I feel like the worst parent in the world

[Sleepymumma]

Ds is 3 years old. I am getting no enjoyment out of parenting at all. He refuses to entertain himself at all. All i hear all day is I want this I want that. I've tried and tried to teach him manners but he pays no attention. He does not sit still ever. He hits me and doesn't learn from any punishment. I cannot remember the last time he slept through the night. Oh works away a lot so I am dealing with this on my own 90% of the time. I am exhausted plus I have to work 3 days a week. We spend no time together as a family as oh works on weekends. I am either at work or looking after ds. I thought id feel differently when he got his funded childcare but if anything I wish he was in nursery longer. I have no idea how to keep entertaining a child with little or no attention span and who all he wants to do us break as many of his toys as possible. I count down till bedtime every single day. In short I'm pretty miserable

Hey, hope you're ok? If you're a bad parent, then I am too. I really don't like 3 year olds! Such hard work. I remember being at uni and everyone was missing their DC but I felt just like you - it was a break for me and I wished he was in nursery for longer.

They do grow out of it, and get better. I know that's not much to you now though! Toddler groups?

for you! I'm afraid this is being three. As they say on here...threenagers You are NOT the worst parent at all. It is sooooooo draining, especially when all the other 3 year olds seem so placid (think they do this to mess with your mind!) It does get better, I promise you.

Can you exhaust him by going on lots of walks/runs in the park? Get a membership to soft play (one where it's aimed more at toddlers and bigger kids rather than babies) - I did this with DD1 and it was a lifesaver. Allow lots of Cbeebies to give you a break. Stick him in the garden with a bucket and a spoon/magnifying glass.

I count down to bedtime EVERY day. That's normal Get yourself some treats in for when he's in bed. If it's easier to let him sleep in your bed, do it. DD1 had a phase of this and sleeps well on her on now. In short, take the easy way out whenever possible. This is a trying time and doing most of it by yourself must be incredibly draining.

Thanks for replying. I take him to toddler groups which he loves. I took him to the farm today with a friend and her kids. Her 3 year old was so well behaved, whereas mine was throwing tantrums all over, saying I want to do this I want that then getting stroppy when we didn't do what he wanted. It was embarrassing at times.
Since we got home he's had 2 toys taken off him for hitting me, been on the naughty step and pretty much made my life a living hell.

I must admit Jimmy I am so exhausted from dealing with his mood swings I don't have the energy for long walks etc. I am quite overweight which is something I need to fix. Whenever I take him to the park we get half way there and he starts saying he's too tired to walk. We take a football which he plays for about 5 minutes before he says he wants to go to the playground. We go yo the playground and he expects me to climb on all the play equipment with him which obviously I can't do, then after 10 minutes he wants to ho home. Cue a 25 minute walk back with him dragging his feet the whole way complaining about how tired he is. I've tried explaining to him if he ate more and slept better or even rested a bit more during the day he'd have so much more energy.

I'm another in your boat and I also feel like I've done a rubbish job at the end of every day.
It's really hard work and i'm not enjoying it at the moment.
Threenager is spot on, he's a mini Kevin the teenager at the moment.

Three is the worst age so far, DS is 6 now, it does get better!

The only thing that ever helps is getting him to run off some energy.
I always seem to see other parents doing crafts or baking and I cannot fathom how they've managed to get their child to stay still and engaged for that long. No matter how many times I try he loses interest immediately.

So pleased there are others who feel the same way as me. I'm trying to steer clear of the booze as I fear if I start I may not stop!!! I've got lunch planned with my friends tomorrow and ds and I am dreading it.

Exactly the sane turtleneck! I set up paints for him the other day. We had collected some leaves for him to paint. He painted for about 2 minutes then said he was done. Took me 10 minutes to clean up and put everything away.

It can be a grind at that age - I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time. You aren't a terrible parent at all - just a very, very tired one! It's hard to be enthusiastic about anything when you are living with that sort of sleep deprivation over an extended period of time.

I agree with the poster above that if you can manage it, take him out every day. Mine at that age I thought of like a puppy - if I didn't take him to the park twice a day and wear him out there, he'd chew the sofa and eat all our shoes...

On the behaviour thing, blimey, this is pretty hard. In the end, the thing I found that worked was, if my DS at that age kicked off, I gave him three chances to calm down, then I marched him home. Didn't matter what we were doing - in the park, in the supermarket, in the playgroup - once I'd counted to three and he was still misbehaving, I'd put his coat on and march him home, no further chances. It was HUGELY inconvenient at the time, as more than once I left a full trolley of groceries in the supermarket as he'd kicked off, and there were other times where I took him home halfway through tea at someone else's house (the other mums supported me doing this), but it worked. Once it had kicked in, I just had to start counting to three and he'd pay attention.

I never punished him beyond just marching him home - the leaving-the-interesting-thing was the punishment by itself. The only way this works is if you are ABSOLUTELY consistent - never ever threaten it and don't do it - once you start counting down, you have to follow through. It might not work for you, but for us it really, really worked. (And of course it's no good if you are already at home and he kicks off.)

You say your OH is working a lot, and you work 3 days a week. Is there a chance you as a family might be able to afford someone to collect your DS from nursery one day a week and take him to the park for a couple of hours, just to let you catch up on sleep, or at least get home from work and not have to go straight into mum-of-a-toddler-mode?

Anyway, it does get better, and someday you WILL have a full night's sleep! There will even come a point where yours is old enough to make you a cup of tea! In the meantime, and .

OP - just seen your post re him dragging his feet at the park? Does he have a scooter (for one you are at the park - they are a menace on the pavements)? That might help him doing his own thing.

3 year olds are pretty awful....mine can be a joy and also a nightmare, although at the moment more nightmare than joy! I have a newborn too which doesn't help. We constantly discuss why she is difficult/what we could have done differently/what we should do now etc but have come to the conclusion that it is a phase. I also think that my DD is tired by mid afternoon as her behaviour takes a turn for the worse sat 2-3pm but if she sleeps bedtime goes from 7pm to 8:30pm so we don't encourage naps (rightly or wrongly), does your DS nap? might this help?.

Look at this book 123 Magic

I only read the beginning part and it made a MASSIVE difference to how we dealt with DD1.

If I look back at that time (DD1 is only 4 now!) it was a lot of telly/soft play/ "no one can say Mummy for the next 5 mins"/hitting my head repeatedly on the kitchen cupboard door... We also forked out for an extra preschool session per week so she was out of the house daily and one of those times was a full day!

I like the idea of thinking of him like a puppy. I'll definitely try to take him out more.
He does have a scooter, but scoots to the end of the road then says he doesn't want to scoot anymore which leads to me carrying scooter, football and trying to hold his hand when crossing roads etc.
I do often think he would benefit from at least some rest time during the day, especially in that lull just after lunch time but he will not sit still. Yesterday afternoon I thiyght I'd let him choose a film to watch, we closed the curtains to try and make it like the cinema but within 10 minutes he said he didn't want to watch that anymore and he wanted to play with me.
There isn't anyone I can really ask to have him after preschool as he already goes to grandparents for 2 days a week when I'm at work, oh has him the other, then he is at preschool for a day and a half on the days I don't work.

I'll take a look at that book Jimmy corkhill, thanks.

Thanks all for your advice and support. Oh doesn't get it. He's admitted that he doesn't like to upset ds but I've laid down the law on the phone tonight and told him we need to get tough, it's not about upsetting him it's about setting boundaries and teaching what is acceptable and what isn't. Oh is home tomorrow night somive told him he needs to take over with ds on Sunday and he needs to back me up with the discipline aspect. We'll see how that goes.