Do you let your children come into your bedroom in the mornings? Feel a bit mean, but not sure why

[Lsmum]

This might seem a bit trivial, but do many of you let your children come into your bedroom & wake you up in the mornings? I've never let ds do this (he's 6) because dh has never been a good sleeper and I've suffered from insomnia on and off since having ds, so basically having ds come in to our room early in the mornings doesn't have a lot of appeal, IYSWIM!

Having said that, I'm not the type of person to lie in and I'm usually up by about 7.30 - the latest I ever sleep in these days is around 8.00am. Ds usually gets up around 6.30 and then watches some kids' tv and gets himself a drink, lets the cat out & plays with his toys, etc. until I get up. He seems happy to do this and so far hasn't come into our bedroom, but does this seem 'mean' in any way? It's just that I always used to go into my parents' room when I was a kid and I know that friends of ours let their kids get into bed with them as soon as they wake up - never mind how early it is! Basically I'm just not very good at coping without enough sleep, which is why I have tried to enforce this. Does anyone else feel the same way? I'd love to have ds come and jump in with us in the mornings, but every ounce of sleep just seems to be vital these days...

No dd comes in when she wakes up usually

Sometimes she plays on her own first or I just grunt at her to come back in a bit!

ds now 12 has got himself up from about age 6 - dd 3 never gets out of bed by herself - she chatters away, and we go get her - at weekends we have tea and toast in bed altogether, which we all love, ds comes in as well.

ds2 (5) comes in quite a lot - to ask if he can watch YV or do PS2 - sometimes he asks for a drink.

Haven't seen ds1 for ages - he's 7

The cat comes in as well - anytime he fancies

Ds is nearly 3 and has always come in as soon as he wakes up...sometimes he will play around us on the bed and other times I will take him downstairs and settle him with some breakfast then put the tv on so can grab an extra hour.

YV = TV

our dd's, 3 and 5 both come in to our bed when they wake up, but sit quietly with a beaker of milk and at weekends when no school/nursery sit and watch tv while dh and I dose, or have a cup of tea in bed

you could get one of those bunny alarm clocks and when his ears pop up at the set time tell them they could come in to your bedroom so you get a bit of extra sleep and they have the pleasure of cuddling up in bed for 10 mins with you

i dont think you are being mean

my dd comes into our room, but she is only 4, i wish she wouldnt though. she comes in to ask "is it ok if i go to the toilet?" and "can i open my curtains?" as she likes to read

your ds sounds happy enough

That's just it - even if ds came in and sat on our bed or played in our room, that would be the end of sleep for me. I wouldn't be able to keep 'dozing' because I'd be well and truly awake by then. And dh is hopeless (or should I say 'useless') in the mornings.

I guess ds is used to doing his own thing in the mornings now, and he is a very independent kid, but I still wish that sleep wasn't an issue in our house. I'd love to have ds in bed with me in the mornings but I SO need that extra bit of sleep. Maybe we can work something out like you suggested, bagpussmice - thanks.

dd used to wake up far too early - 530am at times

we got one of those timer things (that people usually use when they go on holiday to put the lights on etc) and put a nightlight on it, and set it to 6am, telling her it wasnt time to get up til the light came on

she was surprisingly very good about it. we sneaked it forward 15 mins every few weeks, now she doesnt get up til 7am (with a few exceptions, but i just tell her "the lights not on yet, back to bed") and she will read if she cant get back to sleep

My DD would wake up and play in her room until i went to get her, she did not go downstairs on her own (had an burglar alarm then)- I would usually hear her playing though. If she got fed up of waiting, she would come in. When DS came along he was a terrible terrible sleeper and co-slept with me until very recently - I told DD (4.5 when he was born) that she must stay in her room and play very quietly and not come into my room, she wakes up veyr early sometimes and it was awful, after a bad night with DS, to be hissing "get out!" to DD - much better this way for us!

