get hold of her. Finally I got her and lifted her out and because she was thrashing she hit my face which sent me over the edge. She started screaming that she wanted to go back in and wouldn't sit down to put the towel around her and I lost control of myself and shouted 'fucking shut up' to her. I feel so ashamed 
DH walked back in and asked what was going on and I said I had to get out of the situation because I felt like I wanted to smack her (never have and never would) and I went and cried in the bedroom. He finished them both off.
I just feel horrible. What sort of person says that to their baby! I am so upset. I am also cross with DH that he saw it coming and just walked away and he's always leaving me to sort things out. This morning it was my turn for a lie in having got up at 5am with dd all week and I couldn't sleep because he wasn't sorting out ds having a tantrum and just let it go on and on and I was getting more and more wound up listening to it and nothing getting sorted. After the bathroom scene he brought them both home from the supermarket and didn't do the weekly shop because dd had a tantrum and didn't want to get in the trolley, I mean seriously what?
Anyway, to all you mums who think you did badly today I am the worst and I just don't know how to go about coming back from it. I apologised to both kids after and again at bedtime.