My dd is almost 6 and since having her I have NEVER woken up naturally ! She is allowed into our room once the "timer lamp" has come on which is 7am - but sometimes she decides it's broken and comes in earlier !

She has been a bit better lately and plays - noisily- in her room, but switches on all the lighyts - bathroom, landing etc and that wakes me up as much as noise !

I can only admire you for keeping yours out ! I wish I had done that !

Yes but it makes me feel like a control freak BlueBeetle I suppose it's good because it allows me (us) to get that extra bit of sleep but I just wish it didn't matter.

I don't know why I'm stressing over this. Just wishing I was more of a Mother Earth who allows her children to come in at any time they liked I suppose . Poor kid has never even slept in our bed, except for when he was a baby! Oh well, he still seems happy & quite well adjusted so maybe it's not too much of a big deal. I might just start getting him to come in more often once we're awake so he doesn't miss out all together.

My problem is a dh who can't stay in bed - even at the weekend. I've known him to be downstairs with the children making cakes at 6.30 on a Sunday morning!

We've never let our ds into our bed in the morning and it's never been an issue, in fact I don't remember him ever trying except a couple of times when he's had a nightmare or is ill when of course he has come in. That's probably 3 times in 12 years. We're very selfish parents who, on Sat and Sun spend a good hour chatting (and stuff!) as we're both up early and dashing around during the week. When our ds was younger he'd potter down & play with his toys, watch CBBBC and seemed quite happy. I can't remember him ever complaining about it. It would do my head in to have a little one jumping on me first thing in the morning and it wouldn't happen twice!

Our kids have always come into our bed in the morning. I think it is cos they were all bf to over a year so were used to coming in for a feed. Now, when they get up (anytime form 6 or so) they grab a cup of milk we leave out at the top of the stairs the night before and climb in with us. When they start to wriggle too much they get sent down to switch on cbeebies. Dd2 (2) often goes back to sleep, and the othe r2 dont normally get up much before 7, when we have to be getting up anyway. i like them coming in with us and I am really going to miss those early morning snuggles when they are finally over.

how do you stop him?

did he used to want to?

Nah, you carry on. Told our kids not to wake us up till 9 and they amuse themselves fabulously till then. They can get into bed with us then if they want. Maybe you feel a bit bad about it 'cause he's on his own (is he?) but he'll be used to that so you might as well get your sleep.

Weekday mornings dh and I are usually up and in the bathroom before they wake, dd1 will get in our bed whilst we're in the bathroom and we'll usually get back in for a quick cuddle. dd2 is usually too busy with very important playing. weekends dds shout "is it time to get up yet" and we either say no, yes you can get up and play, or yes you can come and have a cuddle - depending on what time it is. if they get the middle option we'll call them through for a cuddle when we've come round a bit. it's lovely and I too will miss it when they stop wanting it.

dd1 does - but she wakes between 6.30 and 7am. Dd2 is in a cot - so she can't.

If it works for you - then keep doing it.

If we did not let dd1 come in and see us ie. shut her door - she would just knock and knock and call out until we got up to her. She is only4. I reckon once she learnt to turn the tv and sky on to watch Hi-5 she probably wouldn't bother us at all.

They both have their doors shut and are unable to open them themselves as yet. But DD1 calls out for us and DD2 cries and we bring them in with us, anytime betwen 6am and 7.30 ish.

My children call for us, then we bring them in bed for a bit, and if it's early we take turns giving them breakfast while the other stays in bed (bliss!). Then everyone piles in after breakfast with books and cuddles, which is lovely. I recommend my system.

DS gets in for a hug and a chat, around 7. We usually get up around 7.30 in the week. Weekends, he brings in 10,000 teddies one at a time - takes him ages & we doze in beween!

I don't think you're being mean. I emphathise with your need to get as much sleep as possible and getting up at 7.30 sounds early enough. As others have said, your ds seems contented enough.

Erm empathise (too much wine